Seriously these make no sense and are in no order except for the first one the first one rules our life currently.
*This week is brought to you by the phrase: You can’t bleed a turnip.
*Reminder: I am not home all day sitting on the computer waiting for you to email me with a question. So demanding immediate response because you are in the middle of making it probably isn’t going to happen. Also, my blog will be 8 years old this year (wow) and my memory is not as good as it used to be so try not to get mad at me when you ask about a recipe from 2007 that I don’t remember if it made 24 or 28 cupcakes.
*Speaking of that I rarely put serving sizes on this blog. You know why…because that means something different for everyone. Only on cupcakes…and even then if you tend to over fill you won’t get the right amount. Almost everything I make tends to be one serving…sometimes two. 
*Lesson learned: The worst time to realize that you haven’t eaten all day is when you are sitting down to write a blog post about margaritas and you are drinking that margarita and half way through you realize…damn I’m drunk. Then proceed to keep drinking it because it’s too late now. But it did feel odd when people were calling me at 1:30pm and I tell them I’m drunk so who knows what I might say. I’d say I feel bad about that but isn’t that a perk of being a food blogger? Clearly I am justifying. 
*Dear Friends: I’m getting smaller so lots of things that didn’t fit before are fitting now. Don’t be sad when you ask where I got something and I tell you and follow up with 7 years ago. 
I did not suddenly got rich I just got to pull from the plastic storage boxes that have been sitting around for years. It’s fun to shop your closet when you forgot what you owned…I think this is what being 90 will be like…all my clothing will be new to me every day.
*This reader had a GREAT response to my last post. Which again I got a crap ton of hate mail for promoting Cesar Milan which was NOT the point of my post at all…at least one person got that:
I usually don’t comment much, but this post really hit home. My future mother-in-law (we’re getting married in September) and I don’t really get along and she has said/done some pretty hurtful things to me. You made me realize that I am part of the problem, and I need to accept her for the way she is and love her for all the good things she does in order for us to get past MY issues with her.
Thank you so much for posting this. And to the people who attacked Cesar Milan, please re-read the post and perhaps find somewhere in your life where you are being the problem and work to fix that. Peabody brought up Cesar as an example to support the larger point of her whole post, and you’re focusing on a tree rather than the whole forest.
Seriously peeps it was just a post about sometimes the issue is with you and maybe stop the blaming and own up.
*Speaking of hate mail I won’t reveal who won Top Chef I will just say I’m very happy about it. Ironically I forgot to tape the episode and missed it. 
And now need to find it online. I had to go looking for spoilers…oh the irony.
*I made these awhile back and stupid me thought I put them on the blog. I did not. I put them on Instagram and today someone emailed asking if I was ever going to put the recipe up! Thanks for the nudge I totally spaced. Which would be a crime because these were INSANELY good. Like I don’t care if I became 1500 pounds as long as people kept feeding me these kind of good. I don’t know what it is about maple and bacon that is sooo good, but it is. And then add sugar and dough. Hello!
Have a good rest of the weekend!
Bacon Breakfast Rolls with Maple Glaze
1/2 cup granulated sugar
6 TBSP brown sugar
Sweet Dough (recipe below)
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, warm room temperature (Around 125 grams)
1 pound (yeah that’s right one pound) bacon, cooked (crispy will work best for this) and crumbled
Maple Glaze (recipe below)
To make the rolls:
Whisk both sugars together.
Turn cold Sweet Dough out onto floured surface; sprinkle with flour.
Divide dough in half. Roll out dough to two 38 x 30 -cm rectangles (I rolled it out super, super thin because I wanted mini ones so that I could justify eating more of them. But at some point you have to say eating 10 rolls, mini or not, is just not justifiable…not that I would know ).
Using fingers spread the butter evenly over each rectangle. Sprinkle ½ sugar mixture and half of the bacon over each. Starting at 1 long side of each dough rectangle, tightly roll up dough jelly-roll style, enclosing filling. Using a piece of butcher’s twine, cut each roll crosswise into fifteen 1-inch-thick slices. (See image below, otherwise, use a sharp knife). Arrange 15 dough slices (I had many more as I made tiny ones but honestly I think bigger would be better with these) in the baking dish, spacing evenly apart.
Cover with plastic wrap; let rise in warm draft-free area until buns are puffy and doubled, about 1 hour 45 minutes.
Bake buns at 375F until deep golden brown, about 25 minutes (mini ones took about 15). Let buns stand 2 minutes. The cover with glaze and say goodbye to your skinny jeans!
Sweet Dough:
1 cup warm whole milk
2 envelopes (4 ½ tsp.) active dry yeast
1/4 tsp. plus 2/3 cup granulated sugar
3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 tsp. salt
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
Stir milk, yeast, and 1/4 tsp. sugar in small bowl. Let stand until mixture bubbles, about 6 minutes. Stir again.
Using a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment add the flour and salt and mix on low speed just to combine.
Add yeast mixture to the flour and mix on medium-low speed until dry shaggy mass forms, scraping down bowl occasionally, about 2 minutes. This will look weird do not panic. Well you can panic but not about this save it for Global Warming or something like that.
Add egg and egg yolk and beat on medium speed until well blended. Then add the sugar and beat until moist soft dough that resembles thick batter forms, about 3 minutes.
Add butter by 1 TBSP at a time and beat on medium-low speed until almost incorporated before adding more, about 2 minutes (dough will be sticky). Beat dough on medium-high 2 minutes longer.
Scrape dough out onto work surface; gather together. Place in large bowl that is oiled or buttered. Cover with plastic wrap; let rise at room temperature until almost doubled, about 2 hours. Punch dough down; cover with plastic wrap and chill overnight.
Recipe slightly adapted from Dorie Greenspan the almighty!
Maple Glaze:
2 TBSP unsalted butter
1/4 cup pure (seriously don’t bust out the Mr. Buttersworth) maple syrup
1 ¼ cup powdered sugar
In a small saucepan, melt butter and syrup together over medium heat. Whisk powdered sugar into hot mixture until smooth. Let cool slightly…if too thick add a little more maple syrup. Pour over rolls.
This looks amazing…and heart-stopping! I’ve had bacon-wrapped dates before and bacon chocolate muffins but never this. I should give it a try.
Cheers!
Gorgeous rolls! I really like the addition of bacon. Yummy!
Cheers,
Rosa
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD.
To heck with trying to eat healthy, I need these in my life. Like, now. Yep, you’re right, bacon makes everything better… especially when there’s maple syrup involved. ^_^
The posts with lots of random stuff are my fav. My head works in random lists like this. <3
Uhm I would like to point out I would love to take a bath in that glaze, just sayin’.
And I love your random posts, they make me smile, well all of your posts do, but the random ones are just special
Dang…..I can’t eat the rolls but I WILL be finding something to smother in that glaze!!! Maybe my gluten-free pumpkin cake?!?!?!? Gotta happen!!
Oh man even this Jew can’t resist bacon rolls!
Do you just have a ton of crazy readers, or do all bloggers deal with all the backlash you seem to? I admire you for continuing to speak your mind ,and even to blog, with all the unpleasantness you seem to get! I’m a vegetarian so I wouldn’t add the bacon to these, but oh my gosh they look incredible!
These look like the most amazing thing. I am going grocery shopping today, and I strongly suspect that the ingredients for these will end up in my cart!
Also, it saddens me that a blog this awesome seems to attract crazy commenters. Silly people need to learn to breathe and enjoy the yummyness and relax.
@caely- I find that the bloggers that are opinionated attract the crazies
These definitely look amazing. Thanks for all the great posts, and ignore the people that can’t contain themselves from trying to write stupid or hurtful things. You rock.
Yay! I remember when you posted a picture of this and I’ve been anxiously waiting the appearance of the recipe.
I am sooo tempted right now to type who won Top Chef just because of how whiny people were on that post of yours. But I won’t. I enjoyed the finale and knew I’d be happy either way, but I didn’t really like the format of the show. Wasn’t really into the Iron Chef feel on TC, but maybe that’s just me.
Anyway, those rolls look so freaking good. At some point, I’m going to have to conquer using yeast outside of a bread maker!
I am seriously in love with these rolls!
Blogging definitely adds a level of entertainment to your life. I love when people don’t read what you wrote and then feel the need to comment in a way that tells you that they did not read. When I first started blogging, I cared what people say. Now, I love the great comments and really love the stupid ones for a good laugh.
My boys would go crazy over these! They look amazing!
Thank you from the bottom of my bacon/maple lovin’ heart!
Getting my grocery list together to make these! I’ve been known to need stronger eyeglasses but did I miss the spice that is suppose to be on the spiced sweet dough?
(It wouldn’t be the first time I missed what was right in front of me!)
@Tina- no spice. The original recipe had spice in it and I removed the spice….but not from the title apparently.
This is the most creative thing I’ve seen in a very long time!
Can’t wait to try these.I’m already trying to think of other things to us the maple glaze on.
Peabody,
These look sooo good. The sweet and salty combination is wonderful.
Annamaria
This looks so good; I was inspired to try it! But I didn’t have any bacon
Here is the story, enjoy!
Elizabeth
http://foodpantryfeasts.blogspot.com/2013/03/breakfast-rolls.html
These are INCREDIBLE. We had the first pan gone before the second pan even came out of the oven. We also tried drizzling maple syrup directly over the rolls in place of the glaze, which we actually liked better since it cut down on the sweetness a little. This recipe is a keeper!
A few days late but WOW. Many people don’t understand my love affair with the perfectly sweet and salty maple-bacon combination, but evidently you do! I recently started reading your blog and I love it! Thanks for all this advice about cooking and life! Keep it up!
Our son & family is spening the weekend with us. I had a very challenging week prior to their arrival..so I “cheated” and bought store donuts. Our son asked me had I ever eaten a maple bacon one. Umm??n, umm..never even heard of one. Everyone is doing thier own thing for a little while(me??? catching up on e-mails,which of course rabbit trails me to.. what else but PINTEREST .The next thing I know ,here I am looking at your yummy looking recipe for what looks much more efficient than maple donutes , I’ll try these sometime.