I only run when being chased…

Sunday my personal Facebook page was filled with many, many people I know running the St. Patty’s Day Dash. Recently there has been a resurge in my friends wanting to run in 5 or 10K’s with even a few venturing out into the marathon world. There are two types of people in my life who are runners: My friends who ran in junior high and high school and have always been runners (these people I can deal with), and then those who seemed to be having some sort of crisis in their life and they decide it will be awesome to run a 5K, then a 10K and so on. The second half of people are annoying. Really annoying. Now before you say have you ever done it…yep, been there, done that, hated that, got the t-shirt, and the free crap they give you in the bag afterwards…oh and the orange slices. I have just over twenty 5K’s in my repertoire and three 10K’s (truly stupid). And yes for the record, I was going through crisis; a break up with a boy that I thought for sure would be the one. And well, most of my friends running these 5K’s are either very unhappy with themselves or their life (mostly marriage).

I got sucked into doing them by friends who didn’t want to do it alone. People if you insist on running, don’t drag your poor friends into it and lie to them saying it will be something to do that is fun. It’s not fun. Or they tell their friends it will help them get in shape. Yeah, no offense, but the vast majority of my friends who took up running look the same way they did before they started. All of my friends, including me that have done the 5K bandwagon, get off of the bandwagon eventually. But in the meantime they just annoy the heck out of me. They work into their daily conversations how far they have run. I don’t annoy people with how many miles I have skated in a week, why do people think I give a crap about how far they ran that week? They post on Facebook the pictures of them with sweat matted to their beet red faces proudly displaying their medal. Don’t display your medal unless it actually means something. Did you come in first, second, or third? NO? Then don’t show me your participation ribbon/medal like the kind they give 3rd graders on Field Day. I don’t get a participation ribbon when I play in a hockey tournament…well I do, but it’s called a t-shirt, and you get one of those for running as well. If you have two legs and are healthy, put the ribbon in your pocket and walk away, a 5K isn’t that hard…if I can do that crap, anyone can.

Don’t get me wrong, if you are running and getting exercise that is awesome. But there is just something about recreational runners that drive me insane. None of my friends in a softball league tell me how long they stood on the dirt. No one who plays tennis I know tells me that their game lasted 37 minutes, down from 44 minutes. I went to the gym this morning and worked out on the elliptical. I didn’t go around telling people how long I was on the machine for or how many calories I burned. You know why…I exercise for me and me alone. So recreational runners of the world start running for yourself and not for the attention you are trying to gain. And for the love of God, stop trying to drag your poor friends on the bandwagon with you.

Fortunately for me, my best friend is also in the run if being chased only category. So he won’t be pulling me down into the let’s train together, won’t it be fun lie. And as a thank you to him for that, I made a version of Oatmeal Scotches. When I made the Butterscotch Blondies a few weeks back, he was all over them, and told me they reminded him of Scotchies, which he apparently loves. I learn something new every day. Now he knew I wasn’t just going to make Oatmeal Scotchies, as I always try and do something different on the blog, but I could tell he really wanted some version of them. So I made them in bar form, with just a little twist. Didn’t want to deviate too much. They were a big hit.

P.S. Yes, there are a lot of people who run, so I suspect I will get many a lovely comment. If you are going to bash me about running, please make sure to annoy me with how long you can run a mile in. :P And by the way, your non-running friends really do feel this way, they are just chicken, unlike me to tell you.

Oatmeal Scotchie Bars
1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
¾ cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup oats (pulverized in a food processor into powder form)
2/3 cup oats
1 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. baking soda
¼ tsp. salt
12 ounces Butterscotch Chips

Preheat oven to 350F. Spray a 9-by-13-inch pan with baking spray.

Using a stand mixer, cream together the butter and sugars. Beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Add eggs, one at a time and scrap down bowl after each addition. Add vanilla and beat another 30 seconds on medium-high.

Add the dry ingredients with the mixer on low speed, and mix until fully incorporated. Fold in butterscotch chips.

Dump into pan and spread batter evenly with a spatula (if it sticks, spray the spatula with baking spray).

Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until outer edges are brown and you can stick a wooden skewer in the middle and it comes out clean. Let cool on a wire rack. Serve with ice cream and butterscotch sauce for extra yumminess.


  1. I’d run to catch one of those scotchie bars ;)

  2. I will run after my dog, but fortunately for me he is a fat pug and can’t last much longer than I can…

  3. Haha I do love running and I DO write about it on my blog on occasion (but really because there is so little else interesting going on in my life and no one wants to hear about the diagnostic criteria for lupus or rheumatoid arthritis)…but I totally know what you mean about people who run just to talk about it. I’ll bring it up to my friends if asked, never other than that. It’s my thing, it’s for me, and that’s all there is to it.

    Now hand over an oatmeal scotchie. I’ll chase you for it.

  4. I’m one of those runners who have been running since junior high, and yeah, I never talked about it! When I was playing tournament tennis I never talked about my USTA rating.

    Still, there are people who would probably say the same thing about us food bloggers! I know there are people who LOVE food and recipe blogs, and some that just don’t get it!! :D

    I prefer a beer after a race. and a bar like this!

  5. @Kristina- more people eat food than run though. :P
    Though I will gladly tell people how long it took me to eat something. :)

  6. Yeah, I am talking more about my friends that seem to run right now because doing a 5K is the thing to do right now. Like what Hot Yoga was 2 years ago kind of thing.

  7. Why run when you can sit on your ass? I know what I’d rather do. These bars look yummy…I love me some butterscotch.

  8. Yeah, I’m not a runner, but I’d run for some of those bars!

  9. This post makes me feel so much better about the annoyance I’ve been feeling towards many of my friends who have caught this condition so you aptly describe in this post.

    It makes me feel like a bad person when I get annoyed by posts about how healthy they’ve been eating and how amazing it is that they ran X amount of miles. Over and Over.

    You’re my hero:) Keep up the good work.

  10. I’m a high school girl, and I guess I’m one of those runners you were talking about :) I only really talk about running when something new or exciting has happened, or with my friends who run as well.
    I’ve found that the people who talk about running the most actually don’t do it very often, they spend most of their time talking about it. They drive me bananas! But, whatever makes you happy :) I guess if running is something that makes you happy, then by all means go for it but if you’re doing it just to impress someone why not try baking them some sort of impressive dessert? I’m sure they will be much more thankful than hearing you go on and on about your most recent pr or speed session!
    Oh, and just for the record I can run a sub 5:30 mile on a good day :D

  11. @Lauren- you are not alone…I can assure you that my non-running friends, or my serious runner friends are driven crazy by this as well.

  12. So when I come up to Seattle to run my first half-marathon in June I shouldn’t try to suck you into running with me? Maybe we could grab afterward instead?

  13. Oh my goodness, I loathe running! Even if chased, I’ll find the first place to hide. Ugh, glad to know I’m not alone.

  14. @Erin- you can suck me into a beer instead! :) I’m excited you will be back up here. Miss you E!

  15. Oh, I agree. The only thing worse than listening to the braggy, life crisis runner is listening to the person who just got back from Europe for the first time!

    Also, these look FANTASTIC. Must remember to get some butterscotch chips at the grocery store next time!

  16. I ran to the store to grab ingredients for my St. Patricks Day dessert, but I wasn’t being chased…:)

  17. I look ridiculous running and there are people running on main roads who look just as stupid. The only difference is, is I know I look it and won’t do it, they may not be aware of how they look or just don’t care. I agree with you Peabody because a lot people now are running races because everyone else is jumping on the bandwagon and they don’t want to feel left out.

    You always tickle me with every post that you write. You’re a trip! Keep it coming!

    BTW the scotchie’s look yummy!

  18. @KJ- LOL- OMG the Europe thing is soooo true too! And what’s worse is the 75,000 photos of one castle they took and want to show you! :D

  19. Ooooh, these looks yummy. And I need another recipe to use the leftover butterscotch chips I had from making blondies last weekend :)

    By the way, I’m into running, sometimes though. But only on the tredmill, I don’t like running outdoors partically because I don’t like outside at all, but I do plan on running/fast walking a 10k this summer with my dad, so that should be interesting haha. But I agree with you, some of those pictures of the red sweaty faces are a little too much.

  20. I started running in October, after a friend implied I “couldn’t” run. Doing a half marathon in two weeks, and then burning the damn shoes and going back to biking, which my friends and I can do together, and have fun with. I’ve had to start PT because of running – that surely does not happen from proper funtime activities!

  21. You are way too funny!!
    I love your thoughts on exercise!!! You made me day!!

  22. those look delicious. but imho they need to be drizzled with some 70% cocoa dark choco to cut the sweet butterscotch..

    and my roommate is one of those people. she FINALLY quit smoking and is all about running now. every day its “i ran ___ minutes without stopping” and “did you know ___ has ___ calories in it?” i’m glad [at 30] she’s finally taking care of her health but i honestly don’t give a rat’s ass how many net calories she had yesterday.

  23. i run because a little over a year and a half ago i was morbidly obese- 260+ lbs at 5’6″ and running is the vehicle through which i was able to change the “i can’t” thought pattern in my head to an “i can”… and through this new frame of mind i have since lost over 100lbs, gotten out of my bad relationship, written/published a book and done loads of things that i never would have done if i hadn’t been able to change my thought patterns by taking up running. (yeah – i did the couch to 5k thing… though only ever did two 5ks) aaaaaand i know for a fact i’m one of those annoying people in your facebook stream who talks about running. but it’s the continuous need to set new more challenging goals that keeps us growing, right? and i happen to use facebook to share tidbits of things in my life that are sometimes meaningful, and more often pointless and rediculous, and for the last year and half running has fallen into both categories for me, sooooo unfortunately you’re gonna have to deal with more running posts from me on FB, because i’m not quitting either running or posting shit on FB anytime soon. ;)

    ps – i’d cut a bitch for like four of these scotchies right about now! YUM, double up, YUM YUM!

  24. @Amanda- I don’t think I have ever read one of your posts about running. I seem to only read the ones about beer. :)

  25. Lol- I know EXACTLY what you mean about those sometimes, or crisis runners, or whatever they are. SO annoying!

  26. The worst for me is the ppl I know on FB that always put “gyming it.” There is one guy on FB that has this as his status atleast 3-4 times a week, no joke. I go to the gym everyday but never advertise it. the thing is, everyone oes it, not just him. Maybe its just a Fl thing but its super annoying. lol

  27. I love your blog and your sarcasm but I have to defend those of us who are not in crisis but have recently taken up running and like to do the occosional 5k or 10k! :) I’m of the “not an athlete but can’t seem to lose the last few pregnancy pounds from 5 years ago so inspired by my real runner friends took up running and signing up for a 5k gives me a goal to work towards!” group…I don’t brag much about it because compared to my ultrarunner friend a 5k is a walk in the park but at the same time proud of myself for doing something good for me and helps counteract my LOVE for food!!

  28. I totally agree with you about the running thing……drives me bonkers.

  29. Love the post :). I’m a runner that does it for himself, if someone asks about it I’ll tell them. But I’m also not a marathon or public runner. I run on the road should I feel like it but mostly run on a treadmill. However, I would never recommend anyone else do it :)… let’s just say I really like to eat :). These bars look great, and if I can ever remember to buy buttersccotch chips this is high on the list. I always appreciate when someone turns a cookie into a bar recipe; all the flavour with none of the work :).

  30. I was laughing from start to finish of this post. I’m a runner – have been since high school – and even run throughout the winter, on dark, cold mornings! I always laugh at the “fair weather runners” who pop up again this time of year when I haven’t stopped running b/c, like you said, I do it for myself. I love it; it makes me feel “alive,” like my “best me” – maybe like hockey does for you? Anyway, I’m running a half-marathon this weekend that I tried to register for too late, so I won’t be getting a goody bag of crap, an ugly T-shirt, or even a medal (gasp)! But I’m still excited to run 13.1 miles and drink lots of beer afterwards. :) Anyway, thanks for putting into words thoughts I’ve had for years. :) Yours is one one of my favorite blogs!

  31. I loathe running. All my floppy parts that I want to ignore flap up and down and demand attention. I promise not to EVER bore you with how much I’ve run (unless it’s an amusing anecdote involving a bathroom, an out of order sign, and a stuck zipper)

  32. HA.. I used to be one of those annoying recreational runners, but I never got to the 5K thing at all. I was just all “I’m gonna go run my 5K around the neighbourhood and not participate in any of those organised races.” I have a thing against them, probably because I know I’m terribly slow and I hate feeling slow.

    Oh man… can you discuss triathlons next? That’s been a huge fad amongst my friends and it’s annoying the hell outta me. Oh look at me, I’m so good at running, biking, AND swimming! Look, I’m so hardcore! Omg….. Wow, I’m so snarky today.

  33. :) I run and I agree with you 100%!!! I don’t tell coworkers or friends about my running, because it isn’t their business and there is always someone that has to top you, no matter what.

    And yes, I too would run for one of those blondies! I would run over a few people to get one!

  34. I have a fear of running. I’m afraid that my legs will go so fast and out of control and i will fall down. But that won’t happen b/c I’m fat. So really I’m just lazy and like pie (and scotchie bars ;) )

  35. You crack me up, Peabody :) I love ya.

  36. I totally ran 7 gazillion miles today you guys
    I’m the best

    ps. seriously, I want to be strong and awesome and fast and jump over ****, but please tell me i can do that with a jump rope and occasional 5 minute jogs around the basketball court to warm up before stretching. Sometimes I just like to run at night for short periods dragging my bf along (literally), on the beach. It’s pretty great.

  37. and that is what i love about you, peabody! tunnel vision straight to the important stuff…ie beer! glad to know it’s not me who’s annoying the sh*t out of you on fb! ;)

  38. So this wouldn’t be the best time to tell you I’m doing Bay to Breakers in May? Walking though. No running with these knees. Getting in shape for me is a good thing and the marathon is great motivation. Oh who am I kidding…it also might have something to do with my 74 year old Aunt who asked me to walk with her. She is going to leave me in the dust….

  39. I’m not a runner but I would attempt it for one of these bars!

  40. OK #1 I MUST make these! My producer loved it the time I made Oatmeal Scotchie Cookies and brought them in. He’s really been getting on my nerves lately, and being mean (in a teasing way). If I make these, he’ll be nice. Maybe… Or at least he’ll stop trying to bang on my edit bay door/window and scare the shit out of me.

    And #2. I am going to email you my opinion on “recreational runners”. :::eyeroll:::

  41. Yanno, I think I probably couldn’t tell you what recipe is up right now because I’m still cracking up over this. Hilarious. I don’t run. I used to be able to sprint like there was no tomorrow, but that was a million years ago. I do walk, but try to avoid it on a daily basis. Does it count that I signed up for a 5k and then didn’t go? Hahaha!

  42. Thanks for telling me how my friends really feel about my new running endeavors. I feel like a right ahole.

  43. Thanks for telling me how my friends really feel about my new running endeavors. I feel like a real jerk.

  44. I’m with Amanda… I’m one of those in your annoying camp of FB/Twitter friends who chat up running too. Running is the *only* thing that keeps me from becoming morbidly obese, and I find that if I talk it up w/ other people, it helps me keep motivated to continue to run. And I find from comments that I end up (unintentionally… because I would never ask anyone to start running along with me) inspiring others to get off their ass and exercise. You’ll just have to manage to ignore my annoying tweeting ;) I WILL, however, bug you about grabbing a beer w/ me after my runs/races. How does that sound? ;) By the way… I ran 10 miles today!

  45. @Lori- smootches- you know I love you. And good for you for running 10 miles. I am glad you are inspiring others. However most of my friends want to chuck things at our runner friends. :) So they aren’t exactly inspired.
    I am always up for beer.

  46. Don’t forget runners always seem to lose their knees eventually…. makes me feel better about not regularly running :p

  47. Just got these out of the oven!! They smell delicious! Yum Yum Yum!


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