No, no….F you…

I had made these shortbread a couple of days ago in honour of Canada and the start of the Olympics. But things got busy and truthfully I could really think of anything but Go Canada to really write. Until today. When a lovely American citizen provided me with some fuel for my blog.

I was walking through the parking lot of Trader Joe’s today. Now if you are not familiar with Trader Joe’s, it’s a little more on the hippie side of things so I was a little taken back with what was said to me. I was wearing jeans, a Flames sweatshirt, and a Team Canada hat (pictured above ironically). When all of a sudden I hear some guy shout, “Fuck Canada and your hockey team, USA all the way!” He was pointing to my hat. I stood there thinking for a few seconds, deciding if I had enough time in my day to waste by engaging in conversation with this man. There were lots of witnesses so I thought, what the heck.

I smiled politely at the man. I said, “I take it you are a Team USA fan?” In which I got a “hell yeah I am”. So I followed up with “then who is your favorite player on the team?”

His reply? “Sidney Crosby”

My smile got even bigger. I told the guy that I hoped Sidney Crosby’s team would win the gold as well and left. I went on my merry little way picking up my brown rice sushi, almond milk, and Black Toad beer (seriously good stuff)

Now if you are confused as to why I find this funny, then you don’t know hockey. If you do know who Sidney Crosby is, then you probably are already laughing at this point in the story. See non-hockey following folks or those who live in non-hockey caves, Sidney Crosby plays for…wait for it….Team Canada.

I have several people ask me why I don’t bake that much with maple syrup. Very simple answer. I eat it. These cookies are case in point. They were like little mini, melt in your mouth, maple goodness. I swear I ate 10 (more like 30 shhhhh) in the blink of an eye. I tried to freeze them to stop me from eating them. Only to learn, I like them even better when they are frozen (just like I do with Thin Mints). So I quickly pushed them off on as many people as I could think of. :)

They do make a nice snack while you watch that fine American, Sidney Crosby, oh wait….., play ice hockey.

Go Team Canada Maple-Pecan Shortbread Rounds

2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface
½ cup cake flour (not self-rising)
½ tsp salt
½ cup pecan halves (about 2 ¼ ounces), finely chopped
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
½ cup granulated sugar
½ cup light brown sugar, loosely packed
¼ cup pure maple syrup, preferably grade B
1 large egg yolk
¼ tsp pure maple extract

1 large egg, lightly beaten
about 30 pecan halves to top cookies with (optional)

In a medium bowl, sift flours and salt. Whisk in chopped pecans, set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar on medium-high speed until smooth and light, about two minutes.

Add the maple syrup, egg yolk, and extract; beat on medium speed until well combined.

On low speed, gradually add flour mixture, beating until just combined.

Dough should be smooth and pliable. Flatten into a disk. Wrap in plastic; chill until firm, 1 ½ hours or overnight.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheet with parchment paper.

On a lightly floured work surface, roll out dough to ¼ inch thick. Cut out rounds using a two-inch cookie cutter; place one inch apart on prepared baking sheet. Brush tops with beaten egg;  place a pecan half in the middle.

Bake cookies, rotating baking sheet halfway through, until golden around the edges, 10 to 12 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool. Store in airtight containers at room temperature up to four days.

Adapted from Martha Stewart Cookies by Martha Stewart

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  1. Ohhh man. I would love to see his reaction when he realizes who Sidney Crosby really plays for!
    Maple syrup-containing baked goods are highly addictive for me too. I can’t wait to make these!

  2. I just love it when knuckle draggers like this one, yell obscenities at unsuspecting women going about their merry way. So gentlemanly.

  3. I have to apologize for my fellow dumb USAer. Man, how is it that the dumb nasty ones have enough money to come to the Olympics and the normal ones have to stay home. I hope another representative can make up for it.

  4. They look super delish! And as much as I root for team USA, hockey belongs to Canada man!

  5. Gotta love it. Im having a hard time choosing sides. Orpik, Sid, Fleury, Gonch, Geno… As long as one of them takes the gold, its a win for me. And if they take all 3, WOOOO! :)

    I hate those bandwagoner hockey fans. Burns me up. We get tons of them at the end of the steeler season. Wear their steeler jerseys to the Pens game, and know nothing about the team. Jackasses, they are.

    Love the cookies too. There is something very comforting about shortbread. It always makes me think of my Grandma Kennedy.

  6. Well, we know who got the last laugh on that one! I wish I could be a fly on the wall when it dawns on him what a jack ass he was. Pretty funny!
    I love shortbread and a maple flavored one is just that much more enticing. Thanks for the laugh. :)

  7. Haha! Thats hilarious! I hope he tells this story to someone thinking he is all great and wonderful and just gets humiliated when he finds out what an ass he was!

  8. I am embarrassed to be an American hockey fan at this point…great story though! Thanks for sharing =)

  9. Priceless!

  10. What an idiot!! I wish you would of told him who he actually played for, then the guy would of felt real stupid!

  11. Great story! =) And the cookies look delicious.

  12. I seriously can’t believe some people!! You were much more diplomatic than I would have been.

    The cookies look awesome!!

  13. That is some amazing restraint you showed there. I’d have a hard time not yelling a few choice words back…and I’m not even THAT big of a hockey fan.

  14. Had my trying hard not to choke on my lunch while reading this! Yummy cookies btw, I’d be distracted with those around!

  15. Hahaha!!!
    If someone got that on Youtube, it’ll be even funnier :)

  16. Yeah Pea!! Nobody should mess with my girl – she KNOWS her hockey :) xo

  17. Ha! Awesome story. I love this recipe. And even though I am an American who doesn’t really understand hockey, my cookies were even more Canadian than yours. Check it:

    Love your site!

  18. That story is hilarious! I bet you had a smile on your face for the rest of the day! I love it!

    Normally Trader Joe’s is such a pleasant place to shop. I guess you run into “know it all’s” no matter where you go.

    And the cookies look amazing. They do look like they would melt in your mouth!

  19. That guy is obviously very confused. These shortbread look fantastic – just the thing for Team Canada.

  20. Stupidity usually manifests itself quickly…hope you smiled A LOT…he wouldn’t get it anyway.
    Super cute cookies and thanks for the warning that they are addictive. Now I must make them!

  21. Thanks for tonight’s ROFL! I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he figures out his epic blunder. What a clod. I love hockey and I love maple cookies. You give me both and I don’t care who wins!

  22. i seriously love the flavor of maple syrup and for some reason have not experimented with it in shortbread – another favorite – so this is really sounds awesome!

  23. those cookies are marvelous! Anthing made with maple and pecans is welcome in my house!

    Some people are really stupid…



  24. I can’t believe someone said “F” another country in the parking lot of TRADER JOE’S, for heaven’s sake!! Geez louise. What is up with people??!! What a spaz. (I love TJ’s, BTW, and miss it so!)

  25. Hee hee! Good for you! Though, I kind of wish you had rubbed that guy’s nose in it. He sounds like the stereotypical “Ugly American”.

    Love those cookies, BTW. I’d have a hard time resisting them too!

  26. Some people are just born jerks, like this guy. It’s just too bad you had to run into him. Your cookies look delicious. I love baking and it is very hard to resist not eating tons of it when it’s delicious!

  27. GOOOO CANADA!!!! (Being from Vancouver Island I’m a little biased!) Am heading over to Vancouver next weekend to be a part of the Olympic Buzz and I can’t wait! Hilarious story!

  28. These look delightful, and just right for what I’ve been looking for: a way to use maple syrup for baking and really get the taste in there. I have two bottles that a friend brought from Canada, both “pure maple syrup.” One is No. 1, the other No. 2, and they don’t say A or B on them. I’ve been using No. 1 on my pancakes, assuming No. 2 is right for baking. Do you think it’d work for these cookies?

    Also: on behalf of my countryman, I apologize. Our sports fans really are obnoxious. I tend to keep my mouth shut b/c my favorite figure skater is French, and that’s one thing you don’t admit in the good ole US of A ;-)

  29. What is it about you? Why are you a magnet for the weirdest, rudest people on the planet? Seriously. Snaps, as always, for your polite response. And for the cookies. I’ll take two, please (since they’re small).

  30. Good for you!

    Actually, my head has been spinning trying to keep up with what country this person or that person is from and what country this person or that person is competing for instead and why.

    I waited patiently for two days of Ice skating footage to be over and the competition to begin so I could be told why the heck the pretty Japanese girl is skating for Russia. Too confusing!!

  31. All I have to say is GO CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

    These cookies rock! Love the picture!!!!

  32. I am constantly amazed at some of the things people choose to say! You handled that much better than I would have!
    These cookies look delicious!

  33. Haha! That’ll learn him to shoot off his mouth!

  34. You’re the bomb…

  35. Oh jeez. That’s just so sad and funny at the same time. Sorry you got a jerk yelling at you (but oh, hilarious, when he is watching the game and realizes his mistake…). I’m team USA all the way, but half the fun of a competition is being able to respect a worthy opponent! The other half is to trash talk in the RIGHT way, which I guess that guy has yet to learn!

  36. PS Cookies…. YUUUUUUUM!

  37. I cringed on behalf of all American hockey fans. Unfortunately, there are idiots in all countries. I’m sorry you had to run into one…and one who was badly informed as well. I always think belligerent people like that must be drunk.
    I love hockey, was a Red Wings fan (born and brought up in Michigan), but Canada owns the sport. I wish them well.
    Anything maple is to die for. (Love those maple sugar candies.)

  38. I’ve discovered I like quite a few things better when they’re frozen, I could see maple cookies being one of those things…

  39. I m reading your post and ha just watching hockey on tv (cause boyfriend is watching it) playing US team. I just don t follow it and don t understand it since it s not popular here. However I hope US team loses :)
    Yummy cookies

  40. This reminds me a little of the Rick Mercer Report:D Delicious cookies by the way. Go Team Canada!!!I can say that this early in the game.

  41. That’s hilarious. What a dummy, I actually don’t mind dealing with people like that because they just do all of the work for you :)

  42. Hey Peabody,
    I’m glad that the spirit of the Olympics is alive and well in that redneck… I must say you were a real lady and replied very politely. Yor thinking cap must have helped you at that moment! As a Canadian, I must vote for Team Canada, but we should enjoy all athletes, and applaud everyone’s effort because that should be the Olympic spirit. Great recipe, as always.

  43. Hahaha…LOVE IT! (I’m Canadian and don’t know I think about hockey, but I definitely knew that Crosby was Canadian.)

    Those shortbreads look so delicate and mmmmmelt-in-your-mouth. I like the scalloped edges. Maple pecan is an unbeatable combination!

  44. How funny! I get the same kind of random yelling at me if I wear my Michigan sweatshirt in public out here in Ohio. And then I giggle heartily when I hear how good people say Tom Brady is! :)
    yummy looking cookies!

  45. Great story. I love pecans and the Winter Olympics in Canada are just amazing, I’m not a sport fan but have enjoyed some of the Olympics.

  46. While I must admit I don’t know much about hockey, baseball guy myself, you story was GREAT! The cookies look delightful and if Team USA has to get beaten in hockey I can’t think of finer folks to get beat by! Now, where’s my maple syrup?

  47. Go team Peabody!!!!!

  48. Great story! I smile although I live in a non-ice hocky cave. Right at this point my youngest sportsmad kid happens to look over my shoulder and shouts: Mom! That’s the caramel girl that plays hockey right? (uhm that’s you) Can you ask her for a cap like that, I’ll pay for it!? You know her, do you?
    Don’t worry, I’ll bake him your cookies instead ;)

  49. Ha Ha Love it! Great story…almost as good as those cookies…drool…

  50. Would love to be there to see the look on that dumb asses face as he tells his friends that story and they’re like “dude..??? what were you thinking???”


  1. […] won in overtime. On a goal by none other than….Sidney Crosby. Why yes boys and girls, in the ultimate Karma revenge, the very favorite player of Mr. Parking Lot F-bomb Dropper scored in overtime.  Against the very […]

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