Are you going to eat that…

I think next to former smokers the most annoying people are people who just lost weight and love to try and tell you how to eat. I personally don’t smoke, I’ve never smoked a day in my life, but I’m not going to annoy someone by telling them how bad it is. Guess what, they know. It’s pretty hard not to these days. What is hard to figure out nowadays is what to eat. First it was no fat. Then fat is okay. Then only certain fats. Don’t eat eggs. Okay eat eggs. Only eat the white part of the egg. Oh wait you can eat all the egg again. Then eat only meat. Don’t eat too much fruit. No white food. No potatoes. And on and on. It changes often. If I followed the guidelines I should technically already be dead based on my bacon consumption.

I loathe going out to eat with my friends who are on a health kick. I just went out to eat with my friend who is a stay at home mom. She has no job (*she has no conventional job I realize that being a mom is a hard job. But at no time when teaching, score keeping, being a waitress, etc can you put your job in gym day care and go workout) . Her husband pays for her to work out three times a week with a personal trainer. She goes to boot camp, yoga, etc. And has been eating clean for months now. For those of you who are unfamiliar with clean eating basically no bread, sugar, white foods, no alcohol or caffeine for that matter. Basically things that I like.

We went to a place that was acceptable to her way of eating. She had an egg white omelet with veggies no cheese, no toast, and water. Now I love me an egg white omelet actually, I prefer them to real omelets so I had no issues with what she was eating. I never have issues with what people are eating. What I do have an issue with was her commentary on everything I put into my mouth. Spewing whatever latest and greatest nutrition book that Dr. Oz told her to read this week. And then we really got into it. “Remember when you used to be so in shape” she said to me. I said, “Oh you mean when I didn’t have to work and could go to the gym all the time? And could afford to be on Weight Watchers? And could afford whatever kind of food I wanted? Then?” Why yes, I was in much better shape then. She actually wouldn’t shut up about this so I went there and asked back. “Remember when you were fatter and more out of shape?” She said “yes, I felt so horrible” and went on and on. And then I said “do you remember how many TIMES you have been in and out of shape?” Oh that’s right you lost 30 pounds and then gained 40. Lost the 40 then gained the 50. Lost the 50 and gained 55. This time losing 60 pounds…..statistically speaking she will be up 65 pounds next year. My point being is she just lost all her weight. She hasn’t maintained anything and she isn’t eating in the real world. What she is doing is something that will be very hard to maintain. And God forbid if she ever has to go back to work and won’t get in her 2-3 hour work out a day like most normal people don’t get to do. I am all for people being in the shape they want to be in. Go for it. I would love to get to go to the gym all the time with a personal trainer. But just don’t annoy other people with your stuff.

About as non-clean as you can get is the world of Funfetti. I am calling these muffins because they sound healthier that way. :P Plus in my opinion any and all things that come out of a muffin pan that do not have frosting is a muffin. Even glaze on top of a baked good is a muffin, not a cupcake. You can’t change my mind on this. :) Anyway, this time of year there are the good ol’ pumpkin muffins that are filled with cream cheese, the idea for these came from that. That and the $0.88 box of Funfetti at that store.

*Since no one ever reads through a recipe…you have to freeze the cream cheese part for at least 4 hours (preferably overnight) so know that going into this! :P


  1. First time I’ve ever commented. I love your blog, it’s always a pleasure to read, however today I’m disappointed. I’m a stay at home mom and I take offense to you saying that just because your friend is a stay at home mom that means she has no job. Personally I work so much harder now than I ever did at my 9-5 job. Not every woman who stays at home is Peg Bundy sitting on her butt eating bonbons and watching tv.

  2. If everyone ate a variety of food, in reasonable amounts and in moderation, and made time for some cardiovascular exercise, i.e. a brisk walk on a regular basis, we’d all be a lot better for it. And, we could all do with a treat like this one once in a while to keep us motivated.

  3. The ignorance about nutrition seems to be even higher among people on health kicks.

    I have a friend who is self supporting, going to school full time, working, and has still managed to lose 95lbs (still going) what’s almost as impressive is she doesn’t say a thing to other people about what they choose to eat.

  4. I swear we were separated at birth…

  5. I love this post! And I completely agree with you.

    And I’m planning on making these asap in order to MAINTAIN my extra 10lbs. Cause that’s the right thing to do.

  6. I LOVE this post! You rock!

  7. OMG I love you Peabody!!!! This is the best post ever! Yes yes and yes I know how you feel :) Eat and let eat I say! Hand me a muffin please :)

  8. Oh Peabody – I could not have said it better myself!!!
    Great post!

  9. So my BFF and her husband lost a about 100lbs between them and although they dont give my husband and I a hard time about we eat they say we are enablers becasue they eat horribly when they are with us. The real deal is that we are very considerate of their healthier tastes and choose restraunts that are mostly healthy BUT they choose the food that they eat! I can not help it if you order yummy gooey cheese fries just because you are tired of egg whites and spinach! I am not an enabler!

  10. @Kristi- I have many a friend that is a stay at home mom. I realize that unto itself is a tough job. But that is also a tough job where you can take your work to the gym and drop your work off at day care while you get a work out in. Or in this person’s case, she has a woman come to her house to wacth her child. When I go and substitute teach, at no time during the day from 7:30am until 3:50pm do I have the option to go and work out. Stay at home moms have this option.

  11. I think you, Amanda and I were triplets separated at birth. WTH?

    My friend had a baby and ran into an old boyfriend who is now super freaking rich. His “baby advice” to her was: Get an overnight nurse and be sure your personal trainer comes over right after the birth so you can stay in shape!

  12. She may be healthy, but if I had to spend the rest of my life without bread, sugar, or alcohol I would have to go find a tall building to throw myself off of. Sounds like she just wants you to be as miserable as she is.

  13. i love you peabody! we are all adults, we have to own our choices. i don’t need anyone commenting on what i eat!

  14. First of all, I do read recipes all the way thru! :) I like this one, I’ve had a box of Funfetti cake mix sitting in my pantry forever so now I can use it with my granddaughter to make these muffins. Second, being a stay at home mom is hard work, I was one for 2o plus years but it was what my ex and I decided I’d do so I didn’t gripe about it nor did I throw it into people’s faces. I just did it and my accomplishment was my kids. Lastly, I’ve lost over 100 lbs. in the past 11 years and I wouldn’t think of throwing nutrition advice in anyone’s face. I lost the weight because I wanted to feel better for myself. I cheat on my diet every now and then, I don’t think it’s normal not to. I’m just not a control freak and I do it for myself. Maybe it’s because I’m part Asian? Women have to stick together for heaven’s sakes, we get picked on enough from the opposite sex.

  15. OMG.
    First time I have ever commented on your blog and you have single handedly become my personal savior. Okay, slight exaggeration. I’m a full time working single parent and like so many others YES, YES, YES.

    Adore you!

  16. Oh my goodness. Was that my sister you were out to eat with? She started working out this year and then “eating healthy” and has lost quite a bit of weight and looks really good, BUT you’d think she invented the “healthy lifestyle.” Ugh! She makes her kids kale shakes for crying out loud. I make sure to feed my poor little niece and nephews good things like cookies and marshmallows when they come to visit Aunt KooKoo.

    And, gee, I wish I could be one of those kind of stay-at-home moms….. I’ve been a SAH/WAHM for over a decade now and never seem to find much, if ANY, “me” time. I don’t know what I’m doing “wrong” here, maybe it’s called actually taking care of my family :) And this weekend that may have to include making them some of these muffins! Because nothing says love quite like funfetti <3

    p.s. I love your taste in food! Please never get all "health-nut" on us :) Tofu-kale muffins just don't sound quite as yummy, lol.

  17. i’m a stay at home mom and i get where you’re coming from but i don’t have the ability to drop my kids in a gym daycare but when i was working i would get time off. Before work and after work and in between jobs. Being a mom isn’t like that at all. There is NO off time for most of us. That being said i find the people that bark the loudest about eating right fall off the train the fastest.

    love the note at the top of the recipe. i have totally done that a million times.

  18. Thanks for the heads up on the cream cheese – I always fail to read through the entire recipe before I start! :) This looks great and I agree with you and honestly I wouldn’t bother going out to eat with that “friend” again … life is too short and if you’re like me, my enjoyment in life is centered around my meals (and treats)!

  19. i don’t understand the “no white food” diet. I think I missed that one…

    And your friend can’t be on the no white food diet if she is eating egg whites. just sayin…

  20. I am a stay at home mom who lost 160 lbs 4 years ago and has kept it off ever since. I get absolutely every perspective on this thread. Until recently I worked from home on the computer so that I could have income and still take care of my kids 24/7. Daycare not an option, having a trainer come in not an option. Instead I wake up at 5:30 in the morning so that I can go to the gym and be back just about the time everyone else here wakes up. I am VERY careful about what I eat because I have to be and people are constantly remarking that I need to lighten up and have a cookie so I understand how annoying it is for people to try to police your intake. However, I never EVER comment on what other people are eating unless it’s to tell them it looks delicious and I don’t presume that I have the right to tell anyone they need to work out every day like I do. My friends are grown ups, everyone here is a grown up. I expect people to let me make my own decisions about my body and in return I do them the same favor.

  21. I wonder if you friend knows that yo-yo dieting is more damaging to your health than maintaining a reasonable weight and taking a walk. She sounds like a pain is the butt. You should take her a muffin. Staying at home allows a person more time for themselves even if they have children.

  22. I hate commenting on blogs I really do but I’m going to make an exception and say this:

    Get a new friend lol. It’s unfortunate that you can’t tell her to her face. Either she’ll get over it or she won’t.

    I’m a stay at home mom. I can’t remember the last time I could find the time to go out with a friend (not to mention taking the time to keep a friendship) and spend the money on a lunch I couldn’t afford. I guess it’s just me but you both have it pretty good. In fact the next time y’all go out to not enjoy each other’s (lmao) company you can come take care of my children. They are autistic by the way so no gym daycare is capable of taking care of them. Oh that’s right…no daycare is. Everyone has a story. I think it’s idiotic for all y’all to complain about peabody voicing her opinion. She obviously wasn’t summing us all up..she was just describing who her friend is.

    I hope your friend has other admirable qualities as I for one love butter and fried chicken…she can starve if she wants to lol. And her husband pays her to go to the gym? What the hell is that?

  23. I am in full support of people figuring out ways to be healthy and living a healthy lifestyle… but telling you what to eat or making comments (especially mean ones) about your diet/weight/body is just unacceptable. I probably would have just gotten up from dinner anf left!

  24. Poor Peabody, I had to laugh at the can of worms. People love to hate, to hate the girls that are skinny without trying, the people that work hard at it, the ones who are happy with themselves, moms at home, people who work, everything. At the end of the day, if I want to make some awesome ridiculous cupcakes/cookie/brownie/etc I’m going to come here. I love that you call it like it is and share your fun stories. Thanks for giving us awesome recipes along the way. I would read even if they weren’t here, but I do love it!

    PS I’m a SAHM and I’ve worked full time before too. There’s good and bads to both but clearly, that girl sounds like she would make anyone crazy! I wanna go to lunch with you and talk about how to make over the top baked goods, forget the diet info! :)

  25. “But at no time when teaching, score keeping, being a waitress, etc can you put your job in gym day care and go workout.”

    Haha, THIS a million times. And, the reality that she seems to be missing is that we all make our own decisions about how to take care of ourselves and it’s not anyone else’s business to try to force their way of doing things on to us. I’m sorry about the taxing lunch with your friend…but glad you tell it like it is and still make fabulous muffins. :-)

  26. I am a stay at home mom. I also work from home so that I can raise my children and still put food on the table. I have never once put my children in daycare to get in a workout – I do it at 5 AM, in my basement, before they wake up. They come to doctors appointments with me; they are present when I am working. Being a mom is a 24/7 thing for me because I choose to parent that way. Making blanket statements about anybody, whether it be stay at home moms, working moms, bloggers, dieters, or even Peabody, just doesn’t cut it. As another commenter posted previously – everyone has a story. Perhaps it would behoove us all not to be so judgmental.

  27. I am a stay at home mom and my son is in first grade. Meaning…for the second year in a row, I have the house to myself for about 7 hours a day. Granted, I keep a spotless house, do laundry, grocery shopping, pay bills and also keep up with my blog (which is time consuming, you know this) but also…it’s nice. I have flexibility. I can go to lunch or take a day to go shopping.

    What I’m getting at, is that sometimes us SAHMs get a bit overly sensitive and feel like we have to jump at anything that remotely sounds like an insult and constantly explain how we spend our time. I think it’s silly. By this point, we should have all evolved past this phase.

    I don’t jump down anyone’s throat. If people make snarky comments like “must be nice” I say “yes it is”. Because it is. My husband works hard so I can stay home, and I thank my lucky stars every day. I don’t need to defend myself and any woman who feels she does…it is an issue she needs to work through with herself.

    As far as people who judge what you eat…seriously?? Get a life. I mean, what is the point of being skinny if you can’t look better than everyone? So just let them eat the junk and gain 200 pounds!!

    (for the record I am a relatively small person but I do not work out OR eat well…but the junk I eat is in small portions)

  28. Just so you know not all stay-at-home moms have the luxury of dropping their kids off at a daycare or get a babysitter. My husband sometimes works 60 hours an hour and I am with the kids all the time and we can’t afford childcare because, unfortunately, where we live it is at least 15 dollars an hour to get a nanny to come in and if you can even find a nanny you’re lucky.

    However, if you really want to make excersize part of your daily life you can regardless if or if you don’t have a job.

  29. You’re awesome Peabody. Great post about all these screwed up diets.

  30. This is my first time reading your blog thanks to Confessions of a Cookbook Queen. I love it! It’s women like your friend who fall in that 5% who give stay at home moms and health conscious women a bad rep!

  31. Read most of the comments…but didn’t see anyone ask the obvious.
    Does she read your blog???? haha
    Wonder if her skinny panties are in a bunch. :)

  32. Peabody you are a naive idiot. I’m a stay at home mom and not only do I not have enough money to have a gym membership, I don’t have enough money for daycare. So yes there are some woman that choose to leave their children while they go work out but not all mothers have that luxury. Watch what you say or STFU.

  33. Love the post. Personally, I think you have to divorce this skinny friend of yours. These preachy people…that have “the answer” is she for real? just sit back and watch her pack it on when she goes from “eating clean” to “eating like a real person”. she would be better served by learning to eat in the real world by making healthy choices and learning portion control. Which is something I need to do considering I shoved my fat ass into a pair of size 14 pants today. My point is, i used to be a size 8 (and 10, and 12) and I know what the hell i need to do….eat less/move more. I blame Nutella. Both my kids are in school full time now…which is soooo sad for me…so I actually could join a gym. We’ll see…..

  34. @Kelly- that’s the joy of this being my blog I don’t have to shut the fuck up. :P

  35. Love it! I say moderation in everything…life is too short so EAT THE @#*$ MUFFIN!

  36. I totally get where you’re coming from, Peabody.
    First of all I respect all stay at home mom’s; they have a very important job and work hard. But sometimes my SAH friends forget that one of the perks of their job is the fact that they are queen of their domain and can to some extent tailor their schedule around their plans and can usually find someone to watch their kids when they need to.
    I am a doctor and work well over 60 hours a week. after 10-12 hours at work I come home and make dinner (not from a box, my husband is a health freak) for my family, then play with my kids and try to clean a little before helping get them to bed. then if my husband is occupied with other things, i finally get to have some me time after 10pm, which all to often is actually taken up by more paper work i brought home from the office. I have to decide between free time and sleep depending on how many patients i have to see in the hospital before being at my office by 8:30. (sorry that was a really long explanation)
    SO, when my friends lecture me about making time to exercise when their child still takes 2 hour naps and they eat out at least 4 times a week, i get a little frustrated sometimes too.

    bottom line, I try not to take it personally when my friends say things like, “i just don’t understand how you work, i just love my kids too much to be away from them” and SAH moms should cut us a little slack when we say things like Peabody did. We are all doing the best we can.

  37. I am a first time reader and am 1. definitely going to try this recipe tomorrow; and 2. deeply saddened by all the stay at home moms who got offended. If you read carefully, you are not being bashed. If you are working as hard as I think you probably are then you do not feel the need to defend your position as a stay at home mom. I think its important to note that there is a different dynamic for moms who have 9-5s or 3-11s or god forbid the 12 hour shift jobs outside the home. No one is saying you get to relax day and night. But you do have alot more flexibility in your schedule. Honestly, I think any person who defends their position as a stay at home mom as so difficult is insecure about that position. Obviously it’s hard to not have daycare and have the kids constantly there with you. But seriously, stay at home moms have a different beast to tame than those who work outside the home.
    Anyway, I’m making these cupcakes and my hat goes off to any mom who is dedicated to her child. :)

  38. Kelly- you missed the entire point of this post. She isn’t saying that all SAHM’s have this luxury, just that you shouldn’t judge or preach to others. Especially if you have more resources and time than them. Peabody, I throughly enjoy all of your recipes and blog posts. Much love, girl!

  39. Love this post. I’m going to school to be a Dietitian BUT…don’t expect me to eat that way lol. I tell everyone I eat whatever is NOT healthy for me. I’m going to die regardless.. I might as well enjoy life ;)
    And I read ur part that a stay at home mom is a job in itself but we do have more time to do other things that working moms don’t have the time or energy for that matter to do.

  40. Wow! Are all your parties this much fun?! This is great!
    To all the full-time working moms, keep rocking! You’re doing something GREAT for YOU and your KIDS! You’re teaching them a great lesson in life.
    To SAHM’s, keep on, well… keeping on.

    Peabody, great post :) My sister is the same way. She is always forwarding me emails about the “Monsters” my husband drinks (try telling an infantry soldier who works 16 hours a day that Monsters are bad for him… ya, not gonna happen!), or the “white” rice I’m eating will clog my colon and give me cancer, or whatever latest craze is. Oy vey! Can’t keep up, don’t care :)

  41. Amen!

  42. Wow, clean eating sounds awful. I need my bread for my daily pb&j and I need my little bit of sugar to make me feel happy. And your friend sounds like a very…yabbery (I declare this a word) type of person. I would throw some rice (or small food) at her until she stops.

  43. This gets my award for favorite post and comments of the day. People get their panties in a wad over the silliest things. This is not about SAHM at all. I’ve been all 3- SAHM, part time, and now full time worker. As I said on Kristan’s facebook page…as a nurse, I will always have job security because some of you are going to have Heart Attacks. Drink some wine and chill and while you are at it… eat a cupcake.
    And then meet me at the gym tomorrow after work. I need the workout partner.

  44. @Jenny- come read my post tomorrow…I quoted you. :)

  45. Ok.. i’m not one of those preachy girls, but here’s that funfetti recipe for the cake that’s no fat! Incorporate that yummy filling (or use low fat crm cheese) and bet this would be good too!

    Pillsbury Funfetti Cake Mix + Diet Cream Soda

    Stir together a can of diet cream soda with a box of Funfetti cake mix. Don’t add ANY of the other stuff the box tells you to add… Just the soda. Then simply bake according to package instructions, or until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean.

  46. I’m a stay at home mom and took no offense to this what so ever.

    To the readers who got offended that she said you didn’t work….she didn’t say that. She said no conventional job. Yes being a mom is hard and you rarely get time for yourself….I know I never get much time to myself. I even have to bake in the middle of the night for the most part. Cant go to the bathroom alone, but it certainly isn’t the same as going outside the home to work….been there done that.

    I think your post is fantastic and it speaks your mind. I’ve never read your blog before today, but saw a post from a fellow blogger on FB and came to check it out. I totally agree that everyone should eat what they want. With that I will add that Skinny doesn’t equal healthy. I was a bigger girl at one time and better in shape then I am now being skinny.

    Now quit getting so upset over a blog post that was talking about cupcakes…don’t wear your heart on your sleeve…..Eat the cupcake….you know you want to!

    Great blog post…so real and honest.

  47. Oh man am I chuckling. I have 4 children, in a span of 7 years. My youngest is now in 2nd grade. Let me say, I have been a stay at home mom for nearly 13 years, and I love it. It’s totally my choice. When I hear other SAHM bash working it makes me furious. Here’s the thing…my pediatrician, my eye doctor, my vet, and nearly all of my kids teachers are MOMS! My life and the life of my children would be miserable if these MOMS didn’t work. Just sayin.

    I’m also going to say that while being a SAHM is work, it’s also flexible. If I want to stay in my jammies all day or I’m not feeling well, or one of my kids isn’t feeling well, I can do that. I don’t have to report to anyone but myself (and occasionally my dear dear hubby!!).

    As for food, well, I say eat the muffin. :)

  48. I love your rant – got so tired of friend and her weight loss – fine, well and good so I need to lose 15. Lost 10 last year and never said a word about it to her (patting self on back) Darndest thing, she had the $$$ Thermage treatment and thinks it makes her look sooo much younger – I can’t tell any difference but I didn’t comment (another pat!) Eat what you want, exercise if you can – we all know what is good for us – without reading or hearing about it!

  49. Wow, came back this morning to check out the comments after all the commenting on FB….. wow. I’m always amazed at the people who turn everything into a battle. And this one apparently started by a “Real Housewife of the Pacific Northwest.” I need a more coffee in my system, it’s taken me nearly 5 minutes to type this little bit.
    Just one more thing. Schwann’s has a confetti cake ice cream that would be to die for with one of these warm muffins. Just came to me. I think it might throw me into a sugar coma just thinking about it however. Where’s that coffee….. I’m getting all rambly now….

  50. Wow this gloriousness just made my eyes pop!


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