What not to wear…

 

I guess I am fortunate enough that after I got married I moved to another state. Lucky in the fact that I don’t really have the chance of running into my ex-boyfriends (though I did play against a guy I went on a date with right when we moved up here). What’s the big deal you ask? Well, nothing is worse than having a Slurpee craving when it is 110F outside in Phoenix and running to the 7-11. Now you are just running for a Slurpee so there is no need for make up, no real need for a bra (my mother would STRONGLY disagree with this statement), hair in a ponytail (and possibly a hat), and you are a sweaty mess because Phoenix is crappy hot. And though it may be hot, you do not look hot. And that of course is when you run into your ex-boyfriend, who is usually standing there with his new gorgeous girlfriend.
So I may have been able to get around looking bad for ex’s but I do a spectacular job of looking like crap for the neighbors, on a consistent basis I might add. We will take the other day for example. I was off to have lunch with some girlfriends and was dressed up rather cute (well, cute for me). Was there a neighbor in sight? No, clearly not. I even kind of lingered outside a bit just in case someone were to come out. No such luck. Upon returning from lunching I also lingered, but again, nothing.
I took a look around the house and decided it could use some cleaning. So up I went to change into my cleaning outfit. My cleaning outfit (if I am doing toilets and showers…which I was) consists of ratty green sweatpants that is pilling up and the threads are hanging barely hanging on. There is a bleach stain on the crotch (don’t ask because even I don’t know). My recycle t-shirt which looks like I recovered it from the paper shredder. And of course my nicely done hair gets thrown up into a ponytail and I usually have on a bandanna. And to make things even sexier (it’s really hard to fight of my husband sometimes ;) ) is the fact that I have so many allergies I wear a surgical mask (doctors orders) while I clean.
I am cleaning away and the dog starts to do the potty dance. So out we go. Our dog hates going to the bathroom on the grass and tries to go on the patio so you have to go out there with her to make sure she doesn’t try and be sneaky (stand on grass but still pee on patio). Our house stands on taller ground than the most of our neighbors. So they can see you. I forget this sometimes. I walk out with the dog. And there is our neighborhood. All of them. I must have missed the memo about the gathering :) . I quickly ditched the mask but the rest of the ensemble was stellar all the same. I got to talking to my one neighbors and without thinking walked out the back gate to talk to her. She couldn’t help but stare at my bleach stain. I mean, I would stare if someone was wearing what I was. The good news is that I did not flash them at least (that is a story for another time).
It was pretty much how my week had been going. Along with my lose of motivation, it appears that I have also lost my luck. I’m bound and determined to find it. But since the week was less than adequate I needed some sugar to make it better. I had a lot of leftover blackberries so I decided to use them in a cupcake batter. Since I love blackberries and lime together I decided that the frosting should be key lime and cream cheese. Mmmm. These are awesome until  you bite into them. Because when purple food bakes up, it pretty much turns gray. And well, gray food is that appealing. So eat these with your eyes closed and you will be loving it.

Blackberry Cupcakes with Key Lime Cream Cheese Frosting

Blcakberry Cupcakes

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup cake flour (you can use all-purpose if you need)
2/3 cup blackberry puree (with the seeds removed)
1 TBSP. baking powder
1 tsp  salt
½  cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
¼ cup vegetable oil
1 ½ cups granulated sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup whole milk
5 egg whites

Sift together flours, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl; set aside.
In a mixing bowl (if using a stand mixer use the paddle attachment), cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
Add vanilla extract and blackberry puree. Beat until incorporated.
In a liquid measuring cup, combing vegetable oil and milk.
Add flour mixture and milk/oil mixture alternatively to the mixing bowl. Beating on low speed after each addition.
Pour mixture into a large bowl. Scrape down to make sure you get all of the batter.
Clean out bowl and switch to whisk attachment.
Beat egg whites until stiff peaks form.
Fold 1/3 of the egg whites into the batter, to “lighten” the batter. Gently fold in the remaining egg whites.
Grease and lightly flour muffin pans. Fill each cup half full.
Bake at 375 degrees for 18 to 20 minutes or until done.
Cool on a wire rack.
Frost with Key Lime Cream Cheese Frosting.

Key Lime Cream Cheese Frosting

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
3 TBSP unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup key lime juice
1 tsp vanilla extract
2-4 cups powdered sugar (depending on the consistency you are going for)

Beat together the cream cheese and butter, about 2 minutes. Add key lime juice and vanilla while mixer is on low until fully incorporated.
Add powdered sugar 1 cup at a time until you reach desired consistency.

 

Comments

  1. I’m bad about thinking I have to put make-up on if I’m going out…I really do if it’s first thing in the morning. If I’ve been up I can handle make-up free…though I don’t have any exes to worry about! :-) These cupcakes look absolutely delicious! I love the blackberry lime combo.

  2. So I’m sitting here trying to write and read you and now I’m laughing hysterically. Maybe that will break my block.
    Blackberry and lime I can close my eyes for, pass me three please one right after the other so I can find them with my eyes closed.
    When I clean toilets I tend to have a lot less on but then it’s usually a lot warmer in Dallas.

  3. So so so true, you are seen the most when you really don’t want to be seen!
    The cupcakes look oh so delicious, I love the combination! Thank you for another lovely recipe to ad to the list I need to try! :)

  4. Wow, these look so so good! And I even have some blackberries in the fridge…yay! :)

  5. LOL! I do the face mask as well, at least for the cat litter. I can magically summon the next door neighbor with her daughter wanting to come play when I’m a mess like that. The cupcakes sound delicious! What is it with green and purple batter? It can look so pretty and then it bakes into some really funky color.

  6. It’s the law of life that you never run into anyone when your dressed the best. I hate it. I’m always running into people when I stop at the store after the gym.

    Your cupcakes look delicious…great photos.

  7. Hehehe, I loved that story! Here, in Europe (Switzerland), you always have to dress up to go out, even to the letter box…

    Nice cupcakes! Extremely yummy!

    Cheers,

    Rosa

  8. I grow a special kind of blackberry in my veggie patch. I LOVE blackberries. There’s enough berries for 8 pies this winter in the freezer. The deer like them so much that we had to build a special fence around the veggie patch. Never thought to put them on a cupcake, though. Very clever. But it makes soooo much sense !

  9. I am sure if you pass a plate of these around at your next neighborly meeting all will be forgiven…..even the bleach mark!

  10. LOL, that’s SO true … And yes, that’s why I usually move after I go through a breakup! :)

    You’re not alone, I have some super ratty sweats that I wear around the house ALL the time .. And I have been known to run to the store in them in the winter … I figure by now, most people who know me, know me well enough to know that I’m not going to get all dolled up for a grocery run :)

  11. Can’t wait for the flasher story!

    These cupcakes look awesome, even if they are gray inside. This is often why I don’t order blueberry smoothies, because though they’re so pretty when they’re first made, 30 minutes later, they’re pretty mucky and quite unappetizing.

  12. Ha you really made me laugh with your story. If this makes you feel better I usually wear crappy things when I m cleaning and my hair is a whole mess of frizz and no make up. That surely is an excellent way to keep your man away :) This dessert must taste like heaven. LOoks really nice for sure.

  13. Spot on! That really made me laugh. I all too often look like a bag of poop. Have been known to sneak the kids to school with my pj’s still on under my clothes and VERY long coat. Out and about you can guarantee the day I look my very worst I’ll bump into an x, or worse still x’s friends. Most x’s will be kind, their friends, not so.

    I’ve never made key lime anything but have limes that need using so I’m off to explore…

  14. It sounds like you are telling my life story….You are so funny, I love it!!

    My husband loves blackberries and I have got to try this recipe. Thanks for posting it.

  15. Yummy! I love blackberries! And I moved to a small town in a new state when I got married. Small towns tend to be hugely gossipy so I have to look nice every time I leave the house. It’s such a drag.

  16. Haha, cute story, as always – and I love the CCS “potty dance” :-D

    LOVELY cupcakes!!

  17. lol I am the same way. I swear my husband’s family only decides to drop by quick to pick something up, drop something off, etc. when I am either just done working out (on the treadmill at home, so of course I’m not wearing anything that remotely matches) or when I’ve already changed into ratty old pajamas.
    The cupcakes look fantastic! Great flavor combo.

  18. sigh…that seems to happen to me a lot too…I’m in my ratty sweatpants when neighbors show up. And my dog does not like doing his thing on the grass either…luckily he would on the mulched area…
    Love the cupcake!

  19. Hah! I’d love to hear that flash story, heh :) And that’s why my ratty clothes are just for indoors!
    Gray? I see no gray, only golden deliciousness ;) By the time I bite into it, the taste will have distracted me!

  20. I love your blog — I just found it and it’s so great! I was laughing so hard reading this post. It reminds me of being in college and getting dragged to the grocery store one day to help a friend get a money order to pay her speeding ticket. I don’t remember what I was wearing, probably pj’s or something, and as I was complaining about looking like crap, we ran straight into a guy that I really liked and had just gone on a date with. Instead of playing it cool, I took one look at him, got an expression of horror on my face, and turned and ran to find safety in the feminine needs aisle. Not my best moment. At least if I’d had those cupcakes I would have felt so much better about all of that at the time!

  21. Ooh, I always happened to be sick and miserable whenever my exes would come into the store I worked in! It’s mortifying!

    The cupcakes look really yummy. :)

  22. I hope these babies changed your luck!

  23. i hope you find your luck (and i hope i find some blackberry cupcakes…). :)

  24. One of my girlfriends birthdays is coming up and I’ve been scouring for a cute cupcake recipe to make for her. This would be perfect!! Do you think food coloring might help with the grayness?? And I hate having to take the dog out when you look like crap. We live in NYC, so when ours wants to go out I feel like I’m on parade for all of park avenue – yuk!

  25. I am the same way- I never dress up to go to the grocery store or someplace like that and it seems like I will always run into someone I know! These cupcakes look yummy, especially the frosting!

  26. BEAUTIFUL cupcakes, LOVE the flavor combo!

    I know exactly what you mean about being in the scariest outfit-no makeup-hair in shambles when running into people. But I bet you’re way harder on yourself than they are (and that they haven’t gotten into a ball gown to walk the dog or get a Slurpee either!) :)

  27. These look so delicious. SERIOUSLY delicious. And so cute, too. I absolutely love the colors in the pictures. Ah! I really, really need one.
    To eat.
    Right now.

    http://abbiescookingblog.blogspot.com

  28. The couple of times that I have run into minor celebrities I was looking like something the cat hocked up..
    I love lime and blackberry too. I wouldn’t mind closing my eyes for the sake of such exquisite treats!

  29. Yay, a (slightly) easier recipe to try and replicate.I love your photos, blog and recipes…they’re just a little out of reach for a novice like me.;) Just requesting that occasionally you bake something that those who are not quite at your level can make.

    Thanks!

  30. I will happily close my eyes and eat one of these. Don’t feel bad my neighbors see me at my finest almost everyday I don’t think the know I wear pants other than sweat pants.

  31. My poor neighbours have seen me in so many terrible states of disarray that I’m half expecting to find their therapist’s bills in my mail box! I put out my garbage in my jammies, sit in my yard soaking up the sunshine with deep conditioner in my hair – it’s a bad scene.

  32. Lol! From your story I learned 2 things – consider getting surgical masks when I clean (I have horrible allergies and my sense of smell is mostly shot because of sinuses) and trying blackberry & lime together (I love blackberry & lemon but lime sound better!). I can relate to you with your neighbors. Since I’m in pajamas most of the time, I tend to wait until late at night to check mail so they don’t suspect I was in my pajamas all day. :)

  33. I am so living in the wrong state. You should see how I leave the house. You would feel a lot better about yourself ;-)

  34. I don’t have many neighbors close by, but the mailman, UPS guy, FedEx and every other delivery person has seen me in my “clean the barn” outfits. Not beautiful, but no one has ever said anything about it.

  35. I know that doggy’s gotta go potty dance so well. How did you get such good blackberries at this time of the year? Lucky you! They look yummy! Unfortunately, the ones I had the other day looked gorgeous but had insipid flavour! Cool sounding combination of key lime and blackberries!

  36. Oh Peabody! I know the feeling/situation well! It’s ok, we are yummy all the same, just like your cupcakes :)

  37. blackberry and key lime – a great idea! Pea I am sure you look cute in any outfit – bleach stain, surgical mask and all! I would have left the mask on and then the next day said something like “was their a weird person hanging around wearing a surgical mask here yesterday?”

  38. Lime and berries together are one of my all time favorite combos, Pea. I could use a couple of these beauties right now, I’ll tell you that.
    If I ever get out of the apartment with my favorite stay-in clothes people will go blind. :D

  39. I always drive my kid to school in my pj’s with hair all messed up from sleeping. One of these days the car is going to break down and then I’ll be in trouble!

    I suppose if you just put chunks of blackberry in there without pureeing that it wouldn’t turn gray. The icing looks marvelous.

  40. oh, i know that cleaning outfit well. probably one of the sexiest ensembles i own i might add.

    oh, and the cupcakes are beautiful! love the key lime cram cheese frosting.

  41. haha! Just close your eyes and sally forth! ;-) That cracked me up.

    The cupcakes look intensely delicious. Yum.

  42. no bra to go to the store??? lol. i wear a bra to bed!! :P

  43. Unappealing on the inside or not, these cupcakes look fantastic.

    As for the issue of always ending up looking good only when no one is around to appreciate, I so hear you on that one. In fact, it seems to be my constant lot in life. On the rare occasion when others do see me looking decent, their reaction of shock is at once complimentary, but in a totally back handed way.

    Oh well. I’m used to looking like dead mommy warmed over. Why mess with it! LOL!

  44. LOL…all in a day’s work & hilarious! I am SO ENVIOUS of those plump blackberries & very pretty cupcakes with that yum frosting. WOW!!!

  45. How about a pic of you in your cleaning suit to make us all feel better?

  46. So funny! Love your description of your cleaning outfit. I’m sure it will be in the next Nordstrom catalog.

  47. Your entry made me laugh out loud! I totally can relate to what you’re saying. Some people just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, I guess :P

    And trust me, I don’t think we’ll even close our eyes eating these. They look lovely!

  48. They’re certainly beautiful on the outside! (I tried to make purple frosting one time. Total. Disaster.)

  49. peabody your stories are classic, golden classic!! you’re one of the best blog writers out there, by far. and those cupcakes look delicious!!

  50. LMAO! I feel you 100% on the neighbors thing. A towel on my hair, mismatched pajamas? Yep, they’ll be out then.

    And those cupcakes – yum! I might need to pick up some more blackberries at the store tomorrow. :)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] cupcakes are light and airy because of the egg whites, but rich with flavor. The original recipe calls for key lime frosting. But since James isn’t a fan of lime flavors, I successfully [...]

  2. [...]   First off I want to say hi to all the Food Bloggers out there who are coming into Seattle for the IFBC this weekend! So excited to meet all of you…as I am sure you are excited to meet me (insert sarcastic tone here).  I promise not to wear the green sweatpants. [...]

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