Exciting news! I figured out who could play the role of Peabody if they ever decided to make the world’s most boring movie about my life. Jessica Simpson. You know, because she is sooooo fat now. Mooo. Mooo. Mooo.
I find it amazing that in today’s world where thousands and thousands of people are losing their jobs weekly, some of whom I know, every magazine right now seems to only care about how fat Jessica has gotten. Are you kidding me? This just really says a lot about our society. A lot. Oh I will be the first to admit that the outfit that she chose was beyond horrid. I mean, it was no bleach stained green sweatpants that I like to don, but still. Not flattering. But going on and on about how fat she is makes me feel bad for her.
Now I know you will say that it’s her job to look great. But quite honestly, she is gorgeous enough that a little extra padding doesn’t make her any less beautiful to me. But it does to everyone else. Though, the good news is that the guys on my hockey team would still “do her”…ah men, so special sometimes.
Maybe the world would do a bit of good if all the actresses and models of the world would get as fat as Jessica currently is. Maybe girls/women wouldn’t be throwing up what they eat out of guilt. Maybe my friends who are size 2 and 4′s can stop obsessing and calling themselves fat (I find this really disheartening). I mean it’s not like she is unhealthy. I am quite certain that she is within her bogus BMI. Jessica, you just keep keeping on. If you are happy, then just ignore the magazines and television shows that are calling you fat. Live your life girl…and give that football player of yours some cushion for pushing.
That being said I will admit that I am on a diet. Technically I am no longer on the diet. I did it for about a week. And before you go and start thinking I am being hypocritical, I did not go on the diet to lose weight.  I went on the diet to get inspired.
See, nothing gets my creative juices flowing like knowing I am not allowed to eat anything I really want to eat. Diet Jello and carrots with hummus send my mind immediately thinking about sweets and different flavor combos. I do it to help with food blog block so to speak. I was craving coffee cake and decided to make it into cupcake form. It’s just a little sweeter than regular coffee cake and has a nice glob of cinnamon buttercream frosting. I tried the stick of gum thing to help my cravings, but oddly enough, that didn’t work.

Coffee Cake Cupcakes

Cake Batter:

8 ounces unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ½ cups granulated sugar
½ cup firmly packed light brown sugar
¼ tsp orange zest
4 eggs
½ cup whole milk
½ cup sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup cake flour
1 ½ cups self rising flour

For the Filling:
1 cup toasted pecans, chopped
3 TBSP dark brown sugar
2 TBSP granulated sugar
¼ tsp ground cinnamon
Using a stand mixer, beat together the butter and sugars until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add in orange zest and beat for another 30 seconds.
Add eggs, one at a time. Scrape down the bowl after each addition.
Whisk together milk, sour cream and vanilla extract in a small bowl. Set aside.
Sift together the all-purpose flour, cake flour and self rising flour in a medium bowl and set aside.
Add 1/3 of the flour mixture to the mixer bowl and mix on low speed and mix until incorporated. Add ½ of the milk mixture and mix until incorporated. Repeat with another 1/3 of the flour mixture, then the milk and finally the flour mixture again. Mix until all is fully incorporated. But do not over mix.
In a small bowl, mix together the pecans, sugars and cinnamon. Set aside.
Prepare muffin tins with butter and flour, or use liners.
This is a thick batter and I find it best to pipe it in. Pipe in ¼ of the way up. Add a generous tsp of filling. Pipe in the batter just to cover up the filling. Add another tsp of filling. And again pipe batter on top of filling.
Bake at 350F for 22-25 minutes.
Let cool in pan for 5 minutes, then remove from pan and let continue to cool on a wire rack. Frost when completely cool.

Cinnamon Buttercream

4 ounces unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups powdered sugar
2 TBSP heavy cream
¼ tsp cinnamon

Beat all ingredients using a mixer. Mix until all ingredients are incorporated and frosting is smooth.

Sometimes I get little polls sent to me on email or via Facebook. They ask questions, sometimes silly ones, about your life so that people can get to know you better. I am always stumped by the question, “what actress would play you in a movie about your life?”
First off, if someone made a movie about my life it would either A. Go straight to DVD. Or B. Become a made for TV movie on either Lifetime or the Hallmark Channel. So that really cuts down on my actress choice. Because really, does Kate Winslet want to be in a made for TV movie, I think not. And though if I were picking a body to play me I would choose Kate Winslet, the reality is (other than she looks nothing like me) is that as lovely as she is as a person, she is not quirky enough to play me. Let’s face it, I really need someone who is a little off center.
In a face recognition program I match up with Hayden Panettiere (the cheerleader from Heros), she would so have to pack on some serious pounds ala Renee Zellweger for Bridget Jone’s Diary to play me. She is far too famous now to pack on the pounds for a made for TV movie. They don’t give out Oscars for that. And now a days the only reason to show yourself naked (tastefully) or gain weight is to try and get and Oscar.
Oh well, I guess I still can’t answer that question. What about you? Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Speaking of things that should be in a movie. This super yummy Snickerdoodle Blondie. I had a reader write me and tell me that though she was a fan of the refund muffin she would like for me to make a new Snickerdoole baked good. So off I went. These are something I so wish I didn’t make. I know that the pan, the whole pan, will be going in my stomach. No amount of gym time will be making up for me eating the whole pan, but darn it, these are good. Especially warm, with slightly melty ice cream.

Snickerdoodle Blondies

8 ounces (two sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup loosely packed light brown sugar
3 ounces Mascarpone cheese
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
¾ tsp cream of tarter
¼ tsp freshly grated nutmeg
2 cups all-purpose flour

Cinnamon Sugar for coating (about 1/3 cup)

Preheat oven to 350F.
Butter a 9 by 13-inch pan. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar and move pan around to make sure that the bottom and sides are coated. Set aside.
In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and cream of tarter.
Using an stand mixer, cream together the butter and sugars. Beat for three minutes. Scrape down the bowl.
Add the Mascarpone cheese and beat until fully incorporated.
Add eggs, one at a time, scraping down the bowl after each addition.
Add the vanilla and beat for another 30 seconds.
On low speed add the sifted flour mixture. Mix until fully incorporated.
Spread mixture evenly into prepared pan. This will be hard as it is a thick batter. I found it easiest to just wet my hands a little and press the batter into the pan. Then even it out afterwards with a spatula.
Sprinkle more cinnamon sugar on top of the batter.
Bake for 20-25 minutes.
Remove from oven and let cool on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Cut into squares and serve. I like mine warm with ice cream.

I was trotting along on the elliptical today doing my best to zone out and to trick my body to not thinking it’s legs are just going around and around and not actually going anywhere(which how in the heck do those Biggest Loser people do this crap for 8 hours a day?), when in they came again. Teenagers. Apparently our local high school must not have a gym. Well, I think they have a gym, I don’t think they have a weight room. So they bus them to the gym, always at the time I am working out. They don’t come everyday and to be honest I can’t figure out their schedule to save my life. I have learned to show up a couple minutes early or there will be no machine available.
A woman walks around with a clipboard. The minute she is gone (the gym has an upstairs and a downstairs) they go back to doing nothing. They just stand on the equipment texting away. The girls usually pretend to be doing cardio and the guys pretend to be doing weights. Except this kid who comes out in his street clothes every time and walks on the treadmill. The girls of course all hover together. I have stopped listening to my Ipod at this point because I can not get it loud enough to drowned out their fine conversation. Which usually consists of some form of this:
“Oh no she didn’t. Oh no she didn’t. Oh, that bitch.” This goes on in many variations for quite some time. They do this loudly and then get pissed when you glance over. If you don’t want me to hear you conversation ladies, don’t have it in front of me.
Then there is the classic ones where the story starts with “We were so drunk…” or ends with “I can’t believe how drunk we were.”
Can I say how much I weep for the future. Ugh. If these kids I see a couple times a week are any indication we are all screwed. Royally.
I would gladly give up the gym, but then I would have to give up sweets, and well, I can’t have that now can I?
It’s not often that I can say that I find a dessert that I have not tried. Heck, just look at my survey of the 100 desserts…I’ve eaten a lot of dessert. So when I got my one and only cookbook for Christmas this year, Cooking by Hand, I was delighted to see a recipe that I had never heard of….Warm Yeasted Apple Pudding. It’s like nothing I had ever tasted and if you are an apple lover, this is almost all apple. I will say it is a strange dessert. You definitely get the taste of the yeast, and with only 2 TBSP of flour it’s not quite like the German pancake I thought I would be getting.
But I through on some toffee sauce (it seemed like it would need something) and I made some Vanilla Bean Crème Fraiche Ice Cream to accompany it. This book has a lot of interesting recipes, especially desserts, that I can’t wait to explore.

Warm Yeasted Apple Pudding

3 pounds apples (I used a variety of Granny Smith, Gala and Fuji)
½ cup whole milk
1 ¼ tsp dry yeast
5 TBSP melted butter
2 TBSP all-purpose flour
1 whole egg
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/8 tsp salt

Butter a 9-inch round baking pan.
Peel, halve, and core the apples. Cut apples into a rough dice (the original recipe has you slice them using and mandoline but I was lazy because of my hand).
Pour milk into a small saucepan and simmer until it is lukewarm temperature. Remove from heat source and sprinkle the yeast over the milk. Allow to proof, about 5 minutes.
When the yeast is proofed, whisk the melted butter, flour, egg, sugar, and the salt into the milk. The mixture will resemble a thin batter.
Pour this batter over the apple pieces and mix thoroughly, turning the apple pieces so that the are covered in the batter. Turn the apples into the prepared pan and smooth the top with a spatula.
Set the pudding aside to rise at warm room temperature for 1 hour, or until you notice that the batter has swelled slightly and appears puffy.
Preheat oven to 375F.
Bake the pudding on the middle rack of the oven for 1 hour and 10 minutes, or until it is tender when proved in the middle and deeply browned all over it’s top surface.
Allow the pudding to cool for at least 20 minutes before serving.
Serve warm with sauce and ice cream.

Adapted from Cooking by Hand by Paul Bertolli

Vanilla Bean Creme Fraiche Ice Cream

2 cups creme fraiche
¾  cup half-and-half
¼ cup buttermilk
2 vanilla bean pods, scraped, save pods
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
6 egg yolks

Place half-and-half in a small saucepan. Place vanilla beans and their pods into the half-and-half. Bring to a boil and immediately take off of heat. Let sit for 20 minutes. Remove vanilla bean pods.
Combine creme fraiche, vanilla bean infused half-and-half, buttermilk, vanilla extract and sugar, and warm the mixture over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the sugar has dissolved, 3 to 5 minutes.
In a medium bowl, whisk the egg yolks just until blended, then temper the eggs by whisking in about one-quarter of the warm half-and-half mixture. Return the yolk mixture to the saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the custard coats the spoon, about 10 minutes.
Strain the ice cream custard into a medium bowl to remove any lumps and let cool to room temperature, then refrigerate until fully chilled, at least 3 hours.
Pour the mixture into an ice-cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer¢â¬â„¢s instructions. Transfer the ice cream to an airtight container and freeze until set, at least 2 hours.