Ladies and Gentleman, Sexual Chocolate…

So I have a lot of teenage readers and I got a question through email that I originally was just going to write back to them directly and be done with it but I thought I would address it on the blog. It’s a super long email so I will just paraphrase the jest of it. Basically this girl’s parents don’t like talking about sex at all with her other than to just say don’t do it. She says that she really likes a boy and was trying to talk to her mom about it and got shot down.

I just want to say to parents that if you teen is trusting you enough to come talk to you about sex be thankful. Regardless of your feelings on it, at least hear them out as open lines of communication are especially important during the teen years. When I taught 8th grade I can’t tell you how many kids would come to me with their real life problems because they didn’t feel they could talk to their parents about it. And parents please do not use the excuse of your kid is a good kid and therefore would never do those things. I will tell you that in my years of teaching junior high that it was not the “bad” girls who got pregnant it was usually my sweet unsuspecting honor student (usually a band geek…American Pie movies weren’t that far off :D )who fell madly in love with their boyfriend that ended up with a baby on board.

When I was 15 I was head over heels in puppy love with my first real long term boyfriend. He never pressured me in any way but you know, things get heated and you have hormones and such. I went to my mother and we had a talk.

I will give the advice that my mother gave me when we talked about sex and not the this is a penis this is a vagina kind of talk. A real, honest talk. She told me that while she expected me to be wearing a white wedding dress she had hoped that I was wearing black underwear. ;) I was a little shocked but she went on to explain that she said that not everyone you fall in love with is who you marry. You will have many different types of love throughout your dating life. She told me that she knew that I would have sex before marriage (shhh, don’t tell my dad) but that she would hope/would be disappointed if I did it just because everyone else was or I did it because the boy wanted me to and I was unsure but didn’t want to lose him as a boyfriend. She told me I should be in love and to think about if I saw myself with that person in the long run.

After much decision making I figured out that this probably wasn’t the long haul boyfriend. He was going to college at the end of the year (he was a senior and I was a sophomore) and that longevity wise it wasn’t going to be working. And it didn’t. I was happy that I did not have sex with him. I didn’t feel ready and talking with my mother helped. Now if you are like my reader and can’t do that, I suggest talking to a school counselor or an older trusted friend. For those wondering, since I’m pretty honest on here…I lost my V-card when I was 18…ironically to the guy I was thinking about losing it to when I was 15. He came back and found me my freshman year of college (yes, I am special :P). That time was the right time.

While we all want to tell teenagers no, don’t have sex, we really must live in reality. If you don’t live in reality than your teen could be getting information from friends…and you don’t want that. We used to teach a sex ed class after school (parent permission) and I was shocked at how VERY wrong the kids had it. My favorite to this day is one of my honor roll boys who thought that women’s breast were like lizards…if one got chopped off, a new one would just grow back…and of course the always disturbing statistic that 99% of the girls in our class all thought you can’t get pregnant on your first time having sex.

Try and save the hate mail. I’m not saying teens run out and have sex…I’m just trying to get parents to have real conversations with their kids and never to assume their kids aren’t/won’t have sex. Give them chocolate instead and tell them often…it’s just as good. ;)

This pie kind of ranks up there if you are a chocolate and peanut butter pie lover. Save yourself some time and just buy the premade graham cracker shell. I of course used the mini shells so that each kiddo could get an individual pie (you just feel more awesome when you get your own pie). I love the use of the chocolate milk (be sure not to get the low fat kind) and just how simple in general this pie is to make.
Hope everyone had a great Pi Day…if you didn’t make a pie…it’s not too late, this one takes no time at all.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

1 ½ cups chocolate milk
1 ½ TBSP cornstarch
Pinch of salt
½ cup creamy peanut butter (I used Jif)
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
½ cup mini marshmallows
1 package mini Ready Crust (6 come in a package)

Place marshmallows, peanut butter, and chocolate chips in a large bowl. Set aside.

Using a small saucepan whisk together the chocolate milk and cornstarch. Stir in salt. Cook and stir over medium heat until the mixture thickens and boils. Cook and stir for 1 minutes more. Remove from heat.

Pour hot mixture immediately over the marshmallows, peanut butter, and chocolate chips. Let it sit for 3 minutes. Then whisk to make sure that everything has melted. The marshmallows will take a while…if they don’t melt completely that’s okay. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and put in fridge for 30 minutes.

Remove from fridge and spoon into pie shell. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours (I did mine overnight).

Top with chocolate whipped cream (1 cup heavy cream, 3 TBSP powdered sugar, 1 TBSP unsweetened cocoa powder…whipped on high until desired consistency) and mini peanut butter cups.

You can make a full size version of the pie. Just double the ingredients.


Adapted from Kellogg’s Kitchens.


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  1. I love the advice your mom gave you! She sounds like a fantastic parent.

  2. I love this advice, I wish my mom had been open to discussion but different generation, I love Lucy separate beds and all that. I hope I have the kind of relationship with my kids that when they are ready they will come to either me or hubby and talk. We do talk about almost everything at the dinner table so “fingers crossed.”

    This pie looks and sounds wonderful, I love peanut butter and chocolate, can’t wait to make, and I love that they are single serving pies!

  3. I will have to try this next time I bake a pie. I love chocolate and peanut butter together. And on the sex talk, you are absolutely right! Parents shouldn’t be ashamed to talk to their kids about anything personal, especially something as important as the sex talk. I wish my mom had when I was younger instead of just pushing me away from boys, then I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant at 19 my first time having sex (yes, I was really that stupid about sex). ;)

  4. I think this is excellent advice. I see nothing that would garner hate mail. I would add: please make sure your kid knows about the birds and the bees before they reach puberty. The earlier they know about how their bodies work, the earlier they know how to protect it–not just in terms of sex, but in every way.

  5. My husband and I just had this discussion on a getaway to Arizona this last weekend. Our kids are only 4 and 3, but we want to always be the ones that they trust with these questions, not their friends. We hope they wait until they are married. I hope that my sister placing two babies for adoption to the same couple is a deterrent to approaching sex in a casual way.

    I may have to make this for my daughters birthday. She turned three on Sunday, but since we were out of town, we are having a special mini treats 3rd birthday party this weekend. (Even though you aren’t into the big parties;)

  6. I got a good giggle out of the comment on breasts being like lizards!

    Now, those mini pies look completely irresistable… a definite must make recipe!

  7. Great advice – I never took a real sex ed class until I was in college and while that worked out for me, definitely not the best plan overall!

    Also, the title of this post made me laugh because I was recently at a wine tasting event where one of the wines was a wine called “Sexual Chocolate” made by these clearly former frat boy winemakers…the guy pouring the wine would leer at every woman who came up to their table and say “Would you like some seeeeexxxxual chocolate?” So funny!

  8. Great post, and sound advice; despite what some will say. Thankfully I grew up with open, level headed parents. Granted being male, things are a little different.
    And the pie looks insane. Though, we only have 1% chocolate milk here, was yours higher?

  9. I have to say I love this post! My children are also 4 & 3 and what your mom told you is exactly what I want to teach my children. Open communication and honesty is what they need and clearly it works. And such discussion is a PERFECT segway to the pies =) Which I may add look delish!

  10. @Adam- mine was from a local creamery so I am going to guess higher than 1%. But the marshmallows kind of add to the thickness when it sets up so you will probably be alright….that or you have sauce to go over ice cream. :)

  11. This is great advice. My mom was always open and honest with me, and I could always go to her about anything- and when I was ready, she went with me to get birth control (I was in college). I know parents (and myself, now that I have kids) don’t want to think their babies are having sex or doing those things, but odds are good that they have no idea what’s going on if they assume nothing could be.

  12. I’ve always wanted to see if putting in chocolate milk in place of regular milk would make something chocolate taste more chocolatey. You just reminded me how curious I am about that.

    Delicious looking pie. I will never tire of peanut butter.

  13. That pie looks and sounds just out of this world! I’ve never really had such a conversation with my mom…



  14. I had a conversation with my mom when I was 7 when she told me how everything worked. . .and it was never discussed again.

    The loss of my virginity at the ripe old age of 24 might have been directly correlated that that.

  15. Collette says:

    Great title and great advice. The Sexual Chocolate title took me into the way back machine. Coming to America, right?

    Wonderful common-sense advice. Be realistic, be honest, be open. I’m afraid your mother’s line might’ve stolen the show though! You’ve obviously learned from the master. So, thanks Peabody and thanks Peabody’s mom.

  16. Your mom gave you great advice. It is always upsetting when people teach abstinence only. Just because that’s all you teach doesn’t mean that’s all your children will do. Unless you like being naive and your children oblivious.

    And yes I will make love to this pie, thank you.

  17. Oh! What great great advice! Your mom rocks and so do you!

  18. Your mom: amazing and wise.

  19. Your Mom is a very wise person, and you are absolutely right about keeping lines of communication open with your children. If you do, your children will be open with you, and you will avoid serious problems, because they will come to you for advice BEFORE doing something stupid and maybe dangerous.

  20. Love your blog! Love your recipes! Love your advice! Thank you!

  21. I agree, honesty is always the best policy. I want to be open with my kids about it. I never felt comfortable going to my mom about that stuff, and I don’t want to be that way…love the “Coming to America” reference too. One of my favorites!

  22. Nope, my Mom couldn’t talk about it. I was left to my own devices…..and was determined to NOT repeat that with my children. All over 21 now. First baby on the way soon (23 and married). I’m calling it a success and moving on.

    I’ve been using chocolate almond milk since milk doesn’t like me…….. ‘Makes the BEST chocolate pudding! Love, sweet love!!! And in this with a chocolate cookie crumb crust….. I’m doomed!

  23. Love your mother’s advice. My mom wasn’t so verbose, but she was honest about choices and consequences. The best piece of advice she ever gave me was to be careful about how completely I attached myself to the the love I felt at 17. Because my definitions of love and happiness would be different when I was 27.

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