She had the best abs ever, she will be missed…


“Are you happy with your life?” “Are you in the best shape you want to be?”

While sitting waiting for allergy shots (you have to sit around for 30 minutes after you get them waiting to see if there is a reaction) these two questions were posed to me by the very “fit” woman next to me (I’m sure she has six pack abs which she can keep by the way). I turned to her and said “excuse me?” and could feel the sales pitch coming on. She went on to tell me how she was a life coach and wondered if I felt I could use her services.

First off don’t get me started on life coaches. There is no qualification to be a life coach…though I am sure nowadays there is an online degree for it somewhere. She didn’t seem to accept my answer that yes I was happy with my life and that while I was not in the best shape I wanted to be I was in the best shape of where I could be today. She piped in with surely there were things I wanted to change and I said of course. But that for right now those things were not changing due to circumstances beyond my control.

So then she went on and on about how everything is in my control, which for the record it is not. What you control is your attitude towards how things happen, but you cannot control many of the things that happen to you. I finally just snapped and let her know that I had zero interest or money in her being my life coach. That I was content with whom I was and that I had no desire to look like her. While I realize that the trend right now is for women to be “fierce” I usually laugh when people over the age of 14 use that word. First off I don’t want to be fierce. Fierce means violently hostile…why do I want to be that? And more importantly is that what I want to be known for?

I quickly became her least favorite person when I said “I don’t want my tombstone to read Peabody had one heck of a six pack and she ran four half marathons.” I went on to say that I wanted to be known for “making people laugh, making food that made people happy and full, and for making people feel loved and valued”. I told her that her tombstone would read “woman who made people feel bad about themselves in order to try and drum up business in a B.S. field of work”. She got up and moved far, far away from me.

This might not make you happy with your life but possibly temporarily :) . I made it to use up the Birthday Oreo’s that I had on the counter. The milk chocolate layer is just chocolate but the white chocolate layer has Funfetti cake batter in it. Sprinkle on some Birthday Oreo pieces and some sprinkles and you can’t help but smile….well you might not but then you would just be a grumpy person. :P

Oreo Cake Batter Bark

12 ounces high quality milk chocolate
12 ounces high quality white chocolate
4 TBSP Funfetti Cake Mix (I would start with one TBSP and taste as you go along, every person has their preference as to how cake batter flavor you want it to be)
Sprinkles
About 20 Birthday Oreo’s, broken into pieces

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and spray lightly with baking spray.

Melt milk chocolate. Spread evenly as you can across the baking sheet…try to make a rectangle. Put in fridge to set up for 10 minutes.

Melt white chocolate. Whisk in cake mix slowly, stirring well until no lumps remain. Spread evenly as much as you can across baking sheet. This will not be perfect as the warm white chocolate will start to make the milk chocolate melt a little…. the chocolate police will not come after you.

Sprinkle Oreo pieces and press them into the warm white chocolate to help them stay better. Have fun and add as many sprinkles as you want to the top of the bark while it is still soft.

Move to fridge and let it set up for about 20 minutes. Remove from fridge and cut into pieces.
Inspired by How Sweet It Is

Comments

  1. I am amazed with how rude people are these days. That ;ady was rude and you were spot on to call her out on everything she said. You’re lucky too, because you are older, you get to have a comeback and not have people get mad at you :P I’ve had several people who have pushed my buttons just a little too far, and because I’m only 18 and they are older and not to mention my customers, I don’t get to say what I want to say.

    These look delicious. It’s strange really, I haven’t had an actual oreo in years (excluding cookies and cream ice cream :P ) and now I’m suddenly craving one real bad. This is what you do to me Peabody, make me crave sugar right before I go to bed :D

  2. What a presumptuous twit. Nice response!

  3. Oh boy… I’m not sure what I’d do in that situation, but I got a very good chuckle from reading your story :)

    Seriously though, how incredibly rude.

    The bark looks yummy :) I love those Birthday Cake oreos!

  4. You know Peabody, one of the reasons you are so cool is that you say the things other people wish they would have said in retrospect.

  5. I also think that you can’t control everything in life…

    I’d love some of that bark now!

    Cheers,

    Rosa

  6. Love it!

  7. Gabriela says:

    Oh how I enjoyed reading this post. You are a genius, Peabody. Good for you! That’s PRECISELY what I’m going to do if I ever find myself in that situation. You bet your bottom dollar I will. Same goes for those poor slobs who go around “saving” people as a disguise for taking your money if you’ll join their cult, er – uh, I meant church. Or how about those relentless Amway reps who don’t have a real job and don’t know how to earn a real wage and, again, want your money so they can help you achieve your “dreams” (of alleged independence). An excellent post, my dear.

  8. HoHo Peabody! Way to go.
    Make me smile.

  9. Good for you. That woman has some serious issues if she has to resort to looking for business in a doctor’s office.

  10. I think there probably are a few legitimate life coaches out there…but if she thinks a better life is achieved through fitness alone – she’s not one of them.

    I was imagining these with the limited edition birthday oreos.

  11. @peabody – I †hink your response is spot-on; If someone is trying to “convince” you of anything, they need to have a thick enough skin to deal with disagreement. The fact that she apparently had zero social skills…

    @Gabriela I have no sympathy for those amway [or mary kay] peeps who are 2-3 levels up on the food chain. But I have loads of empathy for the ground level sales force – as you say they have been “suckered” into the [false] dream of financial independence. Those companies profit because of the desperation of their sales team.

  12. Wow. I get that she’s trying to make a living, but that’s a little aggressive which is hardly an endorsement for her coaching.

  13. Love this post!

  14. Wow. People amaze me without comfortable they are to comment on personal attributes of people. Yes she was probably “trying” to sell something but to me that is why we have so many people in our country who are overweight….the mentality to be fierce, eat and workout unnaturally and force yourself to be different than who you are, eat things that don’t taste good to them, workout more and then they “slip” and eat too much or the “wrong” food and it backfires.

    Oh – BTW yummy recipe I love me oreos!

  15. I love you-you are fabulous and you gave me my best laugh for the day ! Way to go

  16. I’m sure that recipe would make me temporarily happy – but even before that, that story definitely did.

    You are an inspiration!! :D

  17. But peabody, you were pretty “fierce” to talk to her like that…I mean a life coach…

    You don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re happy with your life, if you are. People who do this often mean well but sound so WEIRD when they talk, like it’s confessional, “Are you still talking to your mother?”
    but yeah…junk mail sales pitch…

  18. You’re my hero! :) .

    Okay sorry, Batman first; then you :) .

  19. *clap clap clap* Bravo!

  20. Sounds like your doc needs a “no soliciting” policy. What a b*tch!
    That looks like an awesome way to use up Oreos, btw :)

  21. Thank you for this, on this dreary, rainy, fraught-with-personal-disappointments day! When a food blogger makes me laugh out loud (no mean feat, I’m a grumpy old fart) I feel obligated to make the recipe it’s attached to. This looks yummy, I will try it.

  22. Congrats…you are now offically my hero. People like that just want you to be and look like them. “we can spend hours in the gym and will never have a social life but we will look AWESOME!” pass!

  23. I saw your earlier post mentioning the Pens….just wanted to let you know that I am drowning my sorrows post-elimination in your gingerbread white chocolate cookies. Sugar really does help. :)

  24. ha! good for you!

  25. Peabody, I have come to the conclusion you are a weirdo magnet.
    It is a talent either you have or haven’t got!
    At least you can get some good stories out of it and make me laugh.

  26. Kristina says:

    You meet all the weirdos!

  27. @Melinda and Kristina- I meet the weirdos because I smile…a lot. This is my conclusion. I make eye contact and I smile at people. That appears to be the key.

  28. Sigh. One day I’ll be able to speak my mind like that. People call me “sweet” a lot, but that’s cause I rarely open my mouth to say what I’m really thinking.

  29. You have absolutely made my night with this post. I used to think I wanted six-pack abs…but it turns out what I really want is chocolate and peanut butter and cake batter. Life is much happier this way.

  30. I refuse to believe these mythical birthday Oreos that I have been reading about on the web exist. I have looked at every market in the area and nothing. Spring colored, vanilla, mint, double fudge – but not a single birthday… T.T

    As for the ‘life coach’, I think you did just the right thing and your retelling of it made me smile. :D

  31. First, I cannot believe she asked you those questions.
    Second, this was such a great post to read on a Monday morning!!! Good for you for calling her out.

  32. Good grief people that confront strangers to promote their beliefs in any form (religious, lifestyle, diet, etc) for their monetary benefit annoy the crap out of me. If I want help I will come looking for you, otherwise leave me alone.

  33. Margaret Barry says:

    Good for you. I have an aquaintance who became a life coach a few years ago. I now equate the term “life coach’ with “insufferable, clueless, hypocritical hot mess who can’t manage her own life but has her hand in the pockets of others to manage theirs.” Your response rocks, and I will definitely keep it in mind the next time a polite “no, thank
    you” is not enough to excuse myself from partaking in this odoius woman’s “unique skill set”. You rock!

  34. Hooray for Peabody!

  35. HAHA!!! I’d have paid to see that show! Go you!

  36. OMG, you’re awesome! I think people need to hear the truth.

  37. Peabody, you rock. Period.

  38. These are super cool… love me some oreos!

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