**Screw Zombies, I am afraid of a spider apocalypse. Last night while having a bit of insomnia I upgraded my toe nails to Domestic Goddess by OPI from the chipped whatever color that was on them. While calmly doing my nails just trying to avoid dog hair…dropped from the F&*$ing sky was a spider that landed in my wet nail polish on my big toe. I’m not sure why a blood curdling scream did not spew from my mouth. I think I was past screaming. I mean here was a tiny to most/huge to me black with now a touch of purple spider squirming on my freaking toenail. I hyperventilated while the dog watched me strangely flail around and freak out. With the world’s largest wad of toilet paper I removed the spider but spent the rest of the night on the lookout for the spider paratroopers.

**If you want to hear me squeal then you should have been at the grocery store yesterday when my favorite bacon was on sale…and then there was a coupon on top of that. The freezer is FULL of bacon. Bacon and ice cream…and Jägermeister.

**I have decided that people who make socks hire people to go and steal at least one of those pairs of socks when you get home. Seriously who keeps taking all my socks??? I keep buying socks and keep having LESS socks.

**The dog is refusing to walk. When walking for three whole minutes she just sat on the sidewalk and refused to move. I need her a dog personal trainer apparently to motivate her.

**Nothing goes better with bacon than deep frying cinnamon rolls. Seriously ghetto and seriously awesome. I figure with Paula having to cook healthier there is an opening in the death queen category so I am applying. These are ghetto for the fact that I use refrigerator store bought cinnamon roll dough…don’t care, still good. I bet they would be extra awesome with homemade. But these took me all of 20 minutes and that’s what works for me. Yes you are going to want to make these. No, don’t be afraid of frying.

Deep Fried Cinnamon Rolls

Vegetable oil (enough to cover at least 2 inches of a heavy pan)

1 package refrigerator cinnamon rolls

Pour enough oil to cover at least 2 inches in the bottom of a heavy pan (I used a Le Crueset). Using a deep fry thermometer, heat oil to 350F. Do not leave unattended.

While oil is heating, open cinnamon rolls and fasten each one with a long toothpick or wooden skewer that has been cut to size. Let dough rest for 10 minutes.

Carefully place cinnamon rolls (I use tongs), one or two at a time, into the oil.

Cook for about 1 minute on each side, or until golden brown. Using a slotted spoon (or tongs), carefully lift donuts out of the oil and place onto paper towels to drain and cool completely.

I just dusted mine with powdered sugar and used the glaze it came with (I like the orange kind).