There are many times in my life that I am glad that I am a fattie. Just like in my adult life, in my childhood I was less than a petite flower.
Growing up my BFF was DB, those were her initials and that is what I called her. We became bff’s because our parents were bff’s and when they would go out for an evening among adults I would sleep over at DB’s house. Why not at mine? Simple. Number one, their pool had the slide, mine did not. Second, she had an older brother who would watch us. Though watch isn’t really what I would call it. More like sibling and sibling friend torture. This is where my chunkiness worked for me.
See, DB was small. Really small, both height and weight. I would say at the time she was about 70 pounds (to this day she is probably not over 100…she eats, she is just tiny… bitch). Her brother was a good sitter when it was just him. He left us alone and that was about it. Trouble stirred when his friends would come over, then we were fair game. Well, DB was. See I bit them when the messed with me. That will teach them.
But, DB, poor DB would get hung upside down in the closet by her feet. They tried it once with me, did not go over well at all. Visualize if you will a hefty 12 year old falling onto the groin of DB’s brother’s friend. Oops, sorry about that…not.
One time, it was right after Thanksgiving and we were to eat leftovers for our dinner. DB’s brother’s friend told us to save him a piece of pie. I ate it. That’s right, take that. I was chased around a lot that night, got piled on and given Indian burns and what not on my skin. No worries though, I got my revenge. See I had to eat 4 pieces of pie to insure that DB’s brother and friends got no pie. Needless to say my tummy was a tad queasy. My revenge…vomit in his sleeping bag.
Amazingly enough I didn’t get an aversion to pumpkin after that…thank goodness.
When talking to my mom the other day she mentioned seeing a Turtle Pumpkin Cheesecake in some magazine. It sounded so good and so I was off to make some, mini ones in fact. This is basically just a pumpkin cheesecake topped with pecans, chocolate glaze and caramel. But oh my, does it make pumpkin cheesecake taste all that much better.

Mini Turtle Pumpkin Cheesecakes

1 cup pumpkin puree
½  cup heavy cream
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/4 tsp salt
1 ¼  pounds cream cheese
½  cup granulated sugar
½  cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 TBSP cornstarch
4 large eggs

12 vanilla or chocolate wafers (if not making mini cheesecakes, you will need to use a crust of your choice)
chocolate glaze
caramel sauce
1 cup chopped pecans

In a medium bowl, whisk together the pumpkin puree, heavy cream, vanilla extract, spice and salt. Set aside.
In the bowl of an electric mixer, using the paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese at medium low speed until creamy, about 2 minutes, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Gradually add the sugars and beat until blended.
Add the pumpkin mixture and mix till blended.
Add the cornstarch and mix just until combined. Add the eggs on at a time, mixing well after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary.
Place a vanilla wafer at the bottom of each of a prepared mini cheesecake pan.
Scrape the batter evenly among the pan ( you can fill them all the way to the top).
Wrap bottom of pan in aluminum foil.
Place the wrapped pan in a roasting pan or large baking pan. Pour enough hot water into the roasting pan to come 1 inch up the sides of the cheesecake pan.
Bake the cheesecakes in the water bath for 40 minutes(60 for 4 ½ -inch diameter, and 70 minutes for full size cheesecake) @ 350F, until the center of the cake is set but slightly wobbly(the cake will completely set as it cools).
Remove the cake pan from the water bath, place the pan on a wire rack, and carefully loosen the foil.  Let the cake cool completely.
Refrigerate the cheesecake for at least 4 hours.
Top each mini cheesecake with pecans. Drizzle both chocolate glaze and caramel glaze on each one as well.

Source: Adapted from The Cake Book by Tish Boyle 2006

Chocolate Glaze

4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
½ cup heavy cream
2 teaspoons light corn syrup

First, turn the cooled cake over onto another rack so you¢â¬â„¢ll be glazing the flat bottom, and place the rack over a baking sheet lined with parchment or wax paper to catch any drips.

Put the chocolate in a small heatproof bowl.

Melt the chocolate over a pan of simmering water or in a microwave oven ¢â¬â€œ the chocolate should be just melted and only warm, not hot.  Meanwhile, bring the cream to a boil in a small sauce pan.  Pour the hot cream over the chocolate and stir very gently with a rubber spatula until the mixture is smooth and shiny.  Stir in the corn syrup.

Glaze adapted from Baking From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan

Caramel Sauce

2 cups sugar
½ cup water
1 ½ TBSP light corn syrup
½  cup heavy cream plus 1 TBSP
1 tsp vanilla
2 TBSP unsalted butter, at room temperature

To make the topping:
Put the sugar, water and corn syrup in a medium heavy bottomed saucepan, stir just to combine the ingredients and then put the pan over medium-high heat.
Heat, without stirring , until the caramel turns deep amber, 5-10 minutes.
Take the pan off of the heat and, standing back from the saucepan add the cream and butter. When the spatters are less vehement, stir to calm down the caramel and dissolve any lumps. Add in the vanilla and whisk until smooth.

Adapted from Baking From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan

I was the best kind of teachers pet in school. For I did my work, got good grades, followed all the rules (never once getting detention or discipline of any kind), was helpful when asked but was not a suck up. But I was not a teachers pet in Junior High PE. Now I love sports, the only problem is we never did any sports I liked in Junior High. The problem was that both the girls PE coaches were competitive runners, doing marathons often. They were under the delusion that everyone else loved to run as well. I guess that is why our Track and Field Unit lasted most of my 8th grade year. We also ran the mile every Friday…in AZ heat, when I had 7th hour…that’s right, the peak of the heat. Plus they were insane to think that we could all run a mile quickly. You could not get an A if you did not run in 6:30 or less. Um, yeah, I was around the 8 minute and something mark. This body was not built for running. So needless to say I did a lot of extra credit work to keep my grade up in that class.
One day they said we were doing something special and NO running would be involved. I was beyond excited. I was up for almost anything at that point. That was until the said Square Dancing….with the boys PE class. Square Dancing? Touching another persons hormonal sweaty hand while dancing? Ew. I let them know my feelings and in return I got the horror of my life. My group of four nerdy girls got stuck with the stoner boys. I was mortified. Half the time they didn’t show up to school let alone for gym class and now half of my grade was depending on this. I was also told NO extra credit since no running was involved. I must have been pretty scary because I laid down the law to them that the darn well better get their butts to class every day or they would answer to me. It worked. They showed. They sucked. We would barely touch fingers.
I got what one might call the leader of the stoner group, A, as my partner. Hair down to the middle of his back and his perpetual red eyes. Luckily he never smelled of pot but always stunk of cigarettes. We learned the steps but were told that if we didn’t show some enthusiasm we would be marked down at the Jamboree.
The day came where we were to compete. My stoner boys were not there. Crap. Finally they strolled in. Brains fried beyond belief. Normally I would have been pissed, but this one time it worked in our favor. As these guys went full out Square Dancing dork. Slapping their legs and full on holding our hands and smiling the whole time. Me and the other girls just went with it. We won the blue ribbon that day and got an A+ for that unit.
My AZ friend sent me a newspaper clipping the other day. Apparently my former stoned square dancing partner now runs a multi-million dollar company. There was a picture of him, all clean cut with his wife and two kids. It made me chuckle out loud and reminded me that you never really know where life is going to lead you.
What does this have to do with bread pudding? Well when I baked the bread I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do with it. So you could say I didn’t know where the loaf was going to lead me. I thought about French Toast with some caramelized bananas. But while rummaging through my pantry I saw a bag of marshmallows. Mmm, S’mores. And then it hit me, I should try to make a S’mores bread pudding, so I did.
First you do have to make the bread which will make your house smell like hot chocolate got poured on it, so yummy. Then you chop that up, throw on some graham crackers and chocolate chips. Bake and top with marshmallows while still warm to get them to melt. Top with some chocolate syrup and you are in serious business.
Speaking of not knowing where life will lead you. Tomorrow is the US Presidential election. If you haven’t voted yet, PLEASE go and vote tomorrow. Don’t let long lines discourage you. Don’t believe fliers that tell you to vote on another day. Don’t believe that you will be arrested or any of the other BS that has been floating around. Tuesday, November 4th. That is the day you vote. So, go vote!
VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOVOTE!VOTE!VOTE!TE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!

S’mores Bread Pudding

1 Guatemalan Hot Chocolate Bread (recipe follows)- cut up into square pieces

1 ½ cups heavy whipping cream
½ cup whole milk
2/3 cup granulated sugar
3 egg yolks
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract

10 graham crackers
¾ cup mini chocolate chips
2 cups marshmallows (give or take, the amount is really up to you)

Butter a 8-x-8-inch pan.
Whisk together the heavy whipping cream, milk, sugar, egg yolks, egg and vanilla extract. Set aside, this is the custard mixture.
Sprinkle bread pieces on the bottom of the pan so that the pan is covered. Break graham crackers in to pieces and sprinkle evenly half of them on top of the bread. Sprinkle evenly half of the chocolate chips as well. Add 1/3 of the custard mixture and press bread down so that the custard soaks in. You may need more custard depending on how dry your bread is. Then add bread pieces again, followed by remaining graham crackers and chocolate chips. Add another 1/3 of the custard mixture and again press the bread down to make sure all the bread pieces get soaked with custard. Keep adding the custard until all of the piece are soak through with custard. You will most likely have both bread pieces and custard left over, feel free to make a mini one.
Place dish in a water bath and bake at 350F for 1 hour. After the first 20 minutes, place aluminum foil on top of the bread pudding to prevent the graham cracker pieces and top of the bread from browning too much.
When the bread pudding comes out of the oven, immediately spread marshmallows on top to allow them to melt. You can use a kitchen torch or place under a broiler to get the toasted marshmallow look. Top with chocolate syrup and serve warm.

Guatemalan Hot Chocolate Bread

make 1 round loaf

4 TBSP unsalted butter, chilled
½ cup whole milk
2 tsp dried yeast
¼ cup granulated sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coffee extract
2 eggs
¼ cup dark cocoa powder, sifted
2 ¼ cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt

Cut butter into dime-sized pieces and set aside to reach room temperature.
Warm milk slightly in a small saucepan an d pour into bowl of your stand mixer. Add yeast, 1 TBSP of the sugar, and vanilla extract. Mix with a whisk to dissolve yeast, then let bowl sit for 5 minutes while yeast blooms.
Add remaining sugar, coffee extract, eggs, cocoa powder, flour, and salt. Using the hook attachment, mix on low speed for about 2 minutes to bring ingredients together. Switch to a medium speed and start dropping pieces of butter into the dough. Continue mixing for 12-14 minutes. Dough will look satiny and stingy. Let dough rest of 5 minutes.
Pull dough from the bowl onto a floured work surface and form into a ball. Place ball in an oiled, medium bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let proof in a warm room, 70 to 75F, for 2 hours. Dough will almost double in size.
Remove cover and place dough back on floured work surface. Flatten dough with your hands to release excess air bubbles. Pull edges of dough onto the top, repeating this action until you have formed a tight ball. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper and place ball in the center. Cover with plastic wrap and let proof in a warm room for 1 hour. Loaf will almost double in size.
While loaf is proofing, preheat oven to 350F.
Remove plastic wrap and place baking sheet on center rack of oven and bake for 1 hours. The finished loaf will be deep brown and sound hollow when tapped on the bottom. Let cool on a wire rack for 30 minutes.

 Adapted from Macrina Bakery and Cafe Cookbook by Leslie Mackie