The post I didn’t want to write…


Saying goodbye is never an easy thing (no the blog is not ending) and sadly there have been a lot of goodbyes in my life as of late. Today I baked my last loaf of bread in my beautiful kitchen. Now, I can come and bake bread in it if I so desire, but this was the last loaf baked in what would be considered my kitchen. And with a heavy heart I baked it. Rolling out my dough for the last time against my cool granite island made for a mixture of emotions. Happy to be baking bread, but mourning the loss of the kitchen that I loved to bake in. I’ve made many a wonderful baked good in that kitchen and it will be missed.
In case you haven’t caught on, the picky eater and I are no longer. I’m not going into details, as though I know many people feel they know me because of my blog, let us remember that we don’t really know me (well except for those who stalk me :P ). We are still friends (I know people say that, but really we are, heck, we are going out to eat together on Saturday). But as amicable as it is, it is never an easy thing.
Though bread never gets many a comment on my blog, I still chose it to represent my last baked good in my kitchen. Number one because apartment ovens suck and I now have to bake in one. Number two because people fear baking bread. Fear of the unknown is what causes the most stress in my life right now. Yeast bread is a great reminder that though often you can try and it turns out bad (though usually still taste good), when it does turn out, oh my, do you have a great loaf a bread. I’m hoping in my future that my life makes more good loaves than bad. But if I don’t try, I will never know. And number three…though bread is time consuming, bread is simple. A simple batard and a little butter can really improve your day. Trust me. And this girl could use a little simple right about now.
Like I said in the beginning, this blog is not going anywhere. It will definitely be more budget friendly baking (as I am on an extreme one now) and will most likely feature the joys of half-baked on one side and half burnt on the other apartment oven baking. :P

I’m not actually typing out the recipe. I used this one that the awesome Andrea Meyers made, and she adapted it from Zoe. Both blogs, that if you don’t read you should.

Comments

  1. So sorry to hear that! My parents are divorced so I kinda know what you’re going through…((hugs))
    Your bread looks delicious, bread has always been my weakness. Looking forward to things you make in your new kitchen.

  2. Somehow I knew.

    I know this sounds silly, but your comments about changes, difficulties, beginning to teach again–even before I read this post, when I saw “the last” I knew what it was about.

    So I know that we don’t know one another, truly, but I do read and feel for you, as a reader, and my heart goes out to you. You’re a very strong person, but I hope you know that all of your readers are there with you, through all of the things that you’re going through right now…

    Budget-friendly baking sounds AWESOME, to be honest, and I love hearing crazy teacher stories.

  3. This stranger from Calgary says Sorry.

  4. SO sorry to hear what you are going through, very tough, so many changes.

    I live in an apt with very small kitchen and have managed to make so many of your recipes successfully. Times are tough but each change in life makes us stronger and better.

  5. I’m sorry to hear that’s what you’ve been going through. I don’t comment all that often, but I wish you well.

  6. Aww honey I’m sorry. I’m going through a divorce too, so I hate to hear that it’s happening to you. Stay strong and keep cooking, like you said, bread always works.

  7. Christina says:

    I’m sorry to hear this and admire your courage and strength. Best wishes

  8. So sorry Peabody. If anybody can get through this it’s a tough as nails hockey player with a ready supply of chocolate. Keep your chin up, let us know if we can help with the chocolate fund.

  9. sorry to see you are having a rough time… chin up – things will get better :) and apartment ovens can really pump out some great treats, especially when someone as talented as u is the mastermind :)

  10. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I know I don’t know you, but I like you. :O)

    Take care of yourself, snuggle your doggie. All will be well. One day soon.

  11. I don’t pretend to know you either but I adore your blog, and know that your spirit will shine in any imperfect kitchen, with any quirky oven. In fact, letting the stress of the picky eater go might open up new avenues in the baking. Well, you just never know. We’ll be waiting!

  12. i don’t comment a lot, but had to say to you that you will get thru this. time, lots time, and things do get better.
    whether or not that helps you i don’t know. but when i had a big change in my life once a dentist once told me to ‘completely look at it as a new adventure in life–something new you get to do”
    true, and if you ‘keep’ looking at it that way it works.
    :-)

  13. From a complete lurking stranger (who has been a longtime fan for a few years now!) I still felt sad to hear your news and hope that you are doing ok.
    If it helps any, I have a totally crap oven, but have managed to negotiate with it lower temps and less cooking times to avoid burnt disasters.

    With the bad, good comes too, I hope some good comes your way soon x

  14. Sorry to hear that, Pea. When you’re ready, I have a friend who’s a great guy with a great job… :-)

  15. Sorry about the relationship, but darn that bread looks good. I have done my share of bread baking and while it is very tasty, no one but me wants to use it for sandwiches. Buttered and warm to go along with spaghetti, yep they are all for it, but sliced to make a sandwich, nope. I even slice it ahead of time so they don’t have to.
    I’ll have to check out those to blogs and see what yummy bread recipes they have.

  16. I maybe the only one who says this to you here, and I’m not being judgemental,cuz I don’t know you or him, but if there is any way possible to reconcile your marriage I pray that you will. It isn’t something that should be tossed away like a burnt cake. Like I said, not trying to judge, don’t know you- but I do know that being married is hard, takes great sacrifice on both sides. My heart truly breaks for you.

  17. Donna- I did not enter marriage thinking I was getting divorced. And I am not entering divorce thinking I am getting back together. I can assure you, I didn’t just wake up one day and think, hey, I’ll get divorced.

  18. Thanks Tim, I’ll keep that in mind. :) Hopefully he likes hockey.

  19. Hugs to you.

  20. I’m so sorry to hear that. That really sucks :( . You will bounce back though :) .

  21. Just so sorry to hear this but I know with you life and baking goes on! ***hugs***

  22. You’re an amazing, witty, talented, caring person…and a FABULOUS baker (and blogger). I can only hope that it’s for the best and that your new kitchen will quiclky become a place of comfort.

  23. I’m so sorry to hear your news, Peabody. If anyone can turn out an amazing loaf of bread (and a bajillion other amazing baked goods) in a crappy apartment oven, it’s definitely you.

  24. All personal business aside – that is a beautiful loaf of bread – and I enjoyed your reasons for baking it. Yeast breads do scare me but I hope that I get bigger and better each time I make one(well, not really the bigger part – but you know what I mean).

  25. Thinking of you!!

  26. So sorry! Hoping that you get a great, recently installed oven in your new digs. :)

  27. Hugs to you. Sometimes life sucks, but then we bake fantastic bread that becomes awesome bread pudding and all is right again in the world.

  28. Oh, goodness! I’m so sorry. I just hate that for both of you. No matter how friendly the “parting” is, I imagine there is a part of you that feels like it’s missing. I hope that the kneading of this dough helped to massage some of your emotions as well.

    I admit, I had to laugh at the comment of having half baked, half burned goods coming through. I definitely have experienced that at my apartment…sometimes even within one muffin! Beautifully baked on top, burned on the bottom. :-)

  29. Christine says:

    I’m so sorry. :( And I wish both you and the picky eater all the best. You’ll get through this, but it’ll be hard for a while…

    And good luck with your new kitchen. I’m looking forward to see what you’ll make in there. :)

  30. Hey Peabody,

    Like you said, we don’t actually know each other. But I want to let you know that I’ve been through what you’re trudging through right now. It sucks. You have ups and downs. Eventually, the ups will overcome the downs.

    I know it might not be exactly what you want to hear right now, but just put this in the back of your mind for the time when your heart is ready to accept it–it does get better. You will learn things about yourself you didn’t realize and you will become a stronger person than you already are. You will, one day, be happier than you could’ve ever imagined. And “one day” will come sooner than you think it will.

    I hope these words help. Maybe you’re not ready for them today, but they’re here in this comment stream for the day you are ready. Because, one day, you will be.

    Hugs and beer to you.

  31. In the real world I hand out hugs when I don’t know what to say. I do that here too. *hug*

  32. I’m sorry. Best of wishes to you.

  33. piday, from one MM to another, or was it WC? (Too long ago to remember now) I am so sorry to hear this. Big hugs going your way.

  34. I am sorry to hear about your hard times. However, I’m looking forward to reading your budget friendly baking tips from you!! From someone who has been divorced twice -Keep going. Eventually, the going gets easier.

  35. Pamela L. says:

    Peabody, you’re right that we don’t “really” know you. Yet as I read your post and the comments that follow, my tears are real and my heart breaks for you…

  36. I am very sorry. Very sorry.

    <3

  37. You don’t know me at all, but I felt compelled to add this, because I too was forced to leave a beautifully outfitted kitchen for a crumby apartment one. In my case, it was due to financial reversals. I won’t tell you it doesn’t suck, it does, and after cooking in a Wolf oven (two of them), I can’t stand the sight of my tiny Kupper. Still, change brings with it positive elements. It forces you to grab the steering wheel. You think about doing things and taking chances you never would have dreamed of. Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. But it will take time.

  38. So incredibly sorry to hear the sad news. Big hugs from a stranger out East.

  39. I’m currently in culinary school and during my first pastry class the chef was explaining how to properly make meringues. Of course, this was using a gas oven. So I asked, “What if you have an electric oven?” He replied, “Buy a gas one.” I’m pretty sure my apartment complex would throw a fit if I set up a propane tank to fuel a gas oven. But, it may work for you :)

  40. Hugs and sympathy. Great bread analogy and lovely bread.

  41. Just hugs.

  42. So very sorry to read about your sad news. In reading your blog I feel like you are a friend, so I am sending you hugs and wishes that the New Year will be a wonderful start to your new, exciting life. Just remember, one day at a time. Be good to yourself.

  43. Dearest Peabody
    I have been there myself, it is a difficult journey, one of which you will need many good loaves of bread…thinkng of you..wishing you only good and positive thoughts….

  44. Aw, bummer. ;)
    I think you’re awesome and wish you happiness in the holidays and much peace and love as you begin a new year!

  45. Peabody,

    Your blog has been a joy for me to read in the past few years- just as you’ve brought happiness to my procrastination-filled afternoons, I hope that the myriad of comments you receive on this post make you happy as well =)

    (I thought about you the other day too, because I made cookies with caramelized sugar- delish, girl! What a great idea!)

    Anyway, good luck with everything, can’t wait to see what other delicious goodies this blog has in store.

    Praying for you!

  46. I will admit I feel like I know you after reading your posts over the past few years. Though we don’t actually know each other, I just wanted to send you some good thoughts on this, the last day of bread baking in your kitchen. May your future be filled with more counter space and better ovens!

  47. sigh. don’t know what to say, just hug you.

    (I still have three boys on offer, a bit young but still.. Although oldest has a girlfriend now but she hasn’t seen a kitchen up close. Ever. I’d love me someone who bakes like you to share fun in the kitchen. (Hey, I’ll even share my oven. No?)
    ;-)

    Hang in there sweetie.

  48. I know you don’t want stalker-y people, and I’m not even going to try to sympathise. All I can say is.. sending you a million hugs, and I hope things get better for you soon!

    xoxoox

  49. My heart breaks with yours. So sorry to hear your news today. I pray that as the holidays come around you will find Peace, Hope, and Joy despite the difficulties that you’re facing. We all care about ya! Peace.

  50. I hope I’m not stepping on your toes here, Peabody, and I hope I’m not starting unnecessary drama on your blog. However, I just can’t keep my mouth shut to Donna.

    Donna, I am trying to assume you had positive intentions with your comments to Peabody. However, the decision has already been made and what she needs most right now is support. If you don’t have any supportive comments for her, perhaps you shouldn’t comment. Peabody’s life right now is jumbled enough without people preaching to her and trying to make her feel guilty.

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