…And I Feel Fine…

In case you aren’t up on current events you are going to die today…or tonight I’m not totally clear on that. I’m not sure if the calendar went UP TO the 21st and so you are good for today and then at midnight you kick off or if that we die today. Nonetheless we are gonners. I’m hoping that it happens at midnight (going into Saturday morning) because I have the late game tonight and so I would be playing hockey at the time and I am more than sure that is the way that I would want to go. Plus MDP would be playing alongside me playing hockey. And that would just be some sort of made for TV movie if ever there was one. You know, if we weren’t all dead.

So because I’m going to die and it won’t matter here we go confession time:

When I was 8 years old I wanted a stupid mirror heart that literally cost $.10 and I did not have that. I asked my dad and he said no. So I stuck it in my pocket. I still stress about the fact that I stole that to this day. Ironically I tried to return it because I had so much anxiety over it but lost it before I even got out of the store. So technically I think it stayed in the store. Anyway, 32 years later still feel bad about that.

In high school I may or may not have helped a group of friends transport a stolen street sign in my car (I had the largest vehicle) and put it in front of the principals house. I may or may not have been pecked to death that night by geese later that night as punishment.

When I am super-duper sick and super-duper tired of blowing my nose over and over again I just shove Kleenex up my nose. It got to the point that I would do this in front of my advanced math kids because I trusted them so much. Most of them use this method of snot collection to this day. Spreading my wisdom not in the way I planned. :)

Teachers have favorite students…there I said it. Though you might be surprised that it’s probably not the goodie-goodie kids that you think.

Four years ago I bought cookies and threw frosting on them and passed them off as my own. Which technically if you ask Sandra Lee they were my own. :P

I’m THAT person. I’ve never smoked a cigarette, done any drug (well that didn’t follow surgery), and didn’t get drunk (or even buzzed) until the nice country of Canada told me I was allowed to do so.

I hide the good chocolate.

And if I am going out I am going out eating the three best savory things on Earth: lobster, avocado, and bacon.

If you did survive and you still need shopping done and don’t want to brave the mall a reminder that Amazon.com is your best bet. I know my ex-husband used to work in supply chain and had to work all the way up until Christmas Eve. Sucks for employees…great for shoppers! If you get one day shipping it will still get to you by Christmas!

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  1. Dude, if I had that lobster-bacon-avocado sandwich, I’d feel pretty darn fine too… :D

    I stole a pink eraser that was shaped like a crayon out of some kid’s desk when I was in 3rd grade. I think I still have it. I totally still feel guilty about stealing it.

    I was totally THAT person, and… yeah, still am.

    Who *doesn’t* hide the good chocolate? I know I do… ;)

  2. Whoa, that sandwich looks amazing…it is making me very hungry :)

  3. I stole some rocks at (I think it was) a Wallgreens when I was about 5. They were sitting in a jar and I took them. I then felt so bad I told my mom about it and she drove me back to the store and made me appologize.

    I also shove kleenex up my nose, so it’s ok, you’re not alone ;)

    Happy Appocalypse Day!

  4. I am soooo hungry right now.

  5. What a funny post. I’m a teacher so I can totally relate to the part about having favorite students that aren’t the goody goody ones.
    Those lobster rolls look amazing!

  6. I am THAT person too, you are not alone. I disagree with you about the lobster though, I think I’d switch it out for buffalo chicken.

  7. When I was little, I would walk to the store and buy a few caramels from the pick-a-mix display (back when you could just drop in a few coins to pay). One time, I got home and realized that I’d taken one more caramel than I’d paid for. I ran back to the store and put in another nickel, convinced the whole time that someone from the store was going to jump out from behind the display, scream “gotcha!,” and throw me in jail.

  8. Too many of those sandwiches and you won’t feel fine! But it does look delicious…

  9. My kind of L in the BLT! :D If today was my last day, I spent the morning crappily…at Walmart. But my afternoon was baking cookies, plus making a surprise Christmas treat for my mom, so I guess I can go out with cookies on the brain, haha.

  10. The sandwich looks and sounds amazing! I looked at the comments to see if I was the only weirdo who thought in the first picture the lobster meat in the foreground resembled a little leg and foot on the right.. and a little foot on the left… maybe like it is trying to escape! Maybe I’ve had a little too much peanut butter fudge this morning!

  11. Of COURSE you hide the good chocolate….. Isn’t that a rule or something?!?

  12. This is so simple it’s great! I have to try it one of these nights as a quick dinner

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