Being a Super Mom puts psychiatrists out of business, so stop trying to be one…

Sunday is a twofold for my mother. It’s not only Mother’s Day but it is also my mother’s birthday. Every now and then the calendar aligns and that happens. Of course, it’s never all the fun having a holiday close to your birthday (I know) as people try and lump them together. Which is probably why the women in my family celebrate birthday month instead of just the day. :)

I was visiting my adopt a grandma (sadly she moved a few weeks ago to VA) and I was laughing hysterical at something her roommate said. She had a shared room, and her roommate had her daughter visiting. The daughter was bitching and moaning about her two children and how exhausted she was and said to her mother “I just don’t know how did it. You made it look so easy”. The sweet old lady opened her mouth and said “That’s because it wasn’t hard. But you make it hard on yourself by doing all this extra bullsh*t that back in my day people didn’t do. You planed G’s birthday for weeks and stressed about it. He’s 6. Make him a cake, invite some of HIS friends over and call it good”. I wanted to hug her.

She’s beyond right. I can’t always feel empathy for my friends with kids who are constantly stressed out. Because truth be told, 9 times out of 10 they seem to be doing it to themselves. Constantly signing their kids up for everything possible under the sun, not wanting their kid to be deprived. Always worried their kids aren’t actively engaged in something. Sometimes if you leave your kid alone, without all the play groups and crap you minivan them to, they use this thing called an imagination, perhaps you’ve heard of it? They are hand making everything from baby food to driving 20 miles out of their way so that they can get organic meat from a source they know. That’s all well and good but then don’t complain to me that you never have time, you do, you chose to spend it doing things like that.

It’s funny what we remember about our childhood anyway. Things I watch parents stress over nowadays I don’t even remember from my childhood and when I ask them about it, they don’t either. Chill people. One thing I do recall about my childhood and growing up in general is that whenever we went out to a nice restaurant (which wasn’t all that often, usually when grades came out) my mother would always at the end of the meal order what she called a “Bailey’s Irish Nut”. Now this was a coffee drink that she had somewhere one time and has ordered all her life. It’s coffee, with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Amaretto, two liquors my mother enjoys to this day. I figured since her special days were coming up that I would make something in honor of her. I’m sure my mom will be pleased as punch to know that I am using a memory about her boozing it up. :) Those are the breaks when your pain in the butt daughter runs a blog. :P Love you mom.

These are a simple bar flavored with coffee and Bailey’s and then covered in a thick Amaretto spiked glaze. They are dense, more like cake texture than a cookie. My mom would surely appreciate them. I can picture her right now having them with a cup of tea. So enjoy your birthday month mom! Thanks for being a great mom…but with flaws as well, so that I have some things to blame you for instead of having to admit that I might be the problem. :)

Bailey’s Irish Nut Coffee Bars

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
3 TBSP Bailey’s Irish Cream
Pinch of salt
½ cup whole milk
2 tsp. instant coffee (I like to use Starbucks Via)
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup powdered sugar
1 egg

In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
In a small saucepan, combine milk and instant coffee and heat at a medium- low. Stir until coffee dissolves, and remove from the heat.Using a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, cream the butter with the sugars until light and fluffy.

Beat in the egg, and then beat in the coffee mixture.

With the mixer on low, pour in the dry ingredients, and mix until combined.

Spread dough evenly in a 9 x 13 inch baking pan. Bake for 18-20 minutes at 350 degrees F, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan on wire rack.

For the Glaze:

1/3 cup evaporated milk
3 cups powdered sugar
2 TBSP Amaretto

Put 1 cup powdered sugar in a mixing bowl. Beat in the evaporated milk and vanilla extract. Gradually beat in remaining 2 cups of powdered sugar.

Continue beating until of desired consistency. If consistency is too thick, add a little more milk; if it is too thin, add more powdered sugar.
Frost the bars with the glaze


  1. Kelsey says:

    mmm those look yummy!!!

  2. Yum- you had me at booze!

  3. Haha, love the story as usual :D Totally agree. My MIL is constantly complaining about how she’s driving my husbands younger siblings all over and out of town on weekends for sports etc etc. Um… She’s the one that volunteers herself. Don’t sign up. Stay home. Have a drink. And if they don’t get to go because no one else volunteered and they’re bored I guess they’ll have to entertain themselves. I’m pretty sure it’s not the end of the world, in fact it will probably be a good thing :D
    Speaking of having a drink, the bars look amazing!

  4. Sometimes you need someone to call you out on your shit. I do this to myself all the time. I am exhausted partly because of all the running I do every evening, shuttling Liam to soccer 5 nights a week. WTH is he in soccer 5 days a week? Because, I signed him up.

    Thank you P. Hope you are feeling better!

  5. Adding that my birthday is Friday and since becoming a Mom, the 2 holidays have become one. It kinda sucks.

  6. You always provide the best stories and treats :)

  7. Ooh. These look like they’ll ship well! I think my mother-in-law’s getting a surprise for Mother’s Day this year…

  8. Amen! Here’s to moms being moms instead of cruise directors. :) My sister’s birthday is Sunday too- she’d love these bars as much as your mom. Thanks!

  9. I’m not sure if I remember correctly, but didn’t you say that your mom used to serve extra icing with the cake she made for your birthday?

    Either way, I also remember that you said yours was the ‘treat house’ growing up :)

    Happy birthday, Mother P! My mother’s birthday was also in May–Happy Mom’s Day as well!

  10. baking with booze is my favorite way to bake.

  11. So true! I love that drink, so I’m sure I’d love your divine looking bars!

    Happy B’day to your mother!



  12. I have two kids and can still agree with your grandmother’s roommate. I once had a mother from a playgroup tell me I was a horrible mother because my children had chores! Oh the horror of it! I was taking away from their play time and torturing them! Did this change my mind in anyway? Nope, my kids still have chores, had quiet time as young children, were taught manners. As a result, I have generally well behaved, helpful, polite children.
    And alot less stress than that mother from the playgroup (who’s children are hellions!)
    Nice cake for your mother. Think my mother would like this as well.

  13. Happy birthday to your mom! She certainly did a fine job raising you and deserves this treat cake. Even if she didn’t mini-van you to hockey practices 6 nights a week. ;-)

  14. This is the second bar I’ve seen today that I want to make, I just know it’ll be good!

    Happy birthday to your Mum :)

  15. MrsCreepy says:

    We make those coffee drinks every year on Christmas! We’ve always called them Nutty Irishmen, tho. I am sooo going to make this recipe!

  16. Okay, I do make my own babyfood. But that’s because it SO MUCH cheaper, not because I think I’m super mom.

    My son’s first birthday is coming up in August. I realize this day has much more meaning for me than to him, so it will be family, maybe a few friends and cupcakes. Because I want the pictures of him smooshing it all over his face. No blow-up Bounce-A-Roo, no carousel, and no petting zoo.

  17. Every four years my birthday lands on Mothers Day…my mother hates it!
    And to heck with my Mom, I want this for MY birthday next week!

  18. Eeeee! That’s the Seattle Aquarium, isn’t it?… My step-mom would love this recipe, will have to make it for her next time I’m back there.

  19. i loved what you wrote and it’s so true…about stressing out as parents!
    i want to make the recipe, now, i DID just get home from working 8 hours, and have worked three eves in a row…so maybe i am punch drunk..but..when do i add the baileys? i didn’t see were..i assume to the wet ingredients on the stove.
    love your blog!!!!!!

  20. As an afterthought I believe it was a brilliant idea to give birth to my oldest son on my birthday and a couple of years later had twins. That’s 2 birthday parties instead of 4.
    I fully support the thought of go and get yourself something to do! Had a heated conversation once with a older generation mom who told me Moms today had it easier because of all the machines we had these days. Told her it’s not about the machines it’s all in the expectations mom’s face today. Their own or their circle… Let’s bake cake!

  21. Just got done glazing this cake! It’s delicious!

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