Poking fun at yourself…


Just as I suspected I did anger a few runners out there…though interestingly enough, not the people that are long time runners…most likely proving my point. :P But moving on. To show that I am a good sport and that people are way too serious I will now tell you what is wrong with hockey players.

1. They smell. No, I mean smell. The gear in most people’s bag smells so bad that when opened in a room it will usually strip the paint off the walls. Since they wear this gear, it rubs off on them. And though they shower, no matter how hard they try, you cannot get the glove smell off our hands. If you are a hockey player or live with one, you get used to the smell, most people, just like the truth…can’t handle it. :)

2. They get fatter once they move to recreational hockey. Well not all of them, but some of them. When in competitive hockey you tend to be young (unless you are a Red Wing), working out all the time, and eating fairly good. When you move to competitive hockey you drink a lot of beer, the game is your work out and well, you’re older.

3. Goalies are weird. But you have to be if you think standing in front of an 80 mph puck is fun. But then again, defensemen to that too. Goalies are crazy routine oriented. I once dated a goalie who wrote down everything he ate that day because if he had a good game, he would eat the same thing for the next game.

4. They are superstitious. Most of them get dressed in a certain order, which pads go on first. Some are over the sock people, some wrap their sock around the bottom of the skate heel (I do this). Some won’t change clothing when on a winning streak, etc., sadly, often including underwear and socks. Clearly not right in the head.

5. They swear… a lot. In fact, if you are a Canadian hockey player, you probably swear the most. I once read that the fine people of Canada have the market on swearing covered over any other country. Go us!

6. Many are missing teeth…and are okay with that.

7. Some have super crazy tempers and fly off the handle like they are 2 year olds in Wal-Mart holding out for a candy bar (I am not one of these players).

Of course there are good things about hockey players as well.

1. Most of them, even if out of shape, have good legs and butt…all that skating.

2. They are great drinking buddies.

3. Depending on what position they play, they are good in bed. Goalies are bendy (but weird). Forwards are usually all about themselves. So go for D-man (or woman…I play D :D ) as they are more giving to their partner. ;)

4. Most of them are just down right good people, who will help you in any way they can. Going through my divorce more than proved this. I had guys who skated with me years ago and hadn’t seen me for forever offering to help move me, brought boxes, helped put furniture together, etc…

If you haven’t guessed it, this is all in good fun. If you cannot make fun of yourself (and I don’t mean put yourself down) then take a quick trip to Laid Back Land. Nothing says fun to me like Funfetti. It’s on here a lot. It was 2 for $1 a couple of weeks ago. :) I saw this on my blog crush How Sweet It Is a few weeks ago and was all over it, she  just used regular cake batter, but we all know Funfetti is the way to go. I didn’t want the dark chocolate layer at all, so I just stuck with the white chocolate. I had grandiose ideas that I would use the bark as a cupcake topper of some sort. The bark never got that far. Oh my, I big puffy heart this stuff. I just love that artificial cake batter flavor…I know, it’s a sickness. Plus you get to use sprinkles. Sprinkle just make you happy. If I could decorate my hockey jersey with sprinkles I would!

Funfetti Bark

12 ounces high quality white chocolate

4 TBSP Funfetti Cake Mix (I would start with one TBSP and taste as you go along, every person has their preference as to how cake batter flavory you want it to be)

Sprinkles

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and spray lightly with baking spray.

Melt while chocolate. Whisk in cake mix slowly, stirring well until no lumps remain. Spread evenly as much as you can across baking sheet. This will not be perfect and the chocolate police will not come after you. :P Have fun and add as many sprinkles as you want to the top of the bark while it is still soft.

Move to fridge and let it set up for about 20 minutes. Remove from fridge and cut into pieces.

Adapted from How Sweet It Is

Comments

  1. Lovely barks!

    Cheers,

    Rosa

  2. It looks so lovely and I want some even though my teeth hurt just thinking about how sweet it probably is.

  3. She is my blog crush, too! Great job- looks awesome!

  4. Eeee! I am so glad you made this so someone else can share in the deliciousness. Funfetti was always my favorite cake too. Man.. I want to make some funfetti cupcakes today!

  5. Everybody loves funfetti — this is making me happy right now :) Thanks for the reminder not to take ourselves too seriously!

  6. It’s always refreshing to see someone that doesn’t take themselves too seriously. I know I don’t! I’m an engineer, and I’m blonde, so I have the opportunities on a nearly daily basis to poke fun at myself. Thank you for always providing a fresh perspective here (even if some people don’t like it!)

  7. Ooo soo pretty!

  8. Funfetti always=fun. And deliciousness :) .

  9. Funfetti is my favorite kind of cake and this bark is just calling my name!

  10. Okay, long time reader, first time commenter (I think). This bark looks amazing. I saw it on How Sweet It is a little while back and completely forgot about it!

    Also, just wanted to say that I absolutely love reading your blog. Most of the time with food blogs I just look at the pictures and read the recipe, but I find myself reading every word of your posts. I absolutely love your sense of humor!

  11. One of my best friends in college was an avid hockey player (or well, he played recreationally because our college team was really bad, but he was fanatical about it nonetheless). And yeah. Superstitious. bag smelled really bad. Wore the same pair of socks every time for luck. Sounds about right :P

    I’ll take my funfetti bark sans fudge layer as well. Please and thank you.

  12. I’ve been meaning to make this since I saw it on How Sweet, and now you’ve reminded me! This looks so delicious.

  13. don’t forget the player who won’t wash his jersey all season…because there’s luck in it…

  14. My son thinks sprinkles are a food group. You are a genius with sprinkles. (Now why do I picture Albert Einstein with colored candy bits in his fluffy hair?)

  15. So true about hockey players. I have a LARGE family (and I mean…20+ first cousins..) and most, including my aunts and uncles, play hockey. My mom, my dad, my brother…but not me hah (ironically my bro was a goaltender but plays out now, mom is a D, and dad plays right wing), though I appreciate the sport so much. Living in Denmark right now I’m hard pressed to find ANY hockey.

    Didn’t know you were Canadian, but thanks for reppin’, we do curse a lot, but damn were proud.
    Love you recipes, thank you for being awesome :)

  16. Ok, first the runner post and now the hockey post. Being a former runner and currently living with a hockey player, you seriously had me in stitches! Hilarity on wheels! Er, on ice!!

  17. Pretty AND delicious! Can’t beat that! I’ll definitely be making this!!!

  18. I am just going to smile :-)

  19. Your blog is always a funfetti read. :-)

  20. I love that cake batter taste too! If these were in front of me I’d eat’em all. Now since you’ve ‘outed’ recreational runners I will never look at my relatives the same! Luckily I don’t know of the hockey stink. Loved that pic of you and your jersey.

  21. I had the privilege of visiting a minor league hockey locker room after a game. I wondered why there were so many fans both inside and outside the locker room until I got closer. OMG! The smell! Never forgotten that.

    And yeah. Legs, thighs and butts. Yep.

  22. As a former goalie I can attest to the fact that we are weird. Getting dressed for a game went in an certain order because I couldn’t get my gear on if it went out of order, but I wasn’t one that had to do right skate, right pad first. I do know a few goalies that are like that though. I am married to a defenseman. There is something about a guy willing to dive and take a puck for the team to prevent a goal. Forawards tend to be the cocky ones. my front room currently has that funk from game worn gear. :/

  23. I for one am a runner and I loved your post on the absurdity of it all. I run a 10k a few times a week and you are so right, it’s not a big deal. People ask me all the time if I run marathons and this is what I say “No, never. I run to be healthy. My runners high starts as soon as my run ends. I have 3 kids and a busy life. I don’t have 5 hours on a Saturday to travel to, check in, pay for(!) and run a race. To be honest I don’t consider marathons to be healthy. You do not need to run for 4 hours to be healthy. They are an extreme form of exercise that can lead to many injuries. Amen to all you said, loved it.

  24. Another masterpiece!! I LOVE THIS!! I linked your creation here – http://lyndsxo-glamourmoms.blogspot.com/2011/03/spotted-funfetti-bark.html

    Keep the fabulosity coming!! :)

  25. I saw chocolate Funfetti for the first time in Target today.

  26. WOW, this sounds incredibly easy, im definitely going to try this and i’ll use the bark as a decoration for my chocolate cake too!!

  27. I LOVE this!! Most of the time when I do cupcakes, I use the Funfetti cake mix, but I never would have thought to use the sprinkles with chocolate bark! Cute, cute, cute!!

  28. LOVE it! How many fantastic FUNfetti creations can you come up with?? I think I may have to go home & make this tonight!

  29. you are my blog crush

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