If you are on Pinterest then you have probably seen either the motivational poster or the tattoo that wraps down someone’s back or side reading that every recently divorced or woman with a midlife crisis’s seems to be pinning that reads “just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly”. They claim it’s a proverb of what I don’t know. But my question is what’s wrong with being the caterpillar?

I have many a fond memory as a kid searching for and playing with caterpillars, the fuzzier the better. They were what I went searching for on the leaves of the bushes (well that and lady bugs). Butterflies were far too hard for me to catch and when we did we usually accidently ripped off its wings, some meaner kids not accidently ripping them off. Caterpillars were far sturdier. It’s just another example of society going for the colorful and flashy over the more common.

I know it’s not a literal translation and it’s supposed to be representing their new metamorphosis into whatever it is they are now. But why not just put “I was a crappy person and I’m trying to be less of that now” or “I was fat and now I’m not and so instead I just annoy people by telling them how many times I’ve been to the TRX or boot camp this week”. Yes, I know I am getting hate mail on this one, it’s been awhile.

These caramels I guess are like butterflies, well really more like silicone breast in that they start soft but harden over time. So yeah, no, they are nothing like butterflies. Oh well. But what they are is good. They receptionist at my Physical Therapist place is super nice and more importantly super grateful anytime I bring food. We were talking about what I should bring next and got to discussing salted caramel. And that prompted talking about sea salt caramels from a local restaurant and I told her I could make her some. Candy scares people, I get that. But you only get good at it one way…by making candy. A heavy pot, a candy thermometer, and patience are really only what you need to make candy…and the smarts not to touch the boiling sugar. If you don’t have vanilla beans you can just add a couple tablespoons of vanilla extract.

Salted Vanilla Bean Caramels

1 ¾ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup Lyle’s Golden Syrup (or corn syrup)
1 cup heavy cream
¼ cup unsalted butter, chopped in cubes
½ tsp. salt
3 vanilla beans, seeds scraped and pods discarded (though save them for making vanilla sugar)
Sea Salt for sprinkling

In a heavy saucepan over low heat, combine all the ingredients (except the sea salt), stirring until the sugar has completely dissolved.

Clip on a candy thermometer, stop stirring, and heat the mixture to 250F. This is going to take a while and where the patience I talked about comes in handy. Mine probably took almost a half hour to make it to that temperature with the pan on low heat. Do not be tempted to speed up the process by turning heat up. Also how good of pan you have will greatly effect how long you stare at the pot.

Immediately pour the caramel into a parchment lined pan (I use an 8-by-8-inch pan) or a silicone mold coated with nonstick spray.

Allow to cool completely in a cool, dry space. Sprinkle with sea salt.

If using a mold, invert the mold onto a piece of parchment paper and gently release the caramels. If using a pan, cut the caramels with a very sharp knife sprayed with nonstick spray. (I actually use a pizza cutter).
Wrap the candies in a piece of wax paper. Do yourself a favor and precut all they pieces of wax paper or else large amounts of swearing will happen as you try to cut then wrap, cut then wrap…you get the idea. Store in an a airtight container in a cool, dry place for up to a week.

Adapted from Sugar Baby by Gesine Bullock-Prado

I must have missed the memo that said it was email Peabody questions week. Holy cow. I am used to getting quite a bit of email but this week must have been REALLY slow at people’s work. None of them really hate mail either (so refreshing ) but some definitely quirky ones. So let’s answer a few shall we:

We will start with my favorite question which won’t be addressed but was too interesting not to post:

“I was just wondering if you were getting laid yet? If not, my brother’s roommate is a super nice guy with a good job. He loves the food I make for them from your website and says he finds you attractive. We live in the Seattle area. If you are interested, I can give you his info”.

Wow. That is all.

“What is your biggest pet peeve?”

Well that’s kind of hard to say as it really changes daily depending on my mood. But since it’s the beginning of the year I have to say all the low carb people. I realize you lose weight doing it. I watch many a friend lose doing it. And many a friend gains it all back once they go back to carbs. Why not just pick something that will allow you to fit a fun sized Skittles pack a couple times into your week? The only friends that I have that have ever lost weight and truly keptit off were people who had a very realistic timeline (the Biggest Loser has really made people have an F-ed up view of how much weight you should lose in a week) and kept all of their favorite foods in their diet throughout their diet.

Oh and the other one is cryptic people on Facebook who do things like everyone send good vibes my world is coming to an end…and then never answer you when you ask what is up. Just a bunch of drama llama attention whores.

“Whatever happened to your friend that was dating the much older guy?”

For those not familiar with what this reader was talking about go here. The answer is happily that they are still together. Her family has come around now as they realize that he was not just some creeper older guy trying to be with a younger gal. They have a house together and spend their free time playing hockey together.

“I follow you on Pinterest and have to say that you are way more girly than I would think of a hockey player to be.”

This was really more of a statement than a question but I will address it nonetheless. While I am often in a hoodie and jeans due to my large amount of time spent at hockey rinks, I do love to dress girly. I love Anthropolgie (the store) and anything that has a bow on it. I’m a big sucker for a bow, which is maybe why I love Hello Kitty so much (I own Hello Kitty Vans). When I taught school I was the one in ruffled skirts and heels. And my favorite color is pink.

“Do you floss?”

Only when food is stuck. I’m bad I know.

“Do you miss your kitchen you had when you were married?”

Oh my goodness yes. I miss the counter space and cupboards alone. And I miss cooking with gas big time. I miss the whole house in general. I’m very much a homebody so I miss having a home so to speak. I can’t actually bring myself to look at photos of my house even after all this time. And knowing I probably won’t be in a house of my own for a very long time, if ever, is a little sad to be honest.

Well enough with that, let’s talk cupcakes. Lucky for me one of the good parts about going to Physical Therapy is that I have people to bring snacks to. I asked if they would like any treats and I got a very large yes! So yay! These are basically devils food cupcakes with a banana added to them with a yummy fudge frosting. I went with minis because I was giving them to several people…plus people don’t feel so guilty when they are bite size.

And one last reader question: “You always call yourself lazy yet you seem to always be doing something, baking takes time. Are you really lazy?” Yes. Yes I am. I am so lazy that instead of taking down the Christmas tree I just threw new ornaments on there and called it a Valentine’s Tree. I’m considering a Spring one next.

Chocolate Banana Mini Cupcakes with Fudgy Salted Caramel Frosting

Chocolate Banana Cupcakes
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 super crazy ripe banana, mashed
12 TBSP unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
3 large eggs, separated, at room temperature
9 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted (use a double boiler)
2 cups milk
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and lightly flour two muffin pans (hold 24 cupcakes each).

In a small bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter until smooth. Add the sugar and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes.

In a separate small bowl, beat the egg yolks until thick and lemon-colored, about 2 minutes. Add the beaten yolks to the butter mixture and beat well.

Add the chocolate, mixing until well incorporated.

Add the banana and beat well, until fully incorporated.

Add the dry ingredients in three parts, alternating with the milk and vanilla. With each addition, beat until the ingredients are incorporated, but do not overbeat. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl, making sure the ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth.

In a separate small bowl, beat the egg whites on the high speed of an electric mixer until soft peaks form. Gently fold into the batter. Divide the batter among the prepared pans.

Bake for 13-15 minutes, or until cupcakes spring back when you touch them. Let the cupcakes cool in the pans for 1 hour. Remove from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.

Fudgy Salted Caramel Frosting

4 ounces bittersweet chocolate
5 ounces semisweet chocolate
1 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup salted caramel sauce (I used Trader Joe’s)
1 tablespoon butter, room temperature
2-3 cups powdered sugar

Chop chocolates and transfer into a heat proof bowl. Add caramel sauce.

Heat cream until bubbles form around the edge of the pan, pour cream over the chocolate and caramel.

Let sit for 1 minute then stir until combined.

Add butter and vanilla and stir until combined.

Transfer to the bowl of an electric mixture and let cool for 10 minutes.

Sift powdered sugar into the mixture and beat until combined. Add more sugar if needed.

Continue to beat with an electric mixer until lighter in color and creamy.

Today instead of honoring Veteran’s (or Remembrance) Day, most people were preoccupied with what they were going to wish for at 11-11-11-11:11. Ah, the priorities of people. Nonetheless you could have easily honored Veteran’s as well as wished yourself a little wish at 11:11am this morning, so let’s hope people went that route.

It makes me wonder what people wished for. My dog probably wished for bacon or pizza crust. Tons of teenagers (or grown 40-something women) probably wish that Twilight was real and that Edward married them. You might laugh at that but you would be surprised at the volume of email I receive because I live in Washington State asking me to get people authentic Twilight stuff from Forks, WA. FYI- I live four hours from there…stop asking.

Some people were probably wishing for something good to happen to them. Some people probably wishing for something bad to happen to someone else. Some people were wishing for the winning lottery numbers. Some people are wishing they had things the way they used to be.

The way things used to be. People romanticize this notion all too much. Over my computer desk there is a quote that reads:

“You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters are always flowing on to you.”- Heraclitus

So many people romanticize the past and wish they could go back. I can’t even begin to list how many of my friends want to go back to their twenties, relive those carefree days. It wouldn’t matter, because you would be 23 again and not realize those were carefree days. Wisdom usually comes with age. Now I know some people who are still waiting on their wisdom…but that’s because they haven’t really grasped how to be a grown-up in the first place. I don’t want to be 23 again.

So if you made a wish today, maybe it will come true, maybe it won’t. You probably have about as much odds as you do when an eyelash falls out and you put it on your finger and blow on it.

One thing I always wish for is more caramel. This is a very moist cake, the almond meal and yes mascarpone (I love it so) make it that way. If you cannot find mascarpone cheese, use cream cheese instead. You can make your own caramel sauce if you like, but I chose to cut corners and buy the Trader Joe’s Salted Caramel Sauce which is super yummy.

Brown Sugar Banana Chocolate Chip Pound Cake with Salted Caramel

2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup almond meal
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. salt
1 ½ cups unsalted butter, at room temperature
4 ounce mascarpone cheese, at room temperature
2 medium bananas, super ripe (like scary brown ripe)
2 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
1 cup powdered sugar, sifted
1 TBSP pure vanilla extract
6 large eggs, at room temperature
1 ¼ cups mini chocolate chips
1 jar salted caramel sauce (mine is from Trader Joe’s)

Spray a Bundt pan, 10-inch tube pan, or two 8 ½ by 4 ½ inch loaf pans with nonstick cooking spray (I used a loaf pan spring form and two mini loaf pans).

Preheat oven to 325F.

In a bowl, sift together the flour, almond meal, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, using an electric mixer set on medium speed, cream together the butter, bananas, and cream cheese, about 3 minutes. Gradually beat in the brown sugar and powdered sugar and continue beating until pale and fluffy.

Beat in the vanilla extract.

Add eggs, one at a time, scraping down the bowl after each addition.

Switch over to using your hand and a spatula. Add the flour mixture and fold into the batter. Do this until no flour can be seen and batter is smooth.

Fold in chocolate chips.

Spoon batter into prepared pans. Bake until a skewer inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean, 75-90 minutes. For my mini loaves, it took 55 minutes. For the spring form loaf pan it took 70 minutes. Let cool for 15 minutes.

Pour salted caramel over before serving.

Brown Sugar Cake recipe adapted from Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey by Jill O’Conner (if you don’t own this yet, you should!)

I was sitting with a group of mom friends and one of them was mentioning how they wished the housing market was better right now (who doesn’t?). Come to find out she wants to sell her four bedroom home and upgrade. I asked why the heck would she do that? Well we might want another child. I said, okay? You have two. Why do you need a 5 bedroom home? And she went in to how ideally she would really like a 6 bedroom home or at least 5 bedroom and a den. A master bedroom, a room for each kid, a playroom (what are bedrooms for?), and guest bedroom.

Growing up we never lived in anything larger than a 3 bedroom home. My parents now retired live in a two bedroom home (with a tiny, and I mean tiny loft up top…it’s an A frame). There were 5 of us. My mom, my dad, me, my two brothers, and our various dogs and random animals I would beg to have from a turtle to rabbits. My parents had their room. I had mine (I was the only girl…if I had a sister I am quite sure we would have shared a room). My brothers shared a room (and not just as kids…as teenagers as well). They had extra-long twin beds (they were tall boys). The “guest” bedroom was my room when people would come and I would get kicked to the couch. My parents did this because they did this thing called live within your means. You might have heard of it?

Not saying that my friend can’t probably afford a 6 bedroom house, both her and her spouse make good money, I just don’t see why you want to add more finical burden to yourself in today’s economy. I’m not sure when the idea of each child should have their own room. Sharing? Ever hear of that? It’s a good lesson to teach kids.

One thing you will definitely want to share are these caramel apples. This is the first time I have ever made a caramel that used sweetened condensed milk and I LOVE it. It gives it a little dulce de leche flavor as well. So nice. Yes, it’s harder than just melting the Kraft caramels down like we did as a kid with some milk…but it’s worth it. If you have any leftover (I did) you can simply spray a pan with baking spray and pour it in. They set up nicely as just plain caramels!

Mini Caramel Apples

25 mini apples (this is a guess) or 12 big apples (also a guess) as I did a mix of both big and small
2 C brown sugar
1 C corn syrup
1/2 C butter
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Combine the first 3 ingredients. After butter is melted stir in the milk.

Cook to soft ball (230 F degrees). Stir constantly.

Stir in 1 tsp. vanilla.

Remove from heat. Dip apples into the caramel, and then roll in nuts if desired, I used mini chocolate chips.

Let set up on a cookie sheet. Place in refrigerator if needed.

From Your Home-based Mom.com