The post I didn’t want to write…


Saying goodbye is never an easy thing (no the blog is not ending) and sadly there have been a lot of goodbyes in my life as of late. Today I baked my last loaf of bread in my beautiful kitchen. Now, I can come and bake bread in it if I so desire, but this was the last loaf baked in what would be considered my kitchen. And with a heavy heart I baked it. Rolling out my dough for the last time against my cool granite island made for a mixture of emotions. Happy to be baking bread, but mourning the loss of the kitchen that I loved to bake in. I’ve made many a wonderful baked good in that kitchen and it will be missed.
In case you haven’t caught on, the picky eater and I are no longer. I’m not going into details, as though I know many people feel they know me because of my blog, let us remember that we don’t really know me (well except for those who stalk me :P ). We are still friends (I know people say that, but really we are, heck, we are going out to eat together on Saturday). But as amicable as it is, it is never an easy thing.
Though bread never gets many a comment on my blog, I still chose it to represent my last baked good in my kitchen. Number one because apartment ovens suck and I now have to bake in one. Number two because people fear baking bread. Fear of the unknown is what causes the most stress in my life right now. Yeast bread is a great reminder that though often you can try and it turns out bad (though usually still taste good), when it does turn out, oh my, do you have a great loaf a bread. I’m hoping in my future that my life makes more good loaves than bad. But if I don’t try, I will never know. And number three…though bread is time consuming, bread is simple. A simple batard and a little butter can really improve your day. Trust me. And this girl could use a little simple right about now.
Like I said in the beginning, this blog is not going anywhere. It will definitely be more budget friendly baking (as I am on an extreme one now) and will most likely feature the joys of half-baked on one side and half burnt on the other apartment oven baking. :P

I’m not actually typing out the recipe. I used this one that the awesome Andrea Meyers made, and she adapted it from Zoe. Both blogs, that if you don’t read you should.

Comments

  1. @ Donna – I can’t imagine that anyone makes such a decision lightly. And if they do, they shouldn’t be in that relationship to begin with.

    @ Peabody – no matter what ANYONE has to say…stay true to yourself.

  2. I am truly sorry to hear you’re going through this. I hope things get better for you soon.

  3. so sorry to hear that you are going to this at such a hard time of year–hugs & prayers that all goes smoothly as possible!

  4. Pea, so sorry to hear about what you’re going through, especially at this time of the year. Relationships are so difficult, but I’m sure you will surpass this sad time and get through it with family and friends’ support.

    This beautiful loaf of bread reminds me of the bread we grew up eating (Italian loaf), it looks so amazing I’m going to look up the recipe and bake it soon. Keep yourself well, and I’m glad you’re keeping the blog going, I would miss reading it.

  5. Just remember making bread is like riding a bike, you never forget. Change in ones life must come or we go stale like that loaf of bread if it just sits on the shelf. Glad the blog is staying and looking forward to new and wonderful things in your baking and in your life. For my Christmas wish for you is that the changes you are going through be positive and that your new year be blessed with health, happiness and wealth. Plus wonderful recipes I am sure you will share. Hugs Paulette

  6. hang tough…you are strong!
    wishing you the very best!!!

  7. I just read this today and I want you to know (even though you don’t know me) that I’m thinking about you and wishing you the best. There is a sisterhood that is present in your blog, and though you might never meet us, we are surrounding you with love. May you always remember this, especially when you feel alone.

    Best wishes,

    Pat

  8. I’m sorry.

  9. Peabody, all I can say is that I am terribly sorry for your struggles. I know these things are difficult and I wish you all the best (and happiness) life has to offer.

  10. *hugs* I’m so sorry – stay strong and I hope you feel better soon.

  11. I am SOOOO sorry to hear this. Sending good thoughts your way during this difficult time.

  12. Heather Hughes says:

    I love your blog. You are really gifted at baking and writing. I don’t know if I’ve ever commented, but I just thought you should know!

  13. Oh cr*p. I’m another lurker/stranger who doesn’t know you, but I’m really sorry to hear about this. Thanks for your dignity and positive attitude. You _will_ cope and cook great things in a tiny apartment kitchen, and I’m glad you’re keeping your blog — it’s one of the first food blogs I followed, and I still love to read it.

  14. So sorry. Wishing you well.

  15. Sorry to hear that. You’re def one of my favorite bloggers. I do feel like I *know* you because of this blog, so you’ll be in my thoughts. Hang in there.

  16. Sorry to hear of your sadness. Hope brighter days are ahead for you.

  17. Oh honey. I’m so sorry. Having lived through a messy break-up and divorce, I know this is a very difficult time. You are welcome to bake in my (Viking) stove any time. My thoughts are with you.

  18. Peabody _ I am so sad for you! I know I don’t “know” you, but that doesn’t make it any less sad. I am sending good, good thoughts your way.

  19. Hugs to you, Peabody! Even though I don’t know you, I wish you nothing but the best.

  20. So sorry you are going through a rough spot now!

  21. Beautiful post (despite the topic). Thoughts are with you during this change in your life.

  22. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share. I wish you all the best in the days ahead.

  23. First – I hope things work out the way you want them too.

    Two – I’m sorry that you have to leave your kitchen. That is never easy.

    Three – The bread looks amazing. I have yet to make bread. I don’t know why. It intimidates me.

  24. Haha I should have wrote one instead of first…I sound like a moron.

  25. Aw shit, Pea. I haven’t been reading ANY blogs lately and just caught wind of this. I’m sorry, hon. I must say, you’re a hell of a gal – you deal better than mosts folks. I’m glad it wasn’t one of those that required restraining orders, but I am still sad. Sending you a great big hug. xo

  26. This could have been something I wrote today (except I don’t have a blog).

    All we can do is hang in there…pretty much sucks though, I know.
    Thanks for your blog and all the recipes and the laughs.

    Good Luck

  27. Chiffonade says:

    I don’t know you but fully understand the toughness of the situation. As hard as we try, we sometimes cannot save a relationship. I get from your post that this might have been stewing for a while and it was likely a hard road for you both to travel. At least you can be civil to one another to the point of being able to dine together BY CHOICE.

    The days ahead will be strange with habits and daily rituals that have become rote changing and morphing into what will be your NEW life.

    I wish you luck and must say, your “final” baked good was (whether intended or not) a profound choice. First, it’s beautiful, perfectly executed and baked. Subsequently, bread is the foundation for so many good things we put on our table, it speaks well that it is not only the final baked good you offer from this particular kitchen but the FIRST of many more to come as you rediscover yourself.

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