Just ask any man and he will (hopefully) say that given the choice between a blow up doll and a real live girlfriend, he chooses the real life girlfriend. That is what the IFBC was for me (no there was no blow up doll in the goodie bag). It was my chance to finally meet people in real life that I had been reading and talking to for so long. That is what I mostly took away from the conference. Well, that and I pay $350 but can’t get a chair (but that’s another rant for another day).
I’ve been reading many bloggers recaps of the IFBC. Some all rosy and happy. Some bitter. Most somewhere in between. Meeting people however seems to be the one thing most people can agree on as the positive.
Many people had epiphanies while there. I am not excluded in this category. But I don’t think mine was the same as others. The one thing I most definitely learned this last weekend is that I am not a food writer. Oh I may be a writer as in the fact that I write words on this blog and some of you actually read them (still not sure why). But food I cannot write about.
This became painfully obvious during the writing with all of your senses portion of the conference. While describing my lemon as a sunshine colored double sided 18 year olds perky breast, the rush of wow, I am not cut out to describe food came over me. Let’s face it, most of my post aren’t actually about food. They are about me (fabulous me, try not to vomit)rambling on about something and then down at the bottom, oh yeah, I made some food.
I let the pictures do the talking, which for most people is fine. And according to much hate mail,  I make recipes that contribute to the obesity of America (and Canada and probably a third world country or two thrown in for good measure). That’s my thing. Writing is not.
The other thing much talked about this weekend was traffic. Lots of bloggers asked me how I got my traffic, what was my secret. Umm, none. Been around a long time. Plain and simple. So since I have no real answer to that maybe you can answer that…Why Do You Read My Little Fattening Food Blog?
Oh wait, almost forgot, I made food. ;) This is my take on Coconut Cream Pie. I hate, as most of you know to make pie crust. This was way better than pie crust anyway. And technically way better than pie crust! So I did something more healthy than the original (did you feel the Earth stop rotating there for a moment?)
I am not a super coconut cream pie fan, but have to say this is full on yummy. I’d describe it but I learned I suck at that. So I’ll just say eat it instead.

Toasted Coconut Meringue Stacks filled with Coconut Cream Pie Filling

Coconut Cream Pie Filling (ala Tom Douglas)
2 cups milk
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut
1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2/3 cup granulated sugar
3 TBSP all-purpose flour
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened

Place shredded coconut into a food processor and pulse until coconut becomes more meal like and less of a stringy mess.
To make the pastry cream, combine the milk and coconut in a medium saucepan. Place the saucepan over medium-high heat and stir occasionally until the mixture almost comes to a boil.
In a bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, vanilla, and flour until well combined.
Temper the eggs (to keep them from scrambling) by pouring a small amount (about 1/3 Cup) of the scalded milk into the egg mixture while whisking.
Then add the warmed egg mixture to the saucepan of milk and coconut. Whisk over medium-high heat until the pastry cream thickens and begins to bubble. Keep whisking until the mixture is very thick, 4 to 5 minutes more.
Remove the saucepan from the heat. Add the butter and whisk until it melts.
Transfer the pastry cream to a bowl and place it over a bowl of ice water. Stir occasionally until it is cool. Place a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface of the pastry cream to prevent a crust from forming and refrigerate until completely cold. The pastry cream will thicken as it cools. Keep in refrigerator until ready to use.
Pastry Cream Recipe adapted from Tom Douglas Seattle Kitchen…and shameless lifted from Cakespy so as not to have to type it all out.  Thanks Jessie.

Toasted Coconut Meringues
4 egg whites, at room temperature
1/4 tsp.  cream of tartar
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
2/3 cup toasted unsweetened coconut, finely chopped (use a food processor)

Preheat oven to 250F.
Using a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, beat egg whites and cream of tartar on high speed, until soft peaks form.
Gradually (no really or else it will clump)sprinkle in sugar, 1 TBSP at a time, beating until sugar is completely dissolved and stiff glossy peaks have formed.
Fold in coconut until thoroughly combined.
Place into a piping bag, and pipe out round discs to your size liking. I went about the size of a small soup can top.
Bake 1 hour or until dry. Remove to rack to cool.

To assmeble: Take a meringue and pipe some cream pie filling on top. Top that with a meringue and pipe some cream pie filling on top of that. Keep going till you get as high as you want. Keep going till your arm falls off, well maybe not. :) Top with fresh whipped cream and some extra coconut pieces.


  1. I read your blog because it makes me laugh and it makes me happy. I also LOVE your recipes and have tried quite a few (much to my waistline’s dismay). I was browsing through your site the other day and read your post about having a “life sucker” as a friend and it reminded me that lately, with work being so stressful, that maybe I was starting to act like one of those people by whining everyday about how rotten work is (at least to my boyfriend)and I don’t want to be.So I’m working extra hard at not being one. And I made him some banana nut muffins. : ) So thanks! (he thanks you too)

  2. Lindsay Erwin says:

    I read you because you’re real. I mean, you are charismatic and popular and awesome and you make me laugh with what you write and I love your recipes, but you are just … real. I wrote you an email and friend requested you on FB about living in Korea and eating sweet garlic bread and you totally responded. You didn’t even know me, but yet I think you saw my appreciation for food and my ability to laugh about it. Reading your blog makes me feel like I know you. That’s what matters.
    Thank you. Keep on doin’ what you do because I’ll always be reading …

  3. I read your blog b/c the “real” you seems to come across …your wit, your sarcasm, etc. I may not agree with everything you say, but it least you have the guts to say how you feel. And the baked treats aren’t bad either, although most are a little complicated for my style of baking!

  4. I accidently found your blog- I read one story/recipe and i was hooked.
    You talk about life in a way we can all relate- and then you break your baking down into the same terms- its down to earth and realistic…. and we never know what your going to go on about next & what food the newest rant will be created.. LOL

  5. I read your blog because I think you are funny and love the way you relate life and food.
    I am a dual citizen-Canadian and US and I am torn between the two countries, I love to hear your take on those things.
    Your pictures are great and the food is fabulous.

  6. Hmmmm why do I read your blog….well mostly because your witty, funny, take good pictures and all your recipes sound tasty:) Who the hell cares if you make fattening food? Don’t freaking make the recipe if you don’t like it. I once got hate mail because I apparently used a recipe that called for way too much butter. Screw that. I love butter and it seems as if you love it too…which is another reason I love you blog :)

  7. I came for the food porn but I stayed for the stories. Your humorous take on life and the ability to laugh at yourself is wonderful to read about.

    BTW, even though I gain 10 lbs just reading your recipes, I think they are still wonderful.

    Keep up the good work!

  8. I’ve been “with” you for a very long time and just love the way you write, it’s fresh, fun, serious and always delicious.
    thank you for your voice.
    This coconut creation looks like heaven to me.

  9. I read to understand how someone could love hockey and not be a Red Wings fan… just kidding.

    I love your stories and how they relate to food. I found you through theNest or something and have been hooked for years. You inspire me to actually take the time to make things myself.

  10. How do I love thee blog, let me count the ways: unintentional humor, intentional humor, quirky stories, lack of transitions, great photos, more great photos, fun ideas, makes me feel welcome to your life’s party.

  11. You are a writer…and sometimes its about food, but mostly it is just plain fun to read. The food photos actually are my equivalent of window shopping. I can’t always afford the calories, but I can enjoy what you have made and the amazing creativity of your way with sugar and fat laden foods. Don’t change a thing! These look like more fun to eat than pie, too!

  12. I read your blog because a lot of the time the writing is pretty humorous and the pictures are yummy!

  13. What a great twist on coconut cream pie – love it!

  14. I read because you ARE different, because you are creative and make me think of interesting twists (or wish I could), and you always have good stuff. Some I like more than others, but that’s true of most anyone (even you, since you sometimes make things for others that you don’t love). You’re my go-to for some eye-catching marvel of sweet stuff.
    Like this recipe – I wouldn’t have given it a second thought by the name, but seeing it, and realizing what’s going on, I might have to try it after all!

  15. I was just talking to my husband about this. “I am not a writer,” sayeth I. “But you write,” he said. “That makes you a writer.”
    “Yes, I said, but sometimes a lemon is just lemony.”

  16. I starte reading you because I happened upon you one day looking for a cookie recipe on Google and landed here.

    I KEEP reading you because you’re sarcastic and funny and don’t really care what people think when it comes to a lot of things, which I admire in people.

    Oh yeah, and you make good food…

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