Summer is coming…

Summer is coming and try as I might I simply won’t be able to keep up with all the ThinSpo. I have been on a pinning crusade to Pin Positive Body Image posts for every ThinSpo pin I see…and well I am seeing a lot of them. Everybody wants a thigh gap…guess what? That has to do with your hip bone placement more than starving yourself. Everybody wants to be bikini ready. Technically I’m bikini ready…I own a bikini and it fits….bikini ready. Pins saying “I’m not going to be perfect but I’m sure as hell going to get close”…who decides what perfect is? Sadly I think most people are letting society define that for them instead of themselves. Sadly even me asking if people where in a sugar coma today led people to feel to tell me that they were but they were going to sweat it all out at the gym. We don’t need to justify why and what we eat.

Since I started my crusade I have been getting a lot of really nice emails and PM’s telling me how much they support and appreciate me pinning what I am pinning (surprisingly not an ounce of hate mail…just email asking for nude photos which I take as an odd compliment). And telling me how they really wish they could have the body confidence I do. I wish you all could have that too…that’s why I keep trying. But I am here to tell you that I was not always like this of course. But how did I get that way?

I can’t really say there were defining moments so to speak. For me it was mostly coming to terms with an illness that I have (and do not share on here, respect my choice please) that often has me on a lot of Prednisone. If you have never been on it then you cannot relate. But if you have then you know it immediately fills you up with fluid and you are hungry ALL. THE. TIME. When my mom had cancer they put her on Prednisone. Up to that point she would say oh just eat healthy (I was gaining weight big time and was not happy when I first went on it) and I would explain that I was eating healthy but 6 chicken breast was still a lot of calories. It only took her three days on it to call and tell me how the heck do you deal with this? That I was on 4 times the amount she was on and she was starving. Yep. You just get used to it. And you get used to the idea that part of why my weight fluctuates is because of the medication I take. But part of it I fully admit is the food I eat as well. :)

Since I am on the medication often (like right now) when I am not on it I do try and diet down a bit mostly so I can stay in the wardrobe that I have…it’s an economical thing for me over a vanity thing. One of the first times I was off Prednisone I was a mad dieting fool. I probably had exercise anorexia often being at the gym 4-5 hours a day. And no matter how badly I starved myself down I would not go down a dress size. Oh I had gone down a ton of pants size but no matter what I could not go below a size 10 in a dress. I was a size 4 in jeans but could not do it. I had bought myself a “motivation” dress that I hung on my closet door. I became obsessed with getting into that dress. Out of frustration I went to my doctor thinking he would have some magical answer /solution for me as to why this was happening. He did. Remove some of my ribs. I looked at him with an are you kidding me look and he said that’s the only way you are going to get into the dress you are talking about. That my rib cage was not going to change size. He asked me if I was wearing a smaller size in dresses that were not structured (the dress I was obsessed with was very structured). The answer was yes. He told me I simply just picked the wrong dress. The same thing happened when I bought my first wedding dress. They measured me and the woman looked up and said you have the waist size of a bridal 10, hips are a 6, but that my rib cage was a 16 and they would have to order me a 16. Lucky for me I was well into body acceptance and told the girl okay. It came in and fit in the ribs…and I was swimming in the rest. I can’t change my ribs, I just have to accept them.

Fat is relative. Not matter what size you are someone out there would love to be your size. Really. I am considered fat by today’s standards. I mean I shop at regular stores I am not plus size but I think society would call me fat. I mean plus size models are now a size SIX through a size 12!!!! Ummm, WTF? A size 8 was what the great supermodels of the 80’s were. Cindy Crawford back then would have been fat in today’s standard. I would much rather look like 1980’s Cindy Crawford than the models of today. So my size 10/12 body is considered fat in the industry. We are made to believe we are fat because people profit off of people being miserable if they don’t think they are living up to the standards the beauty experts put out for you . If you become happy with yourself as you are they don’t make money. Diet pill pushers can’t get you to spend hundreds of dollars a month in the hopes that you might drop a few pounds. Hair is curly? Go spend $300 to make it flat because flat hair is what is considered beautiful right now. Getting wrinkles? Run out and spend $200 on eye cream that doesn’t really help but it helps the company make $200 each time you buy eye cream. Now don’t get me wrong I am all for people wearing make up(I do) and doing their hair how they want (I get mine colored) but I recognize that part of why I do it is because it’s what society has made us to believe we do to be pretty. People are always going to try and put us down because happy people don’t buy stuff to compensate for what they feel is missing in their life. Happy people are content with who they are and what they have.

 

These supermodels would now most likely be made fun of for not being toned and for being too big. I doubt they have a thigh gap. These ladies are beautiful!

My fat body played hockey three times last week. My fat body did pilates three times last week. It went for several walks and a couple workouts at the gym. It ate some healthy stuff and it ate far more Easter candy than I probably should have. Should I punish myself for eating more Robin’s Eggs than I should have? No. I’m not weak because I ate that. It’s what I wanted at the time. It tasted good. And no I don’t believe that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. You know what feels good? The feeling after a hockey game that I have played well. Sprawling out on fresh clean sheets out of the dryer when they are still just a tad warm. Being kissed by the man you love. Having my dog rest her head on my leg and look up with those sweet puppy eyes. That’s what feels good. Skinny never feels like that. I can tell you that if you don’t like who you are now…you aren’t going to like who you are skinnier…you just might like your wardrobe more. Gee, how awesome.

I will say however if you are “fat” and have health issues related to that then yes, you need to do something about that. I have always been fortunate that my numbers for all the important vitals have always been really good. Just like with anything. If you are diabetic take medication for it. If you have a mental illness take medication for that (this is hard since most mentally ill people feel that they don’t need the medication). And if you have high blood pressure, cholesterol, anything where losing a few pounds might help…try that first before going on medication with all sorts of side effects.

So there you go. My rambling on about how I came to terms with the body I have. The body I appreciate. The body with a large tummy that expands even if I just drink water. The body with scars from having chicken pox when I was 17. The body with my short waist and muscular legs. The body with my chunky arms. The body with beautiful eyes. The body with way too many allergies. The only body I get. The only body I have to love.

I’ve tried to find the source of this last photo. If you know the original source please tell me and I will happily credit them.

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Comments

  1. I’ve said it before, but you’re awesome. And so right! Our society is obsessed with the numbers: your size, your weight, etc. I’ve been on prednisone too, and man, that is no fun. And there really isn’t anyway to counteract it! Luckily I’ve been able to slowly get in shape lately for the first time in years, but I had to stop looking at the scale, cuz guess what: when you replace nothing-but-flab with muscle, you don’t actually lose tons of weight! Took me 27 years to figure out that my clothes size means nothing. I hope lightbulbs are turning on for people reading your posts, cuz you’re inspirational!

  2. Thank you for writing this! I love this post! I’ll never be bikini ready but I’ve come to accept that and accept what my body looks like now while I’m working on a healthier one. I’ve lost 100 lbs with the aid of weight loss surgery and still going. I will never look like those models and I didn’t care too, I just want to be healthy and be able to do what I want. I’m slowly getting there. I’m still a big girl right now but try to have a lot of confidence because when I do I’m much happier and for be being happy leads to being healthy.

  3. Thanks for the reminder Peabody!!

    You rock, as always :)

  4. LOVE this post – you are awesome and I totally needed to hear this today!

  5. Peabody says:

    @Jessica- and that’s really the thing! Learning to love your body as you have it now while working towards a healthier you! Keep it up!

  6. This is what I need to hear today, but then again getting a good mind frame is the hard part. Thank you for this post.

  7. As a 2 year recovered anorexic, seeing this post really made me stop and think. While I no longer starve myself, I, like any other teenage girl out there sometimes struggle with my self-confidence. Your posts inspire me to remember tht I am more than just a number. I am a fun loving daughter, student, and athlete and I need to remember that I am beautiful inside and out. Thanks so much Peabody!

  8. Melissa says:

    I think I have a pretty good self confidence…i stay my size simply because I don’t want to buy new ones. I like being a size 8, I will never be thin- ever. I have accepted that years ago. I have a wide back, always have. Caused me to always buy a bigger size. I remember breaking down in high school in a dressing room, because I couldn’t get the dresses to zip, bigger and bigger and bigger. I freaked out. From that day on, I never bought a prom (or any) dress in a store. Luckily my mom is an excellent seamstress and she never told me what size she made me. I also have huge boobs, and never lose them, which doesn’t help when coupled with my wide back. Thank God for my mom!

  9. Thank you for writing this! It is a message that truly needs to be conveyed again and again.

  10. Peabody says:

    @melissa- I’m jealous that your mom can sew!

  11. /big cheers!

  12. Christine says:

    Great post! I don’t know when this “thigh gap” trend became such a thing but it’s getting ridiculous!

  13. HeatherS says:

    I love what you’re doing. I would pin all of these billboards to your board: http://www.beautyredefined.net/newsroom/roadside-beauty-redefined/

    I also love their website. Lots of anti-thinspo, fitspo and PRO loving yourself no matter what you look like. They also talk about when we truly love ourselves, we actually care more about taking care of ourselves. We often eat better simply because we want to take care of our bodies and be able to be active and work our bodies in a way that just feels good. Anyway, I love that you are using your blog to get this message out to more people!

  14. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!! I am struggling with this so much right now, especially after having two kids and the changes my body has gone thru. I need to be more confident in myself, and all that my body can do, and has done

  15. Such an awesome post! I have been enjoying your pins as well… keep them coming! We all need to love the body we have and all we are capable of doing because of it!

  16. Katie Rose says:

    My husband and I always laugh when we see or hear the ridiculous “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” saying. I can’t help but think that they must be a really horrendously bad cook. The only reason I’m consciously trying to lose this postpartum weight is for your above mentioned economic reasons, I can’t afford a new wardrobe and most of my maternity clothes don’t fit either (too big). Hmm, I could always do the opposite and grow back into my maternity clothes… ;-)

  17. I love this post and I am going to get my daughters to read it too. I try so hard to emphasize a healthy routine – eat a balanced diet and get some exercise – to them but the constant bombarding from the media is overwhelming. People come in all different sizes, and it would be awfully boring if we were all the same.

  18. I like to cross out “skinny feels” so that it reads, “Nothing tastes as good as cake.” That’s pretty much all you need to say. I’m never going to be thin again. I might as well enjoy myself.

  19. I work in advertising. We retouch. A LOT. I’ll never forget a photo shoot for a tanning lotion. Gorgeous Amazonian blond model that would turn any man’s head. Client forced us to retouch her photo to make her thighs, waist and upper arms much thinner. Smooth out her bikini in a way that it can’t sit on a human being. Elongate her fingers and give her long nails. Make her skin flawless and hairless. When we were done with her, her own mother wouldn’t have recognized her. We live in a very stupid society.

  20. Love this. This post is exactly what girls and women need to read as a reminder about themselves and their bodies. We are who we are, built differently and unless you’re happy at your core no matter what you weigh or what happens to you in life you’re not going to be happy.

    Thanks again as always. It’s all about balance. Thank you for your anto thinspo pins.

  21. You are awesome and your Pinterest campaign is awesome. More people need to read this post and realise there is nothing wrong with their bodies.

  22. You are a true gift to the internet, Peabody!

    I can totally relate to the prednisone effect. I once begged my doctor to try something else first because it gives me an insatiable appetite. She laughed and said “just don’t eat more than usual” to which I replied “you’ve obviously never been on this dose before”.

    Thank you for sharing your inspiring story with all of us.

  23. Thank you for writing this; I needed a little reminder.

  24. Stephanie says:

    I have a sister-in-law that looks me dead in the eye and tells me that she hates when her thighs brush together and this compels her to work out. No matter how much I work out I will never have thighs that don’t brush against each other. I guess that’s just the way I am built. I long to say to her “I guess your Mom never taught you that if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Thanks for this post.

  25. As someone who has also been on prednisone I can relate. However I was very excited to learn recently that there is a new steroid out called entocort that is similar to prednisone but without the side effects. I am on it now and have not had any problems (I looked like a chipmunk on prednisone). I am not sure if it is an option for you (IBD) but hopefully there is relief in sight.

  26. Great post! I agree on all accounts and wish more people felt the same.

  27. I can’t help but think that you must have a gorgeous smile. It just feels that way, call me strange. According to the media, no one is ever good enough. Thanks for reminding us that’s not true.

  28. This is by far and away one of the most well written posts on the subject that I have ever read. Thank you Peabody for your words. I truly hope that many people read them and understand the message. Thank you.

  29. Such a wonderfully inspiring post :) you’re awesome! Keep it up!

  30. Rachel M says:

    This is so beautiful. This is something I needed to hear years ago and only just recently began to understand. But honestly, even if I heard it years ago I’m not sure I would understand. Regardless, I want you to know this is exactly what I want ever woman I know to read.
    Before I ever even went through puberty my thighs hugged each other, while being considered a “thin” child. Through highschool my friends would tell me I was thin, but my wide hips and legs convinced me they were lying. It didn’t help that I wore the same sized bra since I was in 5th grade, and felt like I would never get out of an a-cup, even into my early 20′s. I never fit my body. I moved awkwardly, and thought I was fat even though I always easily fit in small sized clothing. I never did anything about it, but I never felt good about it either. I’m so happy to say that years afterwards and 3 years into marriage and 12 weeks into pregnancy I finally feel good in my body. I have more padding on my body than I ever have before and I finally feel like I fit. I wish I would have known that before.
    I wish I knew someone wise enough to share your words with me so many years ago. Someone that would look me in the eye and say “You’re not meant to be model skinny! You will feel better about everything if you accept that and, what do ya know, your body will even look better! And truth be told, that is the most beautiful thing you can hope to achieve.”. Sorry to ramble. You’ve just got me all excited!

  31. Truely inspiring. I have really beens struggling with body image lately, not because I am an unhealthy weight or because I have weight associated health problems, but because I am not the size or body style of Jillian Michaels. I have really been trying to come to terms with my body and to love myself for who I am, despite what the scale says and what my waist measures. After finishing high school and entering college, I lost a lot of weight. I loved the feeling I got when people noticed all my hard work and I think I sort of got addicted to that feeling. Once I got down to a healthy size and weight, I missed that feedback and became paranoid about weight gain. As a result, I was restrictive during the week, but weekends led to uncontrolable bingeing, after which I would loath looking in the mirror. I completely lost my healthy respect for food or any sort of boundries about what normal eating was. I am working on bettering my mindset toward food, but it is people like you who I find really helpful in accepting myself the way that I am. Thanks for being so inspiring and for helping people like me to reinforce the mindset that worth is not determined by your clothing size or by your ab definition. :)

  32. Thank you for saying this. I, like so many others, have a huge self confidence issue. I have good days and bad days and am TRYING to do better. ILast year someone posted this artilcle on facebook
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html

    It’s about how you should always take pictures with your family and friends, because one day you or they won’t be there and you can’t get those photo memories back. So many of us shy away from taking pictures with our kids and family or friends because we think we look ugly or its a ‘bad’ picture because you can see all my ‘flaws’. Reading the article last year made me cry because I realized I had been avoiding pictures with my baby girl. I had lots with everyone else, but not many with her and myself. I was always the one ‘behind’ the camera to avoid having my picture taken. I try to do better but it’s been such a struggle since elementary school. Thanks for being such a positive influence on us your readers and making us want to do better for ourselves. HUGS!!!

  33. I think the problem is not that we as women are striving for that “perfect” size… but that society puts women’s bodies under a microscope in a way they don’t do for men. Society seems to care less these days about what we think or say than what we look like, and that is a huge problem. So, fat, thin, conventionally pretty or “ugly” — women should stop caring about those things and start cultivating the things that matter: mind and character. After all, our bodies will disappear one day, unlikely to be remembered. If you’re lucky, though, the things you DO in this life will be remembered. I don’t remember my grandmother because she was a beautiful woman (although I think she was). I remember her because she was kind, had an awesome sense of humor, and always took care of her kids and grandkids. (And she was a wonderful cook! I would happily get fat on her food if she were around to cook it.) I remember my best friend, who was killed by a drunk driver almost 4 years ago, not because she was pretty, but because she told the best stories and had such wonderful passion and dedication to her interests.

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