Envy this….

Let me start off by saying that this post will probably get me hate mail but it’s something that has been grating on me for a while now. Envy. As in the people who say they want a body that others will envy.

Quite a few people I know have the mentality that they want to work out and get hot so that other people (aka women) will see them and be jealous of them and say wow I wish I had her body. The next time you want that feeling please re-word it to say gee I want women to see me and feel like crap about themselves because that is essentially what you are wishing on them. You are hoping they will see your rock hard abs that you gave up eating sugar, carbs, alcohol, etc and wish they were you. And people wonder why women don’t get along with each other?

I used to be that way. I remember one of the times I lost weight. It wasn’t because I was really wanting to lose weight but my good friend who was larger than me started losing a bunch of weight and (here’s a real honest moment for me to admit) I panicked that if she lost more weight than me I would be the fat one. Wow. What a craptastic person I was in my 20’s. So I lost weight. A lot of it. I starved myself down good, it became a contest to me. I was fitting into any outfit I want and getting compliments left and right. And I was miserable. I hated going out to eat because I couldn’t eat anything I wanted to eat. I hated going out for drinks because I didn’t want to risk drinking too much and ending up at a Taco Bell at 2am making poor choices. I didn’t want to get naked for anyone because I had loose skin (in my mind) from losing weight. I didn’t enjoy hockey as much because I wouldn’t eat beforehand (aka properly fuel my body) and therefore never had energy during the game. But I didn’t dare eat before because hockey helped me burn 500-700 calories a game…and therefore I could lose more weight and get more compliments. I could be envied.

Then one day when working hard with my trainer he commented about what would be a considered an out of shape woman and said to me “she’s wishing she was you right now, make every woman want to be you”. I kind of lost it on the guy…I’m guessing from lack of eating. It hit me like a ton of bricks at that point. That I have the body that I supposedly wanted because my life would be so awesome if I had it but reality was that I had that body because of jealousy of a supposed friend, competitiveness towards other women, and let’s face it pretty low self-esteem. That was my last session with that trainer. I actually went over and helped the women (first time at the gym) find equipment and showed her how to use it. I then went and became an ACE certified personal trainer and did my best to help people get in shape for the right reasons.

I think most weight loss is for envy. When I worked as a Weight Watchers Leader we had tons of people who would sign up because they had a high school reunion to go to. That what would people say if they now saw them fat? I see friends from high school on Facebook now and I don’t think oh my look how old and fat they look. I don’t think that bitch still looks so young. I think wow look at how accomplished they are. My friends from high school are seriously doing amazing things with their lives. That’s what I notice. If you have “friends” from high school who want to gossip that you packed on 15 pounds since they saw you last you really don’t need to be giving a flying you know what about their opinion anyway, they don’t sound like good people.

I hear day after day from people I’m losing weight for me. I’m not sure I totally buy that fully. Some people are truly losing weight for health. Some people are losing weight because they think it will help them in the dating scene (but then that becomes for someone else). Some people are losing weight because they want to improve at their sport. Me come October when I do the full Live More Weigh Less program again will actually try to lose weight this time around (even though I lost last time without trying) for economical reason. Economical? Yep, I have a ton of cute clothing one size down that is just sitting there saying hi, wear me. But to be honest I’m good looking now and my opinion matters most. MDP’s matters second and I already know he thinks I’m beautiful.

So lose weight if you are wanting to. But don’t put off doing things until you lose weight. And really reflect WHY you are wanting to lose the weight. To make an ex-boyfriend jealous? That’s not for you and screams low self-esteem. So that you are thinner than you ex-husbands wife/girlfriend. Again, that’s not for you and again screams low self-esteem. So that you’ll get a boyfriend? Relationships (at least the ones worth having) are not all about how you look. Know that you are worth more than what you weigh!

Climbing off the soapbox now to bring you Snickerdoodle Peach Pie Cupcakes. I had make Peach Pie Milkshakes for Tablespoon and had leftover pie filling and decided that it would go well in a snickerdoodle cupcake. I was right by the way. Anyone who ate one was like OMG, OMG, OMG. So yeah, they are good. The peach pie filling just takes it to a whole new level. You can use either box mix if you are in a rush or use the recipe for cupcakes I used. Yes, the little snickerdoodle on top is overkill….but overkill is always the way to go.

And totally not related but yesterday was National Dog Day so you know I had to give a shout out to Crazy Cocker Spaniel. We all went for a 4 hour hike on Sunday and she was the BEST trooper.

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  1. Gorgeous cupcakes! Ever so decadent.

    I don’t care what people think of me or how other’s look as my well-being is what counts. Yes, certain people’s attitude is crappy…



  2. An utterly fantastic message. SO SO SO true. Why so many women want to bring each other down is beyond me. I get comments, some quite rude about my weight (slender) that makes me sad for them, being unhappy in their own skin they feel the need to try to slam me for eating healthy. Why not eat what you want, focus on working out and doing activities that speak to you and live your life and love yourself.

    Thanks Pea. Oh and the recipe looks good too!

  3. What an eye-opener. I’m 4 months post-partum and have been so down on how I look. I know I need to knock it off but I’m 15lbs over where I was when I got pregnant and for some reason I can’t stop thinking about my weight. I just brought life into the world… a life that doesn’t care about those 15lbs. My husband thinks I’m beautiful and my baby loves me. What else do I need? Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself and remember who I’m losing the weight for.

  4. @Coco- yes! Your baby (congrats by the way) and your husband are not focusing on those pounds right now. And I understand your wanting to get back to where you were but 4 months is actually a short time. You are adjusting to a lot of new things in your life. Enjoy the little life you created and definitely be kinder to yourself. Celebrities that bounce back so quickly make me sad as it gives women an unrealistic expectation. Most don’t have nannies, trainers, nor a job where they have to slim down for. I loved that Kate Middleton came out of the hospital showing off her post-partum bump. I was like good for her!

  5. Wow, peach and snickerdoodle? I would never have thought of that but it looks incredible. Can’t wait to try!

  6. It’s true! And I loves me some Princess Kate :)

  7. Wow I thankfully have not heard any woman say that before. I would have to restrain myself from slapping them if I do ever hear it.

  8. I really hope no one sends you hate mail for this, because you are completely correct in everything you say and I admire you so much for your honesty about your past attitude and what it took to change it! That’s great that you yelled at the trainer and helped the woman. Good for you! The world needs more people like you. :) I know my self-esteem still isn’t where it should be. I lost a lot of weight, for health reasons and for vanity, but the problem was/is I didn’t know how to stop and I completely shot past healthy and went down the road to way-too-skinny. I’m still trying to come back to healthy. Thank you for your encouragement and positivity to all your readers!

  9. Peaches and cinnamon are a classically delicious combination, and snickerdoodles are the most known cinnamon cookie, and when you can put something in cake frosting why wouldn’t you, but this…this combines all three concepts. And here my mouth is watering and I have no peaches. Heading for the shopping list. :)

    When I started starving to lose weight, it was for a lot of different (all not good) reasons, but never did it cross my mind to lose weight to make other women envy me. It strikes me as selfish and actually very cruel to think about it that way. It’s essentially building themselves up by tearing others down. How cold of a reason for someone to abuse their body into shape. I admire you for admitting you once thought that way, and I’m so happy that you addressed it in a post.

  10. Hi

    How many cupcakes do this recipe make.

  11. 16-20 depending on how full you fill

  12. Wow, You should really be a motivational speaker!!!! That was wonderful!!! I gained 12 lbs this summer….vacation!!! I am still with WW and occasionally go to a gym, but now hired a trainer… I need to get back on track. I will make these cupcakes when I lose my 12lbs!!

  13. I grew up with a disordered eating mother who called herself fat when she was 110 lbs and 5’11”. We NEVER had sweets or junk food in the house and when I discovered them in middle school I also discovered the simultaneous joy and pain of binge eating. When I hit puberty and started getting curves I freaked out. My mother is built like a ballerina – long and lean with no curves. I am not. It took me YEARS to reconcile my perception of the “perfect” body and what my genes gave me. I cycled through starvation, binge/purge, binge/binge/binge, and excessive exercising before finally coming to terms and accepting who I am exactly as I am today. I am no longer a size 2, but I also no longer fear food. Unfortunately, the damage to my body is done and some things just can’t be reversed. I carry these “scars” with me as a reminder of my battles and to never hate myself so much again.

    Gwyn; you missed the whole point of Peabody’s post. You don’t have to wait to lose 12 lbs to enjoy a cupcake. You can make the cupcakes, eat one, and share the rest. It’s all about moderation and NOT punishing yourself for who you are and where you are today.

  14. You can enjoy healthy foods and have treats now and then – that’s “ok”. It’s good to ENJOY your food! We all should be helping each other not spend our days trying to cut each other down to appear better. When we lift someone else up, everyone wins! Great blog and lovely recipe!

  15. I love your blog Peabody because of your honesty. There are many great food blogs out there but they don’t write like you do. I guess you get hate mail because people just can’t take the truth. I have gone vegan several months ago but I have a sweet tooth. My husband looked at me one day and just said that life is too short to not enjoy a good cupcake and he is so right!

  16. Peabody,
    These cupcakes look so yummy. Too bad all the peaches from my peach tree are gone. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been right now and I hate it but I think it has to do with age more than anything else. It pisses me off but I can’t seem to lose the weight this time around. Oh well.


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