There is rarely a good time to do anything. And yet people are always waiting for it, waiting for the right time. The right time to get married, travel, have kids, move to a foreign country, go back to school…you name it. This is no way to navigate through life.
The hardest part of the divorce was getting up the nerve to talk about it. The elephant in the room that we chose to ignore week in and week out. I kept building in my mind how horrid the talk would go all the things that would go wrong, etc… And yet, once it was out there it was a huge weight lifted off. I think so many times people build up all the worst case scenarios in their head and instead of doing what’s best they wienie out instead. They don’t want to disrupt the status quo. Well to this I say put on your big girl (or boy) panties on and bite the bullet to whatever it is you’ve been needing to do. You will never find the right moment.
This week one of my former students had to tell her son that her daddy had died (the former student I mentioned). There is no good time to do that. Does it have to be done? Yes. Is it total crap that it has to be done? Yes. For the record, the child did quite well with the news all things considered. Truth and support are what made that reaction possible.
People don’t just put off the hard things in life, we love to put off potential happy things as well. Many people I know don’t get married because they don’t have the money to do so. Ask yourself, do you want a wedding or a marriage? If you are too worried about the ring you are missing out on, the gifts the guest would have given, or your trip to Maui for a Honeymoon, then you really aren’t wanting a marriage. You can always upgrade your ring later (though I don’t really understand this…to me the ring the man gave you should have immense sentimental value and if you are trading it up, you might want to rethink what that man (or woman…don’t want to miss out on my same-sexers who read me )means to you. If you are using this as an excuse because you don’t want to get married, then man up and say that to the woman.
Waiting till you have enough money, in the right point in your career, etc. to have kids? News flash, you will never have enough money. Kids are money suckers till the day they die. I’m still a money sucker. Now, if you are someone who can’t pay their bills on a month basis and don’t have a job then go ahead and hold off, though many people don’t.
Always wanted to go on a dream vacation, but waiting for the right guy/girl to go with? Just go. Don’t have the money? Give up your latte, Coach Purse buying, tanning salon visits and you would be amazed where the money can come from.
I personally keep putting off a cookbook. Now it’s not really because it’s not the right time, I just can’t ever really figure out what I would want in that book. And I’m not at all interested in seeing how badly they would edit my book. Lord knows the magazine work I have done gets edited so much I’m not sure it was mine to begin with.
So if you have things you really don’t want to do…do it anyway. Do it now! Call the IRS and sit on the phone for hours to discuss the thousands of back dollars you owe. It’s not going away, I can assure you of that. Tell the girlfriend/boyfriend you’ve been dragging along just because you don’t want to be lonely that they aren’t the one for you and that you both deserve to be happy, with other people. Start looking at travel brochures and set up a small savings account just for that. Maybe put $10 a pay check just for that. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and you can always add to that.
And after you are done pulling your big girl/boy panties up, sit on down to a nice ice cream sundae, because you deserve it. Though depending on what you have to do, a shot of tequila might be more appropriate. But a sundae with toffee, marshmallow fluff, and salted caramel can cure a few aliments I am sure. I’m not supposed to have diary (causes eczema) so I usually avoid it but I was craving an ice cream sundae like a mad woman. I always have vanilla ice cream in the freezer because it’s a nice accent to a lot of the foods I make, so I just went with that. If I had more time I would have maybe put the toffee in the ice cream. But it was awesome all the same.
Toffee, Salted Caramel, Marshmallow Fluff Sundae
Vanilla Ice Cream
Salted Caramel Sauce
2 cups of Toffee Candy Bars, chopped up
Vanilla Ice Cream
1 cup whole milk
A pinch of salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 cups heavy cream
6 large egg yolks
1 TBSP pure vanilla extract
Heat the milk, salt, and sugar in a saucepan. Cover, remove from heat, and infuse for one hour.
To make the ice cream, set up an ice bath by placing a 2-quart (2l) bowl in a larger bowl partially filled with ice and water. Set a strainer over the top of the smaller bowl and pour the cream into the bowl.
In a separate bowl, stir together the egg yolks. Rewarm the milk then gradually pour some of the milk into the yolks, whisking constantly as you pour. Scrape the warmed yolks and milk back into the saucepan.
Cook over low heat, stirring constantly and scraping the bottom with a heat-resistant spatula, until the custard thickens enough to coat the spatula.
Strain the custard into the heavy cream. Stir over the ice until cool, add the vanilla extract, and then refrigerate to chill thoroughly. Preferably overnight.
Freeze the custard in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
Adapted from Mr. Ice Cream himself David Lebovitz
Salted Caramel Sauce
1 cup granulated sugar
¼ cup water
4 TBSP SALTED butter
¾ cup heavy whipping cream
In a heavy saucepan set over low heat, combine the sugar and water and heat just until the sugar is dissolved. Add the butter. Let it come to a boil and cook until it reaches a golden caramel color.
Remove from the heat and add the cream ( it will splatter and get crazy, but do not fear and trust the recipe). Whisk to combine and put back on the stove. Let it come to a boil again over low heat and cook 10-15 minutes until you reach a nice creamy consistency.
Adapted from Tartelette.com
6 TBSP water
1 ¼ cups light corn syrup
¾ cup plus 1 TBSP sugar
4 large egg whites
Pinch cream of tartar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
In a small saucepan fitted with a candy thermometer, bring the water, corn syrup, 3/4 cup sugar to 246 degrees F.
In the meantime, in a completely clean, dry mixing bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip the egg whites, salt and cream of tartar until creamy and foamy, about 2 minutes.
Still whisking, sprinkle in the remaining 1 tablespoon of sugar and continue to whisk until the whites hold very soft peaks, about 2 minutes. While mixing on slow speed, carefully drizzle in the hot syrup. Turn the mixer to high and whisk until thick, fluffy and just warm, about 7 minutes. Turn the mixer to low and whisk in the vanilla.
Fluff recipe from Food Network.com
To make the sundae:
Get a bowl, dish, or bucket, whatever. Add a little caramel, then some toffee pieces, then fluff. Top with ice cream. Repeat until you run out of bowl space.