Identity crisis…

The other day on Live Journal (no this blog is not on that…it’s my own personal thing) my friends were doing some sort of say what you admire/like about the other person. I get the two same responses in just different forms from everyone, at least I am consistent. One is that they admire my ability to find humor in almost anything even in the toughest of situations and the wit that comes from my mouth about those situations. The second is the ever popular about how sure I am of myself. I am without a doubt sure of myself. But I would like to point out that doesn’t mean I’m stuck up. Liking who you are as a person often freaks people out. Speaking your mind also seems to freak people out, especially those who build their lives up with so many lies they can’t possibly think about telling the truth. So you make them nervous especially if you know their lies.

It also doesn’t mean that I go around thinking I am hot. I pass the mirror on more than one occasion thinking, oh my what’s going on with my hair? Then put on a cute hat and move on with the day. I have fat days so to speak where nothing fits…I just find something that does fit. I don’t let it ruin my day.

What you weigh in the morning should not be making or breaking your day or your life. Last year at this time I was several sizes smaller. Not once when I was smaller did I say “I’ll never be fat again” because life and circumstance change all the time. I don’t get to go to my fancy gym anymore and workout all the time at the classes I loved anymore because I can’t afford it. You could get injured you can end up not getting to exercise for a while. Since the divorce I make way less money and therefore cannot buy all the good for me food I used to. I went back on Prednisone (which if you don’t know causes weight gain). Stressful situations. Going back to work. These things can all alter your life. And truthfully, and I will piss people off, I don’t know one single person who has lost weight and kept it off…fully off. They may have never gained it all back, but they do gain it back. And I know 9 people who had lap band/gastric bypass surgery and eventually gained it back. So it seems quite silly to base your self-worth on something that will most likely change. But you, the person inside is what matters! Of course if you are an ugly person on the inside…that’s a whole other story. :P

Identity and knowing who you are can be a tricky thing. Take this fudge for example. I had a discussion on Facebook about whether or not fudge has to be chocolate or not to be called fudge. It was decide that fudge is more about texture and can be flavored anything…so here is my Key Lime Coconut Fudge. Whatever you want to call it, it’s good and perfect for those of you having summer weather. We on the other hand should be making hearty stews on this end of the country.

Key Lime-Coconut Fudge

3 cups (465g)high quality white chocolate, finely chopped
14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
3 tsp. finely grated lime zest
3 TBSP key lime juice – freshly squeezed is better
¾ cup unsweetened coconut (if too large of pieces run through food processor)

Line a square 8-inch baking pan with foil, extending foil over the edges of pan. Butter foil; set aside.

Stir white chocolate and sweetened condensed milk in a large heavy saucepan over low heat just until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Remove from heat. Stir in lime zest and juice. Stir in the coconut. Spread mixture evenly into the prepared pan.

Cover and chill for two hours or until firm. Lift the fudge from pan using edges of foil. Peel off foil and use a knife to cut fudge into pieces (these are pretty rich so go on the small side of pieces…you can always go get another piece). Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to one week or in the freezer for up to 2 months.

Adapted from Technicolor Kitchen


  1. PattiT. says:

    Sounds like another wonderful recipe to me! By the way, my grand daughter did love the cookies and creme krispy treats.

  2. hell yeah for being sure of yourself! go peabody!

  3. I used to have a LiveJournal! Glad to know it’s still out there. I figured sites like WordPress and Blogger shut it down.

  4. Great post! I aspire to be more self confident than I am now…yours is definitely an attitude to aspire to! :) I agree this is totally fudge…after all peanut butter fudge is definitely fudge and that doesn’t (always) have chocolate in it! :-D

  5. The fudge looks amazing & like something I am going to have to try! I also totally agree with your sentiments – been there, done that, am currently fighting it again. Its what life is about…ups, downs, and learning yourself in the process : )

  6. I love Key lime pie and I love fudge. You are now purely responsible for my devestating hunger! I cannot wait to make this and I REALLY cant wait to enjoy it. Thanks for the recipe!

  7. fudge and I are besties right now, I can’t stop thinking up different combinations! This looks fantastic :)

  8. Leigh Ann says:

    Omg I am making this as soon as I can!

  9. Agreed, fudge is about the texture! Loving this idea for a flavah!

  10. Wow these sound simply amazing! Especially since I just got back from Florida and crave tropical things.

  11. Jeanne H says:

    When I was a kid and said I wanted a fudge something or other, my dad informed that fudge was a State of Being, not a flavor. ;)

    Must admit that lime and coconut is an interesting combo for fudge.

  12. $%^& me! I’m going to have to make this, and soon. I grew up on Steel’s Fudge, from Atlantic City, and it’s the only fudge I’ve ever liked. It’s the consistency. Not too soft. Not too sweet.

    This looks perfect. Must try!

  13. I like the confidence,and agree with riding the ups and downs, but it felt a bit pessimistic. You don’t need a gym to lose weight, or boat loads of money to eat well – they just certainly make it easier.

    As for the fudge, it sounds great. Do you think you could swap coconut milk for the condensed milk?

  14. Oh yum! Now you’re making me wish I had bought those key limes I saw at the grocery!

  15. That looks delicious! Mmmm. Coconut and lime. Yesterday was my birthday too! I wish I’d were able to have some of this yesterday… nom.

  16. @Rodzilla- sadly I doubt coconut milk would work, you need both the sweetness and the consistency you get from the condensed milk.

  17. i just found you from a link on (what can i say, im a sucker for drunken popsicles..). and i think i love you.
    in a non creepy stalker way :)
    thanks for being you. and not being afraid to write who you are!

  18. Wow, everything about this sounds amazing. It is on my “to make” list, for sure.

    I love your photos, Peabody. The photo of the lone fudge piece even shows your fingerprint!! Love it.

  19. Interesting discussion, and I totally feel that it can be a fine line between displaying self-confidence and haughtiness.

    I have lost a lot of weight too, and while I’m happy with myself today, I never feel 100% – more like 99.99% – because I *know* that will inevitably change someday.

    It just won’t be overnight, even if I ate an entire batch of this fudge, which I totally could :)

  20. Jonesie says:

    I just wanted to say that I know what you mean about prednisone. I am on 15mg/day. I also lost a lot of weight only to have it loaded back on. Not to mention the wonderful effect of having your face puff out like a round ball and getting a spare tire around my middle. Or maybe that is just me?

    I have my days of being despondent, tired of being ill and just wanting to be normal. But I pick myself up and face the day with a smile, because what else can you do?

    I wanted to tell you that your blog really helps bring the smile out and I would like to thank you for that.

  21. @Joneise- No I get my weight in the face and tummy as well (the face is actually called Moon Face to most Prednisone people). And sadly I am on a lot more than 15mg.
    You are right though, there is nothing you can do, so you just have to move on. :)

  22. Hello Peabody!

    I’m a student teacher teaching foods at a school for students with special needs. Tomorrow is our last day of classes so the whole week has been a bit of a throw away. When only 4 of my students showed up this morning I decided it just wasn’t fair to make them do all the cleaning while their peers skipped class so I pulled out this recipe of yours last minute and the kids loved it! We made this one and another using the same recipe but swapping the lemony things for orange things, the coconut for toasted almonds and white chocolate for dark. It went really well and it was a great project for letting the kids take something home they were proud of!

  23. @Missy- what fun for them! So glad that worked out.

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