To look at my dog you would think, what a sweet looking puppy. But don’t let her looks fool you. There lies underneath all the cuteness, the heart of a ruthless killer. Day in and day out my dog tries to kill me. I’m not totally sure why, as if she offs me, there is no one to put food in her dish. I’m sure her thought is that if she offs me, then she gets all the people food. Only problem is that people food is in the cupboards and refrigerator and well….opposable thumbs anyone? Something she seems to forget she needs those.

Lucky for me, as a professional killer, she kinda sucks. Well, not kinda, she really sucks. Because if she were any good at it, well, I’d be dead. And so far, I am not (that I know of, life has been weird lately, maybe I am and don’t know it?)

While making this pound cake, crazy cocker spaniel had yet another failed attempt to kill me. While moving a bowl of sifted powdered sugar around the kitchen, she did her (as well as many other killer dogs) signature move of trying to take my feet from underneath me. She succeeded. The bowl of powdered sugar went flying (I am still finding sugar in places I didn’t know it could go…it’s like a day at the beach with sand). Some of it ended up on her. She of course didn’t mind, and attempted to lick herself clean like a cat. Which didn’t work and I had to clean her up as well.

This cake has nothing to do with the dog, other than her trying to kill me while making it. The idea for it was one of those 3am pop in my head kind of ideas that I get from time to time. Since I am stuck on Elvis this week, the pound cake portion of the recipe is adapted from Epicurious…with the name Elvis’s Favorite Pound Cake; I figured just keeps the Elvis week flowing.

It’s a plain vanilla pound cake with a mascarpone-coffee filling. A few sprinkles of chocolate chips and then covered in chocolate glaze. My taste testers gave it two (opposable) thumbs up!

For those not a friend of my Facebook page, you really should be.  It’s a great place to ask me questions and witness my super boring life on a more day to day basis.

Tiramisu Pound Cake

For the Pound Cake Batter:

2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups sifted cake flour
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. salt
3 cups granulated sugar
5 large eggs, at room temperature 30 minutes
1 large egg yolk, at room temperature 30 minutes
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup heavy cream

Preheat oven to 350F.
Put oven rack in middle position, but do not preheat oven.
Generously butter 4 mini loaf pans (I use Chicago Metallic 5-3/4 by 3-1/4 by 2-1/4-inch) and dust with flour, knocking out excess flour. Or use baking spray…I did.
Sift together sifted flours (3 cups) and salt into a bowl.
Beat together butter and sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer at medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes in a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment or 6 to 8 minutes with a handheld mixer.
Add eggs/ yolk 1 at a time, beating well after each addition, then beat in vanilla.
Reduce speed to low and add half of flour, then all of cream, then remaining flour, mixing well after each addition. Scrape down side of bowl, and then beat at medium-high speed 5 minutes. Batter will become creamier and satiny.
For the Mascarpone-Coffee Filling:
8 ounce Mascarpone cheese, at room temperature
½ cup granulated sugar
3 TBSP all-purpose flour
1 tsp. granulated instant coffee (I used Starbucks Via)
1 egg
In a medium mixing bowl, combine all the mascarpone-coffee filling ingredients; beat until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Set aside.
Pour half of the pound cake batter evenly into the four prepared loaf pans (after you have distributed all to all four, there should be half the batter left). Spoon mascarpone mixture on top of pound cake layer and spread evenly. Sprinkle with chocolate chips.
Then distribute the remaining pound cake batter evenly among the four pans.
Bake for 50-60 minutes. Keep checking once you hit the 50 minute mark. You might have to cover with foil for the top to not get too dark. Once cool, top with chocolate glaze.
Chocolate Glaze:
6 TBSP unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
Milk to thin (I think mine was about ¼ cup)
Whisk all ingredients together in a bowl. Glaze cakes.
Pound Cake recipe adapted from Epicurious.com

Back when I was in high school everyone had pins. I was a product of the 80’s so some of them said things like Gag Me with a Spoon, As If, and other cheesy 80’s sayings. Throughout the years certain ones rotated, except two. I had the same two on my backpack all throughout high school. One said: Lizards, they’re not just for breakfast anymore. Which is true, I find they make better appetizers than breakfast. And the second one: Elvis Lives.

I think my little quirk about Elvis came from my uncle, Uncle G. He has a habit of trying to find the tackiest Elvis memorabilia he can find. Which of course my poor aunt has to endure and is soooo not a fan of.

It kind of became a little treasure hunt of sort over the years for the rest of the family. The Elvis clock that has his hips swivel back and forth. The refrigerator dress Elvis magnets. The velvet paintings. Sadly, I found the best painting ever when I lived back in AZ. There at a street fair one time was a 6ft velvet painting of Elvis. And not the young, attractive Elvis, the older years Elvis. Dressed as a bullfighter. Crying. Oh how I wanted to buy that painting. Cost aside, I really just couldn’t figure how to get it into my car or how to ship it. And then there was the whole, how can I avoid my aunt killing me the next time she sees me. Don’t get me wrong, she is not the bad guy in all of this. If you could see the fine collection he has, you too would not be wanting anymore of it in your house. I mean, did you know they make Elvis wine? I do…I sent him some.

Besides from his obvious singing career, Elvis was known for some of his more bizarre eating choices. Have that many drugs, you’d be coming up with interesting food choices too. Thank goodness, he was a he and not a she. Because if Elvis ever got knocked up, I would hate to see what he would have eaten then. He was known for eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Some people say with bacon. Some people say with bacon and mayo. Some people say with marshmallow fluff. Some people claim the bananas are sliced, some say mashed. Whatever. Peanut Butter and Banana were the constant that people agree on.

If Elvis were living today (which some may still think he is ) I would make him these cupcakes. The cake and filling recipe are adapted from one of my all-time favorite cupcake sites, Cupcake Bakeshop. Interestingly enough I don’t really get excited about the flavor combos she does, but I love her actual individual recipe for things. She is back to blogging and that makes me oh so happy. Anyway, these are her banana cupcakes as well as a thinner version (in consistency, not calories) of the peanut butter filling. The marshmallow fluff frosting is sweet, but not too bad. It will get soft on you…as marshmallow fluff can run a little. Keep them in the fridge and take out to come to room temperature to serve.

Reminder that if you aren’t a fan of CCbP on Facebook you should be. Today we discussed Valentine Candy Corn (my breakfast) as well as a lovely email I got from a reader. You are missing out.

Peanut Butter Filled Banana Cupcakes with Marshmallow Fluff Frosting

Banana Cupcakes
makes 22-24 cupcakes
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
3 medium bananas, mashed
1/2 cup buttermilk
3 large eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350F.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.
Using a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, mix banana and buttermilk until the banana is broken up.
Combine banana/buttermilk, eggs, vegetable oil, and vanilla. Beat on medium-high speed until well incorporated.
Fold dry mixture into the wet mixture; make sure all the ingredients are mixed. These are not muffins so you want them fully mixed.
Scoop out into cupcake papers.
Bake at 350 degree oven for ~20-22 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean (start checking after 20 minutes).

Peanut Butter Filling

4 ounces or 1/2 package of Philly cream cheese

1 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups sifted powdered sugar
1 TBSP vanilla extract
4 TBSP milk

Beat cream cheese and peanut butter until combined.
Add powdered sugar and vanilla and beat until combined.
Add the milk and beat until combined.

Both cupcake and filling recipe are from CupcakeBlog.com
Marshmallow Fluff Frosting
2 (7ounce) jars marshmallow fluff
1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ½ tsp. vanilla extract
2 ¾ cup powdered sugar
Using a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, beat together the butter and marshmallow until fully combined.
Add the vanilla, and 1 cup of powdered sugar. Blend until combined. Add another cup, and then blend. Scrape down bowl. Add remaining ¾ cup of sugar.

To assemble:
You can either use the cone method or the lazy (the way I did it) where you just shove the metal tip into the cake and pipe the filling until the cupcake looks like it might explode.
Follow with frosting. These need to be refrigerated. But bring to room temperature before serving.

So I just wanted to show everyone that I stayed true to my word and made my gingerbread house. I originally wanted to make a Groundhog Day one, but there isn’t a lot of ground hog day candy out there…except to make the ground hog out of. So I went with Valentine’s theme. And even though I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day (it’s so not fair to men), I do love Valentine Day décor. I think it’s all the pink. I love me some pink. I must say that it was just as fun, if not more fun to decorate the gingerbread house this time of year. No pressure to get it done. I just sat there watching cheesy romantic 80’s movies and making myself sick on conversation hearts. BTW, when did “email me” become a romantic saying?
The theme of my Love Shack was Love Yourself. No, not in the “no mom, don’t come in my bedroom” 14 year old boy love yourself kind of moment. But in the Whitney Houston greatest love of all loving yourself kind of way.
I don’t actually remember the day or the year it happened, but I remember the moment. Which is odd, but consider the source…me. I was watching Oprah (before I started to dislike her) and she had on Mariel Hemingway. I wasn’t really interested in what she was saying but she got on the subject of body image and how much she used to hate herself. Here sat this very pretty woman, with a very famous father talking about how much she used to hate her body. And what she said next stayed with me till this day. I remind myself of it any time negative self-image talk creeps into head. She said, “Would you say to your best friend what you say to yourself?” You wouldn’t go around calling your best friend a cow and mooing at her while you held her stomach in your hand. You wouldn’t call her thunder thighs. You wouldn’t tell her that she was ugly. You wouldn’t tell her she was fat. And yet, I suspect that most of the people reading this blog have said that to themselves at some point in their life…maybe even this morning. We need to learn to be our own best friends.
Why is it that self-loathing is more than acceptable, but self-acceptance is either denial or being stuck up? Telling people you are awesome or pretty is considered a no-no. But telling people you feel fat or your face looks like a pizza is totally acceptable. How did we allow this to happen? How did this become the standard?
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not about over inflating ones ego or telling people they are good at something when they are not. I mean clearly American Idol has taught us that there are some people who think they are awesome at singing and they are not. I am not. I can literally get my dog to cover her ears when I sing. I don’t believe in the everyone gets a ribbon in sports crap to make kids feel good about themselves. Feeling good comes from accomplishing things. Just showing up and breathing while there, really doesn’t deserve a ribbon. A little adversity makes you a better person. Promise. But no harm comes from thinking you are attractive. No harm comes from celebrating all that your body can do; instead of focusing that you have cellulite on your thighs (buy Photoshop, and just like the celebrities that use it, you won’t have it either).
Each one of us has something to offer. Maybe you haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe you have. Stop hating. Start loving…Yourself.
In my frenzy of buying Valentine candy, I bought a bunch of heart shaped marshmallows. Which I used one. So that basically left me with two bags of strawberry, heart shaped marshmallows. So bust out the Rice Krispies. If you like the flavor of Nestle Strawberry Quick, then these is the marshmallows for you. Since they are on the sweet side, I decided to add freeze dried strawberries to give a balance of sweet and tart in these. They went over really well with the referees that they were given to. I bought mine at Trader Joe’s. But my guess is that your more healthy grocery stores most likely carry them as well. They are a fun and festive Valentine treat.

Love Yourself Strawberry Rice Krispie Treats

16 ounces Strawberry flavored marshmallows
6 TBSP unsalted butter
9 cups Rice Krispie cereal (or knock off)
1 cup freeze dried strawberries

Butter a 9-x-13-x-2-inch pan. Or be lazy like me and use baking spray.
Over low heat melt 6 TBSP butter in a large pot (I like to use my stock pot because I am a messy person).
Once butter has melted, add marshmallows. Continue to cook over low heat while they melt. It may take a little time. Don’t turn up the heat to try and make it go quicker, you could end up with burned marshmallows or your treats could end up too hard once they firm up
When most of the marshmallows have melted and they resemble marshmallow crème with a few lumps, remove from heat and add the cereal and sprinkle in freeze dried strawberries (try not to dump those all in one place).
Using a wooden spoon, stir, stir, stir some more, until all the cereal is fully coated and other parts of the pot are not hogging all the marshmallows (so evenly coated).
Pour into prepared baking pan. Take a rubber spatula and either spray it with non-stick spray or simply get some water on it (I just put mine under the faucet real quick). Using the spatula, press the cereal/marshmallow mixture down into the pan, attempting to create a flat, even surface.
Cover with foil and let sit for a few hours to firm up.
Take foil off. Place wax paper down that is a little bit longer than the baking pan. Flip the pan over onto the wax paper. Cut into squares. Some would say 2-inch. But whatever size you would like works. You can also use cookie cutters to make them fun shaped.

Recently my friends and I got into a discussion about the song, F*cking Perfect by P!nk. My friend started the conversation with admitting that she chose the radio edit version to download, and because of that she felt like an Old Fogey. It’s not that she was against swear words in songs, just this one, as P!nk is talking to her unborn daughter in the song and she felt it was “ gratuitous and unnecessary in the overall context of the song”. I of course disagreed.
Now I am not for swearing just to swear. And some may be appalled at the idea of a mother dropping the F-bomb to their child. But here’s the thing, that’s her. That is who she is. If you have ever seen an interview with her, she cannot make it through without swearing, specifically the F-bomb. Her daughter will most likely be as foul mouthed as her. And oddly enough I respect her for it. She makes zero apologies for who she is. Some may find it odd that I respect Ann Coulter as well. Don’t get me wrong, I hate her and everything she stands for and find her to be one of the most vile people and a complete waste of air space (no, Peabody, tell us how you really feel)…but having said all that, you always know where she stands. There is no pretending to be fair or impartial, she tells it how she feels it. There is not passive-aggressive subtleness on her end.
I on the other hand, am apparently subtle and passive-aggressive. Or at least that is what was implied a little while back ago. In the words of my mother, “have you met my daughter?” Most people who actually know me in real life laughed hysterical at this, I mean on the ground laughed at this. Because I’m that girl who always lets you know where you stand. I’m the brave one of the group that when you ask, do I look fat in this (which for the record, don’t do that), I pipe up. First I usually yell at the person for calling themselves fat. Then I move on and tell them it’s not flattering. Because really, that’s what you should be asking in the first place. Is this flattering on me? Not do I look fat in something. I’m the girl that tells you that your fly is down. That you have spinach between your teeth. That you were a bitch to your husband and he has a right to be mad. That’s me. The good side of that of course is that when I pay you a compliment, my friends know I really, truly mean it. None of this smoke up your ass stuff for me.
One thing I don’t apologize for is the use of cake mix. Now, I really only use two. One for Dump Cake because it can’t be made without boxed cake, and second is Funfetti. I love Funfetti cake. Yes, you can try to make it from scratch, but I find you cannot get that artificial cake flavor that I like. And yes, I like that flavor. It’s the same flavor of cake batter ice cream as well. I don’t really care who knows. So if you are one of those local source only folks, this recipe is so not for you.
The box of Funfetti cost me $.49 on sale. I bought 4 boxes. My bread was from Panera (which was also free), a couple eggs, half and half, cream, and sprinkles and I had me a great low budget bread pudding. The awesome things about the pudding are this:
1. Sprinkles!
2. It tastes like Funfetti but without the sweetness overkill.
3. You can’t help but smile while eating it.
4. Adults and kids alike will like it.
The only drawback is that somewhere in the middle of the bread pudding, when all of the sprinkles kind of meld together, it kind of turns well, blue-grey. It’s not pretty. But to that I say, top with whipped cream and more sprinkles and you should be good to go.
Just promise me that after eating the bread pudding you won’t go put on jeans and then ask someone if you look fat in them!

Funfetti Bread Pudding

10 ounces Funfetti Cake Mix
3 large eggs
1 egg yolk
1 ½ cup half and half
1 cup whipping cream (no heavy whipping cream)
1 loaf French Bread (or Challah)
Sprinkles

Preheat oven to 350F.
Butter a 8-x-8-inch baking pan.
Break the bread into pieces. Set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together the half and half, cream, and eggs. Add cake mix. You do not need sugar, as the cake mix already has that in there.
Whisk until fully incorporated.
Place a layer of bread pieces on the bottom of prepared pan. Add some sprinkles. Pour over a cup of the batter and squash the bread down. If you need more batter add some. You want all the bread soaked. The custard is way more thick than traditional bread pudding, since there is cake in there, you need to press kind of hard. Do another layer, add sprinkles. Add custard. Squash bread. Do this until your bread layer is level or just under the top of the pan. Make sure all the bread is soaked with the custard. Add some more sprinkles on top to be festive.
Place in a water bath (with the water coming ½ way up the 8-8-inch pan). Bake for 50 minutes. Remove from water bath and bake another 10-15 minutes. Keep checking.
This bread pudding is a little more dense and less custardy than my usually bread puddings. That is once again because there is cake in there. Mmm. I didn’t make a sauce. But a raspberry or a vanilla sauce might go nicely with it. I just topped mine with whipped cream and more sprinkles and it worked for me.