Taking one for the team can mean a myriad of things. Most times in my circle it is referred to in the dating (I use that term loosely) scene. Where your wingman (or friend you dragged to the bar) gets stuck dancing/talking/buying drink/fucking the ugly and/or fat chick so that you can hit on her attractive, hot friend.

Sometimes it means sacrificing your body for the good of the game. In baseball it’s usually getting hit with the ball to take a base. In hockey it’s taking a puck that usually ends up hitting your body where there is no padding(I don’t know how the puck knows there is not padding there…but it knows).

In the fine cinematic masterpiece Armageddon, Bruce Willis takes one for the team, which in that case was our country, by going down into the asteroid and blowing it up with a nuclear bomb.

Monday night I went to take one for the team but got away with it so it wasn’t really a sacrifice. But it still counts in my opinion darn it all. See we were playing this team. This team had 4 girls on it who were less than polite and played pretty darn cheap. Not against me or the other girl on our team, but against the guys. Because they knew they could get away with it, and they were.
One girl actually tackled one of our guys and started punching him. He got a roughing call. All he did was lay there and get beat on. Not cool. This made our team less than happy. We started taking lots of penalties. Usually provoked by the girls. Which of course fueled them to do it more. One chick (she was no woman) kept shoving our players during altercations and saying “are you gonna hit me? Go ahead hit me?”

So in between periods our captain said that we were either going to get into a brawl (which he followed up with…we’re not good at…speak for yourself, I excel in that area) or we should start playing hockey (which we never did). So needless to say with 7 minutes left to play one of their girls tripped our player and grabbed on to his leg. He pushed on her to get her off. And let’s just say from that point on…it was on like Donkey Kong. I was on the ice and so I made my way quickly over for support.
At this point I had in mind that I was going to fight and take one for the team. As I knew no guy on my team was going to hit the girl. But I would.
So there she was screaming and hitting my player saying “what the fuck are you going to do about it? Hit me? Hit me? I dare you to hit me.” So I hit her. In the face. She then looked stunned and told me that she dared me…and before she finished the sentence I hit her again. In the face.

Then the ref pulled me to the side. Since I was never touched, I’m going with I won that one. I was thinking I would get in trouble for that. If you play recreational hockey I should have gotten third man in and a double minor for roughing. But I got nothing. I did go and sit the 5 minute penalty for our player that got kicked out, so in away I did take one for the team.

Speaking of the team, here are some cookies that I made for some of the guys on my team. They are a slight adaption of a David Lebowitz cookie from his Chocolate book. If you don’t have it, it’s very informative and has some good recipes. These are nice and chocolaty. The original cookies have cashews but I went with toffee pieces instead. I like it better that way.

Double Chocolate Espresso Toffee Cookies

8 ounces unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1cup light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp instant espresso powder
2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1cup toffee pieces
1 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips 

Preheat oven to 325° F.
Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper or spray with baking spray.

In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy.

Add the eggs, vanilla, and espresso powder.

Mix well, stopping once to scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl.

Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.

Mix into the creamed butter mixture, scraping again. Stir in the toffee pieces and chocolate chips.

Scoop the cookie dough using a cookie scoop, so that they are about the size of a golf ball, arranging them at least 2 inches apart.

Bake until the cookies are just flat, 16 to 18 minutes, turning and rotating the baking sheets as necessary for even baking.
Let cool about 10 minutes before transferring from the baking sheet to the cooling rack. Once cool, store at room temperature in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Adapted from The Great Book of Chocolate, by David Lebovitz

As much as I am a holiday lover, I’m not really into St. Patrick’s Day. It’s yet just another excuse for people to drink. Now, I am all for drinking, but I don’t need a day in the year as an excuse to drink. Need an excuse? Use mine.

Won my hockey game.
Lost my hockey game.
A drink for every bruise I got in the hockey game.
A drink for every time I mess up in the hockey game (though this is not wise because I usually pass out from how much I end up drinking).
Need to avoid doing laundry.
Need to avoid folding laundry.
Stressed because I have no clean laundry.
I wasn’t killed by a giant orca at SeaWorld today.
Taxes. This covers you from January to April 15th.
Stress from work.
Stress from not having work.
Want to see how many free beers I can get.
The mail got delivered.

With excuses like those, I don’t need a special day of the year to drink. First off, I’m not Irish. When they have a Scottish-Canadian holiday I’ll be all over that. But I’m not Irish, and I’m not being Irish for a day. That’s lame. No one ever goes Bosnian for a day.

Also, I’m not a big fan of actually going out on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s amateur hour. I mean, if you are sitting around waiting for a day as an excuse to go drink, clearly you are not a good drinker. You have not been properly training all year round to get in shape for the holiday itself. Which is why there are so many stupid people getting DUI’s, stumbling around drunk telling me they love me, puking in the corner,  and what not. Now it’s too late for this year, but I challenge you, that if you do go out for St. Patrick’s Day, start training now for next year. Oh sure, it takes lots of dedication, but if you are willing to commit, I feel you can do it. I have faith.

I may not usually go out for it, but I do usually like to cook something for it. Usually with stout. Last weekend, I was down in Portland. We took the train actually into Vancouver, WA which is just on the other side (easier to get to our hotel from that stop). While having some downtime waiting for our train (it was late due to running someone over on the tracks…yikes) it was suggested to me and my travel companion to hit up the Salmon Creek Brew Pub. So I did. For the sake of training and all. I sampled quite a few of their beers (again, all for training purposes only), my favorite being the Belgian. The other being their sweet stout. You could actually take beer home with you in growlers or keg. Since I was fresh out of a keg, I bought two growlers. Sadly my favorite beer can not be taken home (it’s just too expensive for them to sell) but I got the stout and the Scottish ale to go. Got to love the train…you can just walk on in with beer no problem.

Once you open a growler though it goes flat pretty quickly. And though I will drink flat beer no problem (years of training will help you with this), I decided to use the rest in recipes. Hence, a stout cake. A Chocolate Stout Cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream Ganache Buttercream Frosting to be exact. Proving you can be in training even when you are not drinking directly from a glass. But if you want to drink from a glass, I suggest serving a Stout Float. Trust me they are good. I made mine here with vanilla ice cream because we had it, but it’s really good with Bailey’s Irish Cream Ice Cream.

And in case you all were wondering, why yes, I was in training right before I frosted this cake. My frosting  job is even worse than usual.

Chocolate Stout Cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream Ganache Buttercream Frosting
For Cake:

2 cups stout (such as Guinness)
2 cups (4 sticks) unsalted butter
1 ½  cups unsweetened cocoa powder
4 cups all purpose flour
4 cups sugar
1 TBSP baking soda
1 ½ tsp salt
4 large eggs
1 1/3 cups sour cream

8 ounces chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter three 8-inch round cake pans with 2-inch-high sides. Line with parchment paper. Butter paper.

Bring 2 cups stout and 2 cups butter to simmer in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add cocoa powder and whisk until mixture is smooth. Cool slightly.

Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, and 1 ½  tsp salt in large bowl to blend.

Using electric mixer, beat eggs and sour cream in another large bowl to blend.

Add stout-chocolate mixture to egg mixture and beat just to combine.

Add flour mixture and beat briefly on slow speed. Using rubber spatula, fold batter until completely combined. Fold in chocolate chips.

Divide batter equally among prepared pans. Bake cakes until tester inserted into center of cakes comes out clean, about 35 minutes. Transfer cakes to rack; cool 10 minutes. Turn cakes out onto rack and cool completely.

Adapted from Epicurious.com
Bailey’s Irish Cream Ganache Buttercream
10 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla
3 TBSP Bailey’s Irish Cream (or more if desired)
12 ounces unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup powdered sugar

Place chocolate in a medium bowl.

Heat cream in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Once boiling, pour over chocolate. Let sit 3 minutes. Add in the vanilla and Bailey’s Irish Cream and whisk until smooth. Pour into a 8-x8-inch pan. Spread evenly and place in fridge for 30 minutes, until the ganache is cool and almost completely set.

Using an electric mixer (or a stand mixer) beat the ganache, and add the butter, one TBSP at a time, until all the butter is incorporated. Add the powdered sugar and beat for another 3 minutes.

Your frosting may look curdled a little. This is what the Bailey’s likes to do to the frosting. I add a lot of  Bailey’s to  mine so it likes to curdle. Tastes good. That is all that matters.

Cheers! Now get to training!!!!

So growing up I listened to a lot of punk music (still do). There was a group called Guttermouth that had a song called Perfect World. The song highlights all the things they would want in a perfect world. Got me thinking about all the things I would want in a perfect world. So here they are, in no particular order.

*The news would have to stop scaring people with stupid stuff. Telling me at 3pm, “you could you die from eating your dinner tonight. Find out at 11pm.” Find out at 11? If I am really going to die from my dinner, don’t you think you should give me a heads up before 11? In fact, go ahead a interrupt Oprah for me. It wont matter if I don’t get to find out some of Oprah’s favorite things if I can say, prevent myself from killing me and my family. Just saying.

*Hockey would be just as popular as Football. In fact, more popular. This would actually help men a lot in certain areas of their life. See, I don’t know if you watch the NFL, but there are a large amount of commercials for erectile dysfunction. LARGE amounts. It seems almost every other commercial is one. Apparently football watchers can’t get it up (yes, I know you are going to send me large amounts of hate mail). But watch a hockey game. Especially one being broadcast from Canada. Those commercials are usually for pizza and beer. Hmmm. Pizza and beer? Or non-functioning penis action? You decide.

*Reality shows would have to skip to the good parts. Sure, that would mean that the show would only be 4 minutes, but hey, I’m in charge in my perfect world. I don’t need two hours of the Biggest Loser. In fact, just make the whole show be them getting on the scale and weighing in. Then show me what the person who got voted off how they look today. No crying, vomiting, yelling, etc.

*Fake stars like Heidi Montag (btw- why the heck did you mess up your banging body with horrid looking breast?) and other Hills cast members don’t get to be popular. I don’t need to know where they shop. Or where they are getting coffee. Or that they are “just like me” because they pump their own gas. Oh yeah, we are so alike.

*No kids get to get sick. Ever. Just not fair. And only pain in the ass adults should get to get sick. Of course, I am a pain in the ass adult, so I would probably get stuck getting sick, but I would still enforce that rule.

*I would come out with a new food pyramid. One where bacon is the entire bottom. Swedish Fish, Whoppers, Toffee, and Red Vines become their own special food group, that you are encouraged to eat daily. We can keep fruits and veggies, just not force them on people. And I wont segregate them into starches. French Fries are indeed a vegetable. They are a really awesome vegetable when you fry them in duck fat.

*Whatever my horoscope says, actually has to happen (only the good ones like winning the lottery). Same thing with fortune cookies.

*I get to have all of Jerome Iginla and Danny Briere’s hockey skills…but still get to keep my winning good looks.

*And of course, everyone gets to eat dessert whenever they want….even before dinner. Or heck, as dinner.

Case in point, this here Baked Mocha Pudding, topped with Chocolate Mousse. If you are not a coffee fan, just leave the espresso powder out of them.

Chocolate Mousse Topped Baked Mocha Pudding

1 recipe chocolate mousse (I used this one)
2 Heath Toffee Bars, crushed

6 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 cup half and half
1 tsp instant espresso powder
½ tsp vanilla extract
pinch of salt
6 large egg yolks
1/3 cup granulated sugar

For Puddings:

Preheat oven to 300F.

Bring cream, half and half, and espresso powder to a boil. Place chocolate into a heat proof bowl and pour cream mixture over chocolate.

Let chocolate sit for 2 minutes, then whisk until smooth. Let cool for 5 minutes.

In a large bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, vanilla extract, salt, and sugar.

Whisking quickly and constantly, pour the chocolate cream mixture in a slow and steady stream to the egg yolk mixture.

Pour custard through a fine-mesh sieve into a large liquid measuring cup and let sit in fridge for 10 minutes.

Place ramekins (I used 4 ounce ones, will make about 7) into a deep baking pan. Pour custard evenly among the ramekins. Fill the baking pan with water, just until the water reaches the middle of the ramekin, creating a water bath.

Bake for 30-35 minutes. They will still jiggle in the middle (don’t we all ) but will set more as they cool.

Cool on a wire rack at room temperature for 1 hour. Then move to fridge for at least 4 hours.

To serve, pipe chocolate mousse on top of the baked puddings and top with toffee pieces.

I live in the land of Starbucks. I visit one often. I don’t think they are corporate scum like some people do. They provide me with yummy pumpkin latte’s and baked goods. So gladly throw me on the corporate sell out list. Plus I have several friends who work for Starbucks and are happily employed, so they can’t be that evil.

This time of year the Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin comes out. If you don’t think about the calories it is a yummy treat. Though while others eat them, I find my self starring off into space thinking what other kinds of muffins could I do this with the cream cheese center concept. A carrot cake type muffin would go nice of course with a cream cheese filling, as would a spice muffin. But me being the lover of all things hot chocolate and our area having hot chocolate weather, I decided to focus on those flavors.

I originally was going to go with a Candy Cane Hot Chocolate but some people are refusing to do holiday stuff yet until American Thanksgiving and so I am putting that on hold. I personally make my own, or if I am going powdered, I am a Stephen’s Hot Chocolate girl.

These turned out pretty darn good. A little too good says the extra pound being carried around in my thighs. I think next time I might use a little more marshmallow cream. It didn’t have that much marshmallow flavor. But I didn’t really know what the marshmallow cream was going to do since this was a bit of an experiment. But since I know who it reacts in the oven, I might throw in more next time. 

Don’t be confused by the pictures, these aren’t baked in cups. They are just regular muffins. I just happen to have a cup that the muffin fit perfectly into. Oh, and that cup is from Starbucks.  

Hot Chocolate Muffins with Marshmallow Cream Cheese Center

Hot Chocolate Muffin:

2 cups all-purpose flour
4 ounces hot chocolate (powdered)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp baking powder
½  tsp baking soda
½  tsp salt
2 large eggs
½ cup buttermilk
½ cup sour cream
4 ounces unsalted butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla

Marshmallow Cream Cheese Filling:

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cup marshmallow cream (fluff)
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 TBSP all-purpose flour
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 375F.

Spray two muffin pans with baking spray, or butter and flour them. This only makes about 16, but you need two pans, since a standard one only holds 12.

Using a stand mixer, or a bowl with electric beaters, beat the eggs and sugar together on medium-high speed until eggs become pale yellow, about 3 minutes. Add vanilla and beat another 30 seconds.

In a medium bowl, combine flour, hot chocolate, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

In a medium bowl whisk together sour cream, butter, and buttermilk.

Add half of the flour mixture to the egg/sugar mixture. Mix on low until just combined.

Add the sour cream/buttermilk mixture and mix on low until just combined.

Add the remaining flour mixture and again, mix until just combined. Don’t over mix.

Using a spoon or a piping bag, divide batter evenly, filling the cups ½ way up.

If using stand mixer, clean bowl. If using electric hand beaters, just get a new bowl. Beat the cream cheese and marshmallow cream together on medium-high for about 2 minutes. Until it is nice and smooth. Add sugar, egg, flour, and vanilla and beat an additional 2 minutes.

Spoon into piping bag (this will be the easiest). Place tip into the middle of the muffin and fill until you see the cream cheese on top. Repeat with all of the muffins.

Bake for 16-18 minutes. Insert a knife or wooden skewer to make sure they are done. Be sure to not insert the knife or skewer where the cream cheese is, that will give you a false reading of whether the muffin is done or not.