Peabody’s current top ten advice to all the people who didn’t ask for it in the first place.

1. If you talk crap behind someone’s back, don’t be shocked or upset if someone does it to you. At some point in your life, even though it’s never right, you said something not so great about someone, maybe even your friend. So just know that if you are willing to talk about someone behind their back, they are willing to do the same. It’s human nature.

2. Treat others how you want to be treated. I’m a firm believer that Karma is a only a bitch if you are. If you go through life being an a-hole or a bitch don’t be shocked when people treat you horrible. You can’t call someone a pathetic excuse for a human being and expect them to come back and tell you what a great person you are.

3. Buy clothing that fits. When I was a WW leader my biggest advice for people was to buy clothing that fit. No one ever wants to do this. No one wants to admit they are the size that they are. They only want to fantasize about the size they are going to be. But you aren’t there yet, and it may take you awhile to get there. So buy yourself some clothing that makes you feel good now. If you feel good about yourself, you have a higher chance of losing more weight. And if you don’t lose any weight, at least you are looking good at the size you are! Embrace it.

4. If you leave the house/apartment looking like crap, you will run into people you know. If you leave the house/apartment looking awesome, you will run into no one. Shoot for somewhere in the middle.

5. Ask people, don’t tell them. And if they say no, accept that answer. I know a guy who runs a hockey team that no one wants to be on. Partially because he wears them down into playing by hounding them, even after they repeatedly tell him no. Does he get the players? Yes, but I know most of them personally and none of them enjoy playing on that team. Or my friend L who’s ex-husband always signs their kids up for things on her weekend without asking her. She just gets emails saying you and the kids are going to little Jimmy’s Chucky Cheese party. Would she be more than willing to take them? Nine times out of ten, you bet. But it’s nice to be asked, not told. Now, if she says no or has other plans the kids are disappointed or better yet the dad gets to take them and she is cheated out of her time. Not cool. But child manipulation is one of the many joys of divorce.

6. If someone offers you a breath mint, take it. Chances are this is their polite way of letting you know that your breath smells like you made out with a fire breathing dragon who happens to be a crack whore who licks ashtrays as well. So take the mint.

7. If you are having a bad day, don’t take it out on others. This goes back to the rule of treat others how you want to be treated. Chances are if you are having a bad day, and you take it out on others, your day is going to get worse, not better.

8. You cannot control people. No matter how hard you try. So stop trying. Oh sure you can manipulate people into certain things, but in the end, that will come back to bite you in the ass I can assure you.

9. Don’t try and make other people miserable just because you are. If you pull them down and make them miserable too, you are still miserable as well. Why not just focus on you being happy and not worry about if other people are happy. If other people are happy and you are not, that is your fault, not theirs. Don’t punish them for figuring out how to be happy.

10. If you reward someone for being a bitch/a-hole, they will continue to be a bitch/a-hole. Think of a kid at Wal-Mart screaming for candy…you know the kids, we have all seen it. The parent eventually gives in and gives the candy bar to the kid. Therefore rewarding him for being an a-hole. And of course since he was rewarded for being a jerk in Wal-Mart before, guess what he is going to do again? If you continue to look the other way or give into people when they behave badly, they will continue to do so because you have rewarded them by letting them get their way. It works the other way around as well. If you are polite and genuinely thankful for what people do, then they will want to do more things for you. This is one of the things my ex and I are good at. We both genuinely appreciate when we do something for each other. This encourages us to want to continue down this path. I know some people have commented that we do better at getting along because we don’t have kids. I totally disagree with this. People who married and have kids HAVE to communicate with each other because of the kids. People without kids don’t. We could have completely walked away. Plus I have plenty of friends who have amicable relationships with their ex’s who they share children with. Can be done.

Having nothing to do with any of that I offer up a semi-informal number 11…if it’s cheaper to buy than make it in today’s economy…go cheap. I have been bad lately about making my own pie crust…you know why? Cheap! I mean cheap. I bought one premade Oreo Crust, Shortbread Crust, and a Graham Cracker crust all for a whopping $1.89…that was for all three ladies and gents. I can’t buy Oreo’s for that price. So I’ve been a cheater. Yes, the quality is slightly less, but most of the people I am serving aren’t foodies and really don’t care. So I have had to learn to embrace the fact that not all things must be made from scratch. Hard as that may seem for me.

This is a no bake pie. Summer is coming for some of you, we personally had snow yesterday (my poor home farm), but the rest of the country is heating up. So I thought a no bake was in order. This has got a whole lot of ghetto ingredients including marshmallow fluff and I did put a drop of green food coloring in it because it had no green color whatsoever and looked a little bland. The good thing is that with minimal work you have a creamy, light, and tart pie. Add some whipped cream and you are good to go.

No Bake Key Lime Pie

1 pre-bought graham cracker crust
6 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup marshmallow cream
14 ounces sweetened condensed milk
1 cup key lime juice
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tsp. unflavored gelatin
1 drop green food coloring (optional)

Whip all the ingredients together (not the pie crust…hopefully you can figure that out) using a stand mixer with whisk attachment. Whisk until smooth and fully combined.

Pour into prepared pie crust and let sit overnight.

Garnish with whipped cream if you would like.

I have no idea why women (and some men for that matter) want to be a princess. This week of course was all about the Royal Wedding. I have nothing against the royal couple or their wedding, and wish them nothing but the best. Kate seems like a perfectly lovely girl and she looked very stylish and tasteful in her wedding gown this morning. But I so would not want her life…ever.I know women love the idea of getting to wear fancy dresses and buy whatever they want all while wearing millions of dollars in royal jewelry. Big deal! This doesn’t come from a place of jealousy I can assure you. I can’t be jealous of someone who is constantly under the eye of the media, and in Kate and Williams’s situation, an entire country…and even this country. I know plenty of people who woke up early to watch the wedding or recorded it to watch later. I was not one of those people.

Being watched and photographed wherever you are is not my idea of fun. Always having to be polite. Gain a few pounds and you are ridiculed. Lose a few pounds and they claim stress in your relationship. Never running to the Circle K in sweatpants. Never getting to give someone the bird when they cut you off in traffic.

Many of my friends hosted brunches and took off of work to watch. Making tea sandwiches and scones. I went in an opposite direction. Messy cookies that are anything but royal. They are just cookies filled with random Easter candy. I had mini peanut butter cups, Robins Eggs, and Pretzel M&M’s so that’s what I put in mine. You can put whatever. It’s just a way to use up what is sitting in my Hello Kitty basket.

That’s it today, I have an ear infection and am down and out. Hope you have a great weekend.

What about you? Do you want to be a princess if you could? If so, why?

Not So Royal Leftover Candy Cookies

1 cup brown sugar, packed
½ cup powdered sugar
1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup Pretzel M&M’s
½ cup mini peanut butter cups
½ cup Whoppers or Mini Robins Eggs

Preheat oven to 375° F.
Using a stand mixer, cream butter, sugars, and vanilla extract together on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
With the mixer on low speed, add the flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix until fully incorporated.

Fold in the M&M’s, peanut butter cups, and Robins Eggs, and try to distribute them evenly (ha).
Bake for 8-10 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

Back in the day people went to culinary school for one thing, to become a chef and then go work in a restaurant with the hopes of opening your own one day. But now days there are many avenues you can go in the food industry. And if that is your hope, then I have a book for you.

Some people think there is money in food blogging, I can assure you that is not the route to go. I personally lose money every month on this blog. It cost more to run it than the revenue I make. Which back when I was married was fine because the income wasn’t needed, but now has me seriously wondering how long I can continue to do this. My point is don’t start a food blog thinking you are going to make money and get a book deal. I didn’t start this blog for that. But there are other avenues that you can do, and even better that you can do part time while you get your feet wet so to speak.

Starting a Part-time Food Business by Jennifer Lewis shows you how to do just that. The book features real life startups and what they did to be successful, right down to their detailed budgets. Going through the channels you can sell your product whether it be wholesale, farmer’s markets, to one line retail. How to package your product. And detailed business plans which I found to be the most helpful in the entire book. It’s a great read for any of you who have ever thought about making the jump into a food based business. Maybe you make great jam and everyone you know says it’s good enough to buy. Get this book. It will help you start to finish.

Or maybe you want to ship cakes across the country? People write me all the time and ask how to package things…some even accuse me of withholding that info. I’m not withholding anything, I just don’t usually ship. Though the one time I did ship something was a pound cake. I figured it was pretty solid and should make it there, it did. This is a pretty straight forward pound cake. Scented with lime and filled with white chocolate chips. It’s great for afternoon tea.

If you are wondering why there aren’t any cut photos of this cake…because I am giving the cake away to someone who I don’t normally give stuff to. And though the usual suspects in my life are used to getting a cake with a piece sliced out of it, or two, this person is not. So just deal with it.

Lime-White Chocolate Chip Pound Cake

3 cups cake flour
½ tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 cup buttermilk
3 TBSP fresh lime juice
Zest of one lime
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 eggs, at room temperature
1 cup white chocolate chips coated with 2 TBSP flour

Preheat oven to 350F.

Grease a 10-4 inch bundt pan or a long loaf pan (I used a 16-x-4-inch pan) using baking spray, set aside.

Using a stand mixer, cream together the butter and sugar, until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Add eggs, one at a time, scraping down the bowl after each addition.

Add the lime juice and zest, and beat for one minute on medium-high speed.

Mix together the flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a bowl and set aside.

With mixer on low speed, at 1/3 of the flour mixture. Then add ½ of the buttermilk. Then another 1/3 of the flour mixture. Then the remaining buttermilk. Followed by the remaining flour mixture. Mix until fully combined.

Fold in the white chocolate chips.

Bake for 60-65 minutes, or until a wooden skewer tester or knife comes out clean.

And so it begins…my home farm that is.

I was fortunate enough that in my previous house I tried to do a container garden with both flowers and herbs, so I had some containers to start with. I went and bought a few more at the nursery where I first got them. Lucky for me that day they were buy one get one free! So far the containers are certainly what cost the most in this adventure. Though they don’t need to be. If I had not already had some of the pots and was starting from scratch I would have just found random items to use. As it stands right now I also plan on trying to do a pallet farm. I am also on the lookout for a couple of dresser drawers that I can modify and plant some herbs in. I’ve been looking at the thrift stores but haven’t found one that totally works yet. Picking your containers is very important as it will decide on what you can plant. Some veggies can grow shallow (like lettuce) but some need much more room (like my broccoli). So these are all things to consider before starting, especially if you have some veggies you really want to plant.

The next thing I had to decide on was soil. One of the great things about container farming is the fact that you just start with good soil. You don’t have to dig up your yard and assess your soil and figure out what you need to do. You just get soil and dump it in. I decided that since these veggies were hopefully going in my mouth (grow plants grow) that I would go organic. My mother wanted me to use a product that would enhance the size of my veggies and fruit, but I live in the Seattle area where we are all about local and organic produce. So I chose both an organic soil and fertilizer (which also needs to be added to your soil). But other than that you are good to plant. In case you are wondering, I used Gardner & Bloome BLUE RIBBON BLEND Premium Potting Soil: Natural & Organic Premium All-Purpose Indoor or Outdoor Container Mix and Dr. Earth Organic Vegetable Garden Fertilizer).

Next came figuring out what to plant. I read books, talked with my friends who grow fruits and veggies, and then talked to the experts at my local nursery (Molbak’s for those that are in the area), as well as consulted the Vegetable and Herb guide on the Triscuit Home Farming website. Given the time frame I have to work with I chose to start with small plants instead of seeds (but did you know you can get seeds for your very own farm right in your Triscuit box). I learned that leafy greens, broccoli, peas (sugar snap grown best in colder climates) would be good for my area. So I chose a variety of lettuces, Swiss chard, spinach, snap peas, and broccoli for my veggies and am giving a variety of strawberries a try that I had never heard of but wanted to try. And of course I have a large variety of herbs. I still plan on adding more but have to wait until the weather warms up. I must say that weather has been the biggest obstacle so far. I’ve had snow twice this week in the morning. Now granted, it was mixed snow/rain but still, not ideal weather at all. It’s funny, I normally prefer the gray skies and rainy weather, but now that I have a farm on my patio I am always mumbling about where is the sun!

As you can see by the photos, I did have a couple helpers on the project, the furry one was especially helpful. I do have more space on my patio, but not totally sure how much more I want to add. It is only sunny on part of my patio and so covering the whole patio with a farm makes little sense.

What about you? How is your planting coming? Have you joined the movement yet? If not, it’s not too late to start a home farm! The more the merrier…and well fed.

Disclaimer: Triscuit compensated me to start my home farm as well as provide compensation for this post but the opinions and bad grammar are all mine. Be sure to check out my post as well as the other bloggers participating in this challenge on Better Homes and Garden’s Home Farming Challenge page.