Improving Yourself While Loving Yourself…


People often confuse my message of Love Yourself to mean that you shouldn’t do anything to change (if you want)….some also are Googling for inappropriate stuff ( ;) ). This is not the case. My message of self-love and acceptance is one of realization. The realization that you are amazing just the way you are and to stop feeding yourself lies in your head that you are anything but.

I often get apology emails from avid readers who will apologize for going on a diet. Ummm, you may diet if you like and I’m not a diet priest looking for confession out of you. My issue with diets is how obsessed one can become. I can’t diet. If I diet it takes over my every thought. I can no longer enjoy foods. I weigh myself 5 times a day and freak out when the number goes up because you know I ate that day. Thoughts that if I eat something “bad” that I must now go to the gym for hours and burn it off because I am weak and suck and must be punished. If I lose weight it usually is never enough, often thinking gee the last time I lost weight I lost 5 pounds the first week this time only 2…I suck. If I gained weight that of course was even worse. When I was a WW I was at the point where I am sure I was only eating about 500 calories a day…so of course if I ate a normal amount of food I started to gain weight since my body was used to only living off of 500 calories. I messed up my metabolism big time. But even worse I messed up my mind.

Think of all the time you spend thinking/judging what you ate? How many of you are pigging out because come Thursday you are going to get in shape and 2014 is the year you finally get the body you want? If you are planning to diet starting this New Year I encourage you to start slow. I know, I know if you don’t see results right away you won’t stay motivated. The national average for staying strict on a diet is 2 weeks FYI so motivation is going away most likely any way. So why not make small changes? Science has shown small changes over time have a bigger impact. Same goes for the gym. Don’t run to the gym on Thursday and try and do a 2 hour work out (especially if you don’t normally workout). You will burn out or get hurt and then after a couple of times stop going. Studies have shown all it takes is FIVE times of doing an exercise to make it routine….the length of time doesn’t matter. So instead of going gung ho why not start off with going to the gym for 20 minutes? Do that 5 times and you are more likely to continue going and you can increase from there if you would like. (P.S. not a doctor and not offering medical advice…just thoughts).

But while you are making all these changes be kind to yourself….love yourself. If you don’t make it to the gym that day don’t tell yourself you are weak and can’t do it (remember the gym is for getting in shape…weight loss is mostly diet). If you ate more cookies than you wanted don’t beat yourself up. Figure out why you ate 5 cookies (other than the obvious they tasted good) and work on changing that. 2014 is the year I want people to share their gifts with the world. You can’t share your gifts if you are putting yourself down. If you can’t figure out what your gifts are start with asking your friends. Send them an email asking them 3-5 things that they think of when they think of you. FYI my friends when asked this said I was Genuine, Sincere, Witty, Loyal, and Creative. I’ll take that. :)

Cheers to you my readers and all you have to offer the world! All the best to you and yours as we start 2014!
P.S. If you are planning on dieting I highly suggest reading

The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure, Energy, and Weight Loss *note this is an Amazon Affliate link

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  1. Very well said!!!! Thanks

  2. I totally agree with what you said. I think one of the hardest things about dieting for people is patience. It’s healthy to lose about 2 lb. per week, and for a lot of people that just isn’t fast enough. They don’t want to see the scale creeping, creeping, creeping down slowly. They want to lose weight and they want to lose it NOW. What? You mean I have to go to the gym five times to make it a routine? But I want to go once and suddenly be She-Ra, princess of POWER!

    The other hard part is when they are on a good diet and the weight starts creeping down, then it starts…stalling because they went out to lunch with their friend…creeping down…leaping up because they went on vacation to Maui and pigged out…creeping, creeping…shooting up because it’s Christmas and Christmas calories don’t count, creeping down, and what do you know, they’re at their original weight and they want to tear their hair out because they feel like they agonized over it and it got them nowhere. Diet has a D for Dedication. The E can stand for Eating right, Exercising, or Everything in moderation – in the end, you’ve still got to stick to it if you want it. And if it makes you unhappy? Change what you’re doing or change how you look at yourself. Maybe there’s a better method for you, or maybe your weight isn’t really what’s making you unhappy and you’re best just the way you are.

  3. I used to be so strict with my diet. Then senses were forced onto me and now I try and eat healthy. Yes the holidays suck for eating healthy and being in college sucks for being healthy if you have a crap schedule with tons of studying, but I manage. This year I’m going to try and work out more so I can be stronger and not huff and puff when going up a flight of library stairs. I did yoga all last summer and I felt great after every session once it became routine. I find it really hard to go to the gym so I try the small workouts I find on pinterest. Those workouts may be small but they pack a wallop on my abs and arms! I think I might try zumba too since it looks like so much fun! Plus I have white girl moves ;)

    Happy New Year!

  4. I so agree with you! On diets, on starting slow, and on loving yourself. Such great words to read on the eve of a new year. Wishing you all the best in 2014 Peabody! :)

  5. Thank you for this on so many levels! It hit home today, because my husband of 9 years just dropped the bombshell that he wants to be single. He has told me for the past 9 years that I am overweight (and I am not) and I have took what he has said to heart. Your quote post has made me realize that sometimes pain can and will bring something positive on the other side.
    Thank you!

  6. wooow this post is just what i needed. this morning i cried for a good hour because i no longer could fit into my favourite dress. i vowed that i would lose weight as fast as i can and the guilt was so strong, i never wanted to eat again. i couldn’t stomach the thought. hours later my stomach was ravenous and i still didn’t want to eat. i had a salad still feeling terrible and was feeling even worse because i had spent the morning lying in bed and not moving around a lot. this post has reminded me that weight loss is a long journey and that i should love myself and my body regardless of what size i am <3

  7. @jennifer- well what a bombshell indeed. But as someone who has been divorced and am marrying again you can certainly find someone! And what a jerk to tell you that you were overweight!

  8. @kimberley- yes a long journey!

  9. Love this. So very true. We can be so hard on ourselves. I head into 2014 wanting to take better care of myself and my family, but instead of focusing on what we can’t have, I want to focus on what we can have and what we can add (more water, more exercise, more fruits and veggies, more relaxation). Focusing on the positive seems like a great way to go, on every level.

  10. I truly needed this right now. You and I think very much alike and this is a great reminder. One of the ways I’ve been consistent with my routine is the 20 minute rule – if I don’t feel like doing a workout I say “fine. Just go for 20mintues then leave” you know what I don’t leave. I do my workout and I always feel better. Sometimes just getting through the door gives you the boost.

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