Did someone call the drama llama?…


“Peabody you are a naive idiot. I’m a stay at home mom and not only do I not have enough money to have a gym membership, I don’t have enough money for daycare. So yes there are some woman that choose to leave their children while they go work out but not all mothers have that luxury. Watch what you say or STFU.”

That’s the joy of running your own blog, I don’t have to shut the f*ck up nor watch what I say. For the record, I have more stay at home mom friends than I do working mom friends. My mother was a stay at home mom. Once I was school age she went to work part time but didn’t go to work until after I left for school and was back by the time I was home from school. Though my mother will tell you that she thinks people (mostly women, there are stay at home dad’s) make it much harder on themselves than it needs to be. She still says to this day that raising three children and being a stay at home mom was not quite the ordeal that people make it out to be. Nowadays it is filled with Gymboree (we just used to go play outside), music lessons as early as age 1, group play dates, planning elaborate theme parties, and my friends always seem to think they need to be doing something engaging with their children at all times. If they are always doing something how will their imaginations ever develop?

If you really read the post I was pointing out about her telling me what I should be eating and how I should be working out. She is one type of SAHM that has the luxury of going to the gym with a personal trainer. Plus boot camps. Hot yoga, etc. Back when I was in shape I only worked part time and was basically a stay at home wife with no real obligations other than to keep myself up as well as married to someone who could support that. I don’t have that luxury anymore. Since I am 39 a good portion of my friends have school age children and so they have time between the time their children go to school and come back to get done what they want. And many of my stay at home mom’s with non-school age children that don’t go to the gym pop in an exercise video on while their child naps or go to Stroller Strides. These just aren’t options for me or someone at a traditional 9-5 type job. I work 4 random part time jobs. I am not pro working mom anti stay at home mom kind of thing. I’m pro whatever works best for your family.

As usual I’m striking a chord. SAHM’s seem to get very sensitive. They think people don’t think they do real work. Of course it’s real work. I like the girl who pointed out “I will say I’ve been amazed at how people get so up in arms and offended by others opinions. If this angers anyone that much, consider yourself blessed cuz you don’t have much else to worry about then. As a nurse, my job is secure cuz some of you are going to have Heart attacks for sure. And I’m smiling while I’m typing so take a deep breath and watch a comedy for Petes sake!!” on a Facebook post on another bloggers page when the post was posted on her page. This sums it up beautifully.

Chill out everyone. Visit Laid Back Land. Oh and for all that wonder…I warn/ask any of my friends who end up on this blog. She even commented at the end of lunch “this is going on the blog isn’t it” and I said “oh yeah” and she just laughed and said make something with Funfetti. I told her if she ever wants to pay for me to go to boot camp with her since she is so concerned feel free.

My friend K was requesting more pumpkin recipes so here is one. Pumpkin muffins with butterscotch chips and walnuts. A great combo if I do say so myself. It has nothing to do with this post. But I felt people needed to understand I wasn’t attacking SAHM’s. If I had children of my own I would have stayed home until they were school age if that was financially feasible.

 

 

Comments

  1. I rarely if ever have commented here, but just wanted to say “yay!” for your imagination comment. I am in a mom’s group and we have play dates (I live in Alaska though, so half the year it’s kind of cold to go outside and play for very long). There is one 3-year-old who has declared – more than once – that my backyard is boring. Because all I have is grass and trees and bushes. I always think, WTF, you’re 3, aren’t you supposed to be able to go out there and find some dragons to slay with the lightsaber that you just happen to pull out of my bbq and then ride off on a dinosaur to your magic kingdom made of hot dogs, french fries and lollipops?

  2. Wow. When I read your post, I didn’t read it like you were attacking SAHMs, I read it like you were complaining about one person’s attitude and merely pointing out that that this one person is a SAHM and does all of this extra stuff just to point out how much free time she has and that her husband can afford for her to go do all of the gym classes and such.

  3. Those muffins are amazing!

    People seem to like to fight and argue… :-$

    Cheers,

    Rosa

  4. I now want to be a SAHD, the kind that hires someone else to take care of his kids though.

    I will spend my days trying to make your recipes between gym sessions – or paying someone else to do it.

  5. I didn’t read it that way either. In fact, I read it like you were talking about your one friend. Actually, I took it more of a stab at people who work out and preach than sahms. LOL For the record, I’m a WAHM. I’ve been home since my third child turned 3 months old, he’s now 14 years old. I worked, I paid for daycare, the whole nine yards. I read your post and you know what I thought of? Those housewives I used to live around in Vegas. Hubbies made plenty of money, enough for them to stay home, have a housekeeper once a week, and got to the gym and shopping whenever they wanted. And the preachy part, that’s what I read. I’M AN EX-SMOKER – ha ha, I drive my husband insane. I haven’t smoked in 19 years, so yeah – I knew exactly what you were talking about. maybe that woman was just stressed from her kids etc when she read your post. ;-)

  6. Damn Peabody, it’s like you know every one of my rants. Now, as this is your blog and I’d hate to get you in more trouble with anyone I’ll shut up ;)

    I love the idea of butterscotch and pumpkin together!

  7. Gotta love those SAHM’s! Someone once told me that people who try to direct or control other people’s lives are struggling to gain control over their own. Hmmmmmmm. Once again Ms. Peabody, you rock!!

    http://www.simplysweeter.blogspot.com

  8. Not that my opinion matters but I think you are hilarious. It’s funny that some people feel it necessary to tell you off on your own blog. It makes for great reading so keep it up Peabody!

  9. I love pumpkin. These sound delicious :)
    Love your blog, love your attitude, keep up the good work!

  10. I didn’t take your previous post as an attack but I knew some people would right away. I think a lot of SAHMs are super-sensitive because some people tend to judge them on turning their backs on feminism or accuse them of having it easy. My sister is a SAHM and I know for a fact that she bites off way more than she can chew, but even if she didn’t do that, it’d still be tons of work.

    But at the same time, working moms have people judging them for leaving their kids in someone else’s care for the day.

    Sadly, I think this “argument” will forever be around. Someone will always get their feelings hurt, but as long as it works for your family, it shouldn’t matter what others think.

  11. Nicole Thompson says:

    I ditto Diane’s response. It was pretty clear that you were pointing to one particular person in your life, not a generalization of all SAHM. BTW: I’m a SAHM of two, and I watch 2 other kids during the week too… I could make it to the gym if I wanted to. I will stress… IF I WANTED to :)
    I could also have a clean house and clean laundry too, but play time is much more important to me.

  12. I love that you totally call out your…um…strongly opinionated readers. Sounds like that person would have complained about anything.

    I love when people bitch about what I say on my blog and the fact that instead of just not reading it, they stick around and take the time to nag, nag, nag.

  13. Drama llama…I’ve never heard that but will have to add that to my vocabulary!!!

    But on to the food…which is what really matters, right??? These muffins are perfect for fall!

  14. Mmmm… Pumpkin Butterscotch!

    Is it just me or is anyone humming “Haters gonna hate…”. For some reason this post put it in my head! LOL!

  15. Yikes, why do people have to be so mean? But these muffins? Do I have to bake them first in order for them to be in my belly? Cause I want that to happen ASAP

  16. Once again, you amaze me with your response. I have stopped reading many blogs where the author gets all crazy about a comment made, etc…you only spend time answering the nasty comments that obviously misinterpreted your intent. Love your attitude and your recipes!

  17. People are overly sensitive these days. I’m a SAHM and was not offended in the least.

    ANYWAY, the muffins look fantastic. I wish I could find some pumpkin. :(

  18. I will never understand why people feel the need to tell a blog writer what they can say on their blog. If you don’t like it simply don’t read it. I am a SAHM and was not offended in the least by the previous post.

  19. Boy someone woke their kids up on the wrong side of the bed. Some Moms that stay at home are around kids too much they start acting like one. (I was a SAHM and now a SAHW)

    Anyway, the muffins look yummy and pumpkin is my all time favorite and it screams FALL

  20. The same story can be told with so many variations. I once hired on as a young graphic artist (with a BA degree) and was CONSTANTLY told by my co-worker(who was older and had arrived at the same place via being the secretary then computer user then “desktop publisher” then graphic designer) that everything good or creative I did was because I had “had time to PLAY AROUND” while SHE had had to work all these years…

    My point being, we ALL take different paths and make choices that work for us. In my experience, it all sums up nicely via Shakespeare…’me thinks the lady doth protest to much” — the ones taking so much offense obviously feel the need to defend their choices because they lack the balls to just own them. If you KNOW your choices are the right ones for you and your family then who gives a flying fuck what anyone else says?

  21. a sign of immaturity and self centered thinking, when a story shared of you and your friends experience is taken as a personal attack to all SAHM’s. Not intended as a derogatory statement, just an observation. I know from experience from having people in my life who are unwilling to mature and see that not everything in this life is about them.

  22. oh P you’re readers are entertaining. I have to keep my knee up and while I hate staying at home I find myself entertained with this sort of BS.
    Keep on writing exactly what you want AND let’s hope the readers read it word for word, instead of parts and bits.

  23. Laid back land foreal! Some people are so ridiculous! Just relax and enjoy your time instead of bitching about someone’s blog! Really? Let’s work on our reading comprehension. ;) Love your posts! ALL the posts! :)

  24. Oh Peabody, what fun it must be to have drama brought to your inbox so frequently. thank you girl for always saying what you think!!!!!!!!!

  25. Great recipe, great response. Seriously, what is wrong with someone that they feel they have the right to tell YOU, on your blog, to stfu. Don’t like the post? Don’t read the blog anymore.

  26. It seems like almost everyone is sensitive about this these days and parenting has become a competitive sport. Working mom vs SAHM vs working woman with no children vs the French, or something like that. If you know that you’ve made the right choice then there’s nothing to be insecure about. I’m a SAHM and me doing what’s right doesn’t equal you doing what’s wrong and if you’re doing what’s right it doesn’t make my choice any less correct. There’s no “Best Life Decisions!” award on your death bed. Make the best decisions for you and let me do the same for me, when it comes to how I manage my career AND how many doughnuts I put into my mouth. That’s all you were saying, I got that, I was offended by your friend’s cluelessness but not your annoyance at it.

  27. PS- making muffins

  28. Wow, some people must think the world revolves around them to be able to take offense at things so easily. And yes, I am a SAHM. I feel very blessed to have that privilege. And I loved the “offensive” post. :)

    And your muffins, YUMMY! I just picked up a sugar pumpkin to roast yesterday without having decided what to do with it afterwards. Now I think I know!

  29. I think people need to calm down and live their life the way they see fit. Who cares what anyone else thinks or says? No one lives your life but you. As far as the post you were referring to I have found that eating in moderation allows you to really eat anything. I have a huge sweet tooth and never deprive myself of a sweet or trying a new cake recipe or whatever. No weight problem here……it’s all self control. BTW the muffins look great!

  30. sigh
    The muffins look de-lish.
    You rock it.

    From,
    A happy stay-at-home-mom with whatever I have and don’t have.

  31. as a sahm i think what bothered people and me personally a little bit, was the generalization that you could drop off your kids (work) off anytime and get a work out in. it’s just not like that for most of us. i am struggling more now with 2 small children than i ever did with 3 jobs. it’s this perception that makes sahm more sensitive than they need to be.

    i know you weren’t directing it at me or all sahm but when someone you adore (you) says things that hurt the core of who you are and what you do, you react.

  32. Well, Pea, I think you should be able to express your opinion on your blog. I didn’t find the post offensive. I actually thought that you are the kind of friend who is honest with her friends and tells them what you really are thinking not what they refuse to see or want to hear. This can be difficult for some people because many people tell white lies and pretend to support you, some people call it political correctness.
    I personally want you to be yourself, and especially in your blog writing. I like your honesty… and you are hilarious and a damn good baker. All other readers who don’t, can go read suck up blogs elsewhere.

  33. Oooh … I really try to stay away from the drama llama.
    It tends to spit.
    :)
    (Or am I thinking about camels?)
    It’s very strange to me that people try to tell you what you can say and not say on your own blog!

  34. @Mis-cakes- I’m sorry that I hurt the core of who you are. Not my intent at all.

  35. I read your posts always. Have never left a comment. Love your FurBabies. I’m 43 with a 23 year old son. I love to work out and love to eat. I worked part time until my son was 4. I run 5 miles a day at 5:30 a.m. on work days and work out also at a gym. I’m trying to be healthy and eat what I enjoy. Your post was not offensive. Please don’t STFU.

  36. I know you didn’t I know you were trying to be mean or insult sahm. It’s more that being a mom is who I am and not just what I do.
    I still adore you and think you should write whatever you want. I just wanted to explain why people were over reacting.

  37. WEREN’T I meant weren’t trying to be mean! Damn these mini keyboards

  38. I love when the drama llama comes out to play. It gives me much needed comic relief. :) And I am a SAHM, too.

  39. Some people are idiots.

  40. Uggg people are too sensitive. You should tell them to STFU.

  41. Nicely said Peabody. I agree with you 100%; some people just need to chill out and not get so sensitive. I saw that one woman post about how you should shut the Fire trUCK up, and honestly, I was flabbergasted that someone would say that on someone elses blog, and you weren’t even bashing stay at home moms in any way that I could see. I think she just had a few too many crayons up her butt.

    On a completely unrealted note: delicious looking muffins! As soon as October hit, I’m making these!

  42. wow. I read that post, and nowhere did I assume you were attacking SAHM’s.

    I have no children (*by choice), and it seems that with having children comes the Super Defensiveness – probably why I did’t assume and curse at you, I don’t have it. heh. many SAHM’s are FAR too defensive. More power to ya – it is a real job, that’s great! Also? you chose it, so… quit complaining.

    *and don’t ask WHY with a judging look like there’s something wrong with me. I’m just selfish. ;)

  43. One thing I enjoy about blogging is that we can say what we like, do as we like and if someone doesn’t like our point of view (well at least in my case) I simply press “delete comment”.CCBP is your place to express yourself however you choose. You go girl!!!!By the way pimpkin muffins with butterscotch chips sound to die for.

  44. Yeah, we SAHM mom’s can get sensitive for sure. I think it’s because the mom’s who work still ‘get it done’ at home too and that’s really threatening to us!

    I love staying at home and we definitely aren’t rich enough to be throwing money around for the gym and what-not. I do things like play dates, walks, gardening, watching Disney movies, playing outside and things like that. Screw money! We don’t need it to have fun. haha

  45. What’s with all this “9-5″ crap? Who gets to go in at 9 and leave at 5? Even with a half hour lunch that’s only a 7 1/2 hour work day. Man, some people are so lucky. “I” have to work 8 full hours each workday! Harumpf! LOL

  46. To celebrate my last day as a sahm (maternity leave ends Monday) I made these but with white chocolate chips (that is what I had in the house). It worked but I think that the butterscotch would be better.

    I will also not put myself up for any mother of the year awards as I am also using these as a method for getting my picky eater to consume some veggies.

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